Month: December 2016

This post took me a lot longer to write than all of the other posts this week put together. I was all gung-ho to set these very specific, measurable, ambitious goals so that I can charge headlong into 2017. Then I sat there for a while and reflected on what my real challenges were in 2016… did the goals I had written down address that? Would they help drive me to fix the areas I really needed to work on?

Trainer said it quite well at our last XC school… I had gotten very frustrated at my inability to do something perfectly and started to just shut down mentally, and she took me aside for a lecture that was a combination of “suck it up buttercup” and “you can do this” where she called me Type A. For some reason that part stuck in my head and I kind of laughed at that on the drive home. I’ve never been accused of being a Type A personality ever in my life. Those people are super high strung workaholics that are mega organized and get anxious about everything, right?

Eh, turns out no, it’s not quite that simple. I started looking into it and while my general personality is only a little Type A, when it comes to riding, I’m about as severely Type A as they come. Super competitive, super intense, and never satisfied with anything. My biggest struggle this past year was letting go of my own mistakes and trying not to overanalyze or put too much pressure on myself. No one can ruin my own good time like I can. Therefore what’s my biggest problem? ME.

So with that revelation in mind, I scrapped almost all of my original goals and started again. 2017 is to be the year of “chill the hell out and have fun with it”. I’m not aiming for anything super ambitious, I’m not setting out an intricate show plan or worrying about qualifications or scores or points or any of that stuff. This year I’m fixing my brain (I am my own worst enemy) and working on having confidence in myself.

Complete at least 4 Training horse trials – schooling or recognized, whatever. I don’t care how I place or what our score ends up being (that’s a lie, I care a lot, but I’m trying to convince myself not to care) I just want to complete and put a deposit in the confidence bank.

Score under 35 in dressage at Training – it would be nice to get a respectable dressage score, even if I don’t finish on it.

Take at least one lesson a month – I’m hoping we’re back on track with this now, but it’s still worth writing down.

Attend another course/seminar related to the Young Event Horse program – I had so much geeked-out fun at Fair Hill, I really want to continue that education.

Get Baby Horse registered, inspected, and microchipped with RPSI – This is all fairly obvious stuff for a baby, but it’s a milestone, so here it is.

Get Baby Horse lifetime recorded with USEF – This is kind of a reminder to myself, because if you do the USEF lifetime recording the same year they’re born, it’s $35. If you wait til they’re 3 or older, it’s $200. He may or may not ever actually need to be USEF recorded, but for $35 let’s do it.

Chill the eff out, you psycho – ha, j/k. But really, dial it back like 12 notches in general.

 

Finish half marathon under 2:40 – I feel pretty confident that 2:40 is doable… I did it in 2:15ish in 2013, but I’m also definitely nowhere near as fit now as I was then (at the peak of my triathlon “career”). 2:30 would be the stretch goal, but I’d be satisfied with 2:40.

Keep running 3x a week – even after the half is over, I want to keep running just to keep my fitness level up. It’s helped a lot.

Work on my core strength – The rest of my lower half has gotten so much stronger from running, but my core is definitely still lacking. If I want my dressage to get better, I need to work on that.

Take a non-horse related vacation – Chicago in the summer, maybe?

 

Look at me, over here ready to chill out and relax in 2017…

but I’m gonna try not to do it like that.

 

 

P.S. If anyone has some Christmas money burning a hole in their pocket, Riding Warehouse has 20% off sitewide through the 2nd! Time to stock up on Henry’s favorite rock salt and some new clipper blades. Even the sale stuff is 20% off! Hope no one’s 2017 goals included “control my spending”…

Some of you may have noticed a lack of riding photos lately. Or an overabundance of really fuzzy, kinda far-away ones. Or a ton of “between the ears” shots.

Yeah well… that’s because I always ride alone. Literally in the past 2 months I’ve ridden in the same space with someone else a grand total of twice. In a lot of ways, that’s a great perk. There’s never anyone in my way, no one ever comes in and changes all my jumps around or messes with what I’ve set, and I rarely have to share the crossties with anyone. The fields are pretty much mine to do with as I please, since the only other people that use them are trail riders. And of course, when I royally screw up, there are no witnesses to my idiocy. All of those things are awesome.

The downsides are that there is never another rider around to bounce ideas off of, or anyone to put a rail back up for me. And trust me, there is a limit to how many times I will get on and off to put rails back up or raise/lower jumps (usually that limit is 1, because lazy). Those things aren’t too bad, but they do make for a lack of media. The only pictures you get are from the times where I set my phone on a barrel (or bungee it to a tree branch with a hair tie, which did actually happen) and point it at a certain spot. SIDE NOTE: now accepting donations for a Pixio or Soloshot…

It also means that there is much less of a social aspect to my barn time, and it’s more about me and my horse. For the most part, I really love that. No distractions, just pure Henny time.  We’ve had many a one-sided conversations. But… sometimes a girl wants someone to hack and have a chat with, ya know? Granted, a busy barn is NOT my thing, so I’ll choose solitude any day over that.

I suppose I can’t have it both ways, and that’s the (admittedly small) price I get to pay for all of the other perks. It does get a teeny bit lonely out there sometimes though. Until I remember that people like Bobby exist, and then I’m like “meh…alone is probably better”.

Last week things got a little exciting on the internet when a thread was posted on COTH about an individual’s personal experiences with a particular trainer. Threads like that aren’t too uncommon, but usually they’re vague and don’t name the trainer or give a lot of details about their supposed transgressions. This one, however, did just that, and provided a veritable laundry list of complaints and bad experiences. The poster even said she had evidence to back it up and had consulted an attorney.

I’d already seen the beginnings of this situation unfolding on facebook, since I’m friends with some of the other people involved. Knowing both the accuser and the accused (not well, but I’ve seen them both at shows), I didn’t find a lot of it too hard to believe. But of course I kind of gave it the ol’ “Well, it’s probably half true” eyeball, because that’s usually the case. Of course, even if only half of it was true, it was pretty mind-boggling.

What I thought was really interesting though, complaints and situation aside, was the initial knee-jerk public response to the thread. A lot of people blamed the poster for putting her horses in that situation, or for not getting them out sooner, or called her a pot-stirrer. At one point someone even posted personal information about the poster’s occupation, which has absolutely zero bearing on the matter at hand. Initially, it sure looked a lot like bullying and victim-blaming instead of people trying to get genuine clarification on the situation.

This isn’t the first time that’s happened, and won’t be the last. For some reason that seems to be the MO of the internet in general, which seems to make a lot of people hesitant to say anything. When it comes to a client calling out a professional, the automatic assumption is pretty much always that the client is wrong… yet usually if you just ask the right questions, it’s pretty easy to get the gist of what really happened and where the fault my lie. While I certainly think that it’s 100% correct to meet stories like this with healthy skepticism and to do your own research before you cast judgment, it makes you think… is this why more people don’t speak out against well-known professionals?

Because the more that the thread went on, the more people came out of the woodwork with stories about this trainer (both on COTH and on the poster’s personal facebook page). At one point it was just nuts to see how many people had similar experiences but had been reluctant to speak up publicly. And of course, that was the point at which the tide began to turn in the COTH thread and people started to support to the poster, rather than attack her or point the finger (and the point at which several of the rudest comments from the first few pages magically went *poof*).

It was so interesting to watch this unfold, from a social and psychological aspect. On one hand, when you go so far as to publicly call out a professional, you have to be prepared for a lot of questions and some criticism, and rightly so. On the other hand, there was some downright bullying behavior from people who suddenly changed their tune later. A few people still criticized though, saying that they didn’t think making such a public display of their grievances was helpful.

I absolutely do see the potential harm if someone is hurling false allegations, but I was really glad to see this poster be brave enough (and it’s sad that it DOES require bravery) to speak out and be unafraid to name names in the process. While I had already seen enough of the trainer’s methods at shows to never give her my business, this person’s experience plus the experiences of everyone else that subsequently came forward and shared similar stories really sealed the deal on staying as far away as possible. And now that all of it is out there for everyone to see and discuss, there’s no burying it. Will it actually have any impact on her business? Well… probably not really. I mean, people like Paul Valliere still do just fine (which is a whole ‘nother subject entirely – wtf, horse world?). But at least the information is out there now for anyone who may Google her name.

What are your thoughts on public “whistle blowing” like this against trainers and industry professionals? Do you think all of it should be kept behind closed doors, or do you think it’s important for the public to hear about these things? And, maybe more importantly – why do you think there tends to be such a mob mentality type of reaction with bullying and victim-shaming, rather than intelligent questions or concerns?

Finally – a long weekend! I really needed that, my brain was running on fumes. Plus since the weather was warm (for real, it was 80 and humid) it meant I was able to squeeze in lots of pony time.

On Thursday after work I went out and set all my jumps back up (damn wind) and raised a couple. I need 3’3″ to look small again before our Training debut, lest I canter up to the base of an oxer, pick 15 different spots, and then curl up into fetal position at the base. Not that I’ve ever done that before or anything.

I set everything 1m – 1.10m and set off to our little warmup flower boxes… and sucked. Rhythm was not happening, none of the jumps were coming up right, and I kept staring down at everything. After the 3rd Epic Butt Save in a row, Henry finally laid on the brakes at the next one and pinned his ears back at me like GET IT TOGETHER, WOMAN!! Sigh. Times when I really wish I had my trainer around. So I walked a lap, picked up the canter again, went over my mental checklist of How to Ride, and finally things started working out a lot better.

It still wasn’t exactly a great display of riding on my part, but at least I wasn’t chasing my horse to nothing and then abandoning him at the base. I managed to do the course without any major mistakes and decided to quit on that note. No use torturing my saintly pony.

The next day I decided to give both of us a little bit of a mental break and pulled out our fancy custom neck rope from Reins for Rescues.

It was a dreary foggy day, but we set off through the fields on a bareback and bridleless adventure. I love having a horse that can be jumping 1.10m one day and then hacking bridleless through the field the next day. We meandered around all 120 acres for a while, I let him pause to graze for a bit, and then we called it a day.

The next day it was back to the dressage work, which he was a little tense about. He also didn’t meet me at the gate that day either, which he always does. He just glared at me as I walked out to get him, like “oh Christ, it’s her again”. I swear he was still mad about my shitty riding on Thursday.

He got Christmas off, and I shoved him full of all kinds of treats. That seemed to do the trick, because yesterday he once again met me at the gate, ears pricked.

I did another dressage ride, with a really long walk around the pastures first. By the time I picked up my reins and went to work he was really super. And for the first time ever, I actually succeeded in getting him to do a real canter-walk transition. Like… with no trot steps and not on the forehand and dragging me! MIRACLES. As soon as he did that I immediately stopped, loosened my girth a hole, unbuckled his flash, and was done.

It was a fun long weekend with Henny, and lots of variety. So fun, having a horse like this. We never get bored.

This is my 3rd year participating in the Blogger Gift Exchange, and the 3rd time I’ll say this: I always feel really sorry for whoever gets me. I know I’m really difficult to shop for and I can never think of any good hints. Yet, for the 3rd year in a row, my Secret Santa (this time it was Kaity at Leo the Saddlebred) managed to hit it out of the park.

I’ve mentioned here before that I seem to collect hats. That didn’t start on purpose, but now I always try to nab a ballcap with my favorite brands or shops on them whenever I can. Kaity took it one step further and had one embroidered with Henry’s hashtag: #hennythingispossible. And in our XC colors, no less!

She also included tons of treats for Henry, some chocolate, and some cute socks. Many thanks, Kaity! Henry has already eaten 75% of the treats… all the peppermints went into his usual Christmas Day bran mash:

 

Aside from all the treats and his mash, I also got Henry a new Ogilvy baby pad for Christmas (boy is he thrilled… I feel like saddle pads are the equine equivalent of a human getting socks) and our Lund anatomic girth arrived around the same time so I’m pretending that was a present for him too. Shhh… don’t tell him.

As for myself, it was a very adulting kind of Christmas. From the SO I asked for a cover for my horse trailer (for the long wet months, since the sides are open) and a clothes steamer. Yeah I know, a clothes steamer… am I 50? Whatever, it’s a little handheld miracle machine when you’re a super wrinkled type of person who also hates ironing.

The SO also dragged me to the mall with him on the 23rd to pick up a few last minute gifts that he needed (he’s one of those people) and when we walked into the Gift World store, I locked eyes with this beauty and had to take it home.

Merry Christmas to me! SO is not thrilled about the new addition to our dining room. Meh… shouldn’t make me go to the mall two days before Christmas. I love my ridiculous unicorn salt and pepper shakers, especially considering the living room is filled with his fancy horror movie posters. Now our house just looks super confused. Plus I picked up a tiny little laughing Buddha that is now sitting on the mantle. That store is amazing.

I also got a couple of fun surprise gifts from friends and family, including but not limited to:

Remember these custom Tucci Marilyn’s that I’ve been lusting after for months? Guess who’s finally getting measured so they can be ordered??? I AM SO EXCITED. Especially because my show boots have giant holes in them. My friends are the best ever.

And, some of you may recall that time I asked for a wheelbarrow full of money. My dad is a smartass… a very very clever smartass. He made (yes, made) me exactly that:

If that’s not impressive, I dunno what is. Dad Humor: level Pro.

Overall our Christmas was pretty quiet… we had Indian food for lunch (my most favorite tradition), took the dogs to the barn to run around, hung out with my dad for a little bit, and then capped it off with the Doctor Who Christmas Special. My kind of holiday.

Hope everyone had a good Christmas! Did you get or do anything fun?