Do you ever have one of those moments of extreme clarity when you’re like “I really am a special kind of stupid”? That was me last night.

There’s nothing like a 40 degree temperature drop plus wind and misty rain to liven up your biweekly dressage lesson. Or test your resolve and dedication to this idiotic (and futile) pursuit of circle-trotting perfection.

Ok maybe I’m over-simplifying the objective of dressage.

And maybe I’m being dramatic about the temperature. There was no ice. Not even close. It was 48. Not pleasant, but not too terribly miserable. Granted, it was 88 a couple days ago so my thighs and butt were numb all the same.

I was a little concerned I might have a lot of airs above ground, so I got on early and walked for a while. I definitely had some forward but Henry was surprisingly not that tense or silly, aside from pretending to spook at the poles on the ground (which is kind of embarrassing when you’re on an event horse at a dressage barn).

After a short warmup we went straight to two-track work, where we quickly displayed that if it’s possible to do something, it’s also possible to OVERdo something, and we got dinged for too much angle in the shoulder-in. Look, Henry has decided he’s super good at sideways, ok?

He had a little bit of a tantrum when we got to haunches in on a circle. And by tantrum I mean he tried to root down hard against my hands and trot quickly away, like a horse’s version of clamping his hands over his ears and going LALALALALA CAN’T HEAR YOU.

Unfortunately for him I’m more stubborn than he is, so he ended up doing the exercise anyway (albeit with a lot of sasstail).

When we got to the canter work, Dressage Trainer threw out this little tidbit: “think of getting him to take longer strides with the hind legs”… which… are all of the people I ride with co-conspiring behind my back or something, because he’s literally the THIRD professional in the last month that has thrown out that exact idea.

I became even more convinced of a conspiracy when we were walking out afterwards and I joking told Dressage Trainer that I was gonna try not to die at Texas Rose this weekend. He barely even hesitated before he said “Well if you do, I’ll take Henry”. Jokes on him, because Event Trainer staked her claim a long time ago and she’s way meaner than he is so there’s no way he’d win that fight. But really though… I’m starting to get paranoid about their motives…

 

…a Yeti cooler.

Before you get too shocked about it not being an actual horse-related item (if I ever stop asking for horse-related stuff for the holidays it’s fair to assume I’ve been bodysnatched), I specifically want it for horse shows. Mostly to keep ice for Henry’s ice boots so I don’t have to worry about it the morning of cross country. That’s normal, right? I don’t need anything huge, just the Roadie 20 or the Tundra 35 would work. I don’t even care what color it is. Ok that’s a lie, they should make one in navy, but they don’t.

The serendipitous thing about this is that the SO gets employee discounts on Yeti stuff through his work, so he can buy me one! So thoughtful, I am. He hates buying me horse-related presents so I think I won’t tell him why I actually want the cooler. We’ll just let him think that I’ll use it for normal things like food and drinks.

Otherwise, my dad is taking us all to Utah for Christmas, which I’m pretty excited about. Maybe it’ll be snowy? Hopefully we can hit some of the national parks and do a little hiking. Christmas mini-vacay!

The only thing left is to figure out what to ask me to buy for myself (because I buy myself the best presents). I think Henry is going to get the Back on Track quarter sheet (shhh don’t tell him), so we’ll see what else tickles my fancy on Black Friday. I have become weirdly obsessed with this checked vest at Riding Warehouse. It’s so… lumberjack chic. And I dunno about y’all, but I definitely want to be lumberjack chic.

But I’ve also been toying with the idea of getting a pair of my beloved Aqua X breeches in a full seat, for cooler weather. They’re definitely not winter breeches, but maybe the full seat would make them workable for Texas’ version of winter?

There are a few things I actually do need to buy that I’ve been putting off, like more poultice, brown spur straps, new clipper blades, etc… we’ll see what “fun” thing jumps in the cart along the way!

As for Presto, he’s getting a box of toys and either a blanket or a leather yearling halter with a nameplate that he can grow into. I haven’t decided yet. I mean, what does a scruffy, awkward weanling/yearling really NEED anyway? Besides manners.

Did you guys figure out what you’re asking for for the holidays yet?

It’s been a couple years since the last time I audited a Charles de Kunffy clinic. He comes to Dressage Trainer’s barn pretty regularly, but I’ve been off focusing on not getting killed during the jumping phases. This time was kind of perfect though… SO was out of town on Sunday and I was up stupid early anyway thanks to the time change, so planting my butt in a chair for 6 hours to watch CdK at work was quite a treat. Below I’ve copied all the notes that I put into my phone over the course of the different rides. Hopefully you find some of them as helpful as I did! If you have questions just ask and I’ll try to remember the context/give more explanation.

Most warmups included Zig zag up centerline at the walk, leg yield left 4 steps, right 4 steps, left, right. With precision – always practice everything with precision.

Toe in (straight), think of touching the inner calf to the seam of the saddle pad.

Steady elbows, always perpendicular to the ground.

Alternate left shoulder and right shoulder back (NOT the hand, just the shoulders) in rhythm of the gait to connect the seat bone to the horse’s back and improve the shape of the topline.

Down transitions – be sure to stay connected in the outside elbow.

“Grow large” in your upper body in the sitting trot.

Alternate giving the reins (one and then the other) to verify correct connection and to give the horse the feeling that it can always go forward – never stuck in a rigid hand.

In half pass, the reins are only for alignment, do not pull or overbend the horse.

Horses are where their haunches are. (he said this about a million times)

Practice the things that are more difficult for the horse and reward any effort.

Think of dressage as physical therapy for the horse’s body, and slowly build on difficult exercises over time as they gain strength.

Riding without a purpose is totally stupid. (he is not a fan of mindless toodling)

Use constant transitions within the gait to supple the horse and increase rideability – you want to have many different trots to choose from. Don’t just trot around in one set tempo.

The best route to the perfect extended trot is not to practice extended trot but to practice 10 different trots until you have the suppleness and rideability to create whatever trot you want, whenever you want.

Think of the upper body as 3 vertical pillars – the spine and each arm.

Your center of gravity is a direct reflection of the horse’s center of gravity.

First posture, then transportation – which means first get the horse round and bring the hocks up to the bridle before changing gait.

For canter aid, think of bringing the outside knee back.

Always give the outside hand forward a bit in lateral work to allow the horse to travel.

We have to be careful not to disturb the horse’s posture or gaits with our hands. (He told almost everyone to work on quieting their hands – no bouncing)

Don’t stop a horse when it does an unexpected move – keep going and pretend it was intentional. Don’t start a fight. The horse will learn to stay more relaxed and obedient.

A croup high horse needs more development of the lumbar back to have enough strength for collection.

Collection always comes from the seat, never from the reins.

Take time but don’t waste time.

Energy and suspension come from the inside leg.

Teaching is repetition. If you don’t get what you want the first time simply re-organize and ask again, as many times as it takes.

Resistance = confusion. When horses offer resistance, usually it is because they are confused. Always consider how the horse is interpreting your aids and make sure you aren’t inadvertently giving conflicting cues.

In between all the fun stuff like finishing Stranger Things, catching up on Project Runway, and wondering if the gods are trying to send me messages via songs on the radio (seriously, if you’re on the verge of an existential crisis, nothing will push you over the edge quite so well as hearing Suit and Jacket six times in two hours), it was a very Dressage-centric weekend.

It kicked off on Saturday with a couple of tests at a show that was benefiting the local Thoroughbred rescue. They let you do whatever dressage tests you wanted for only $15 a pop, including USEA tests, so I was totally down with that. The venue was about 40 minutes from my barn and my tests were at 2:07 and 2:30, so I spent most of my morning watching TV and feeling very weird about the lack of urgency. At noon I went out and loaded him up, drove to the show, parked, got my number, and slowly got ready.

 

There really wasn’t anywhere flat or bigger than a 20m circle to warmup, so I did what I could and then just walked around the grounds. It was incredibly humid so Henry was miserable, but also quiet. We went in for our first test, Training A, and I felt like it was okay, but as usual he was tight in his back. I’ve really missed that test lately though… I love it way more than B for my horse. Stop using B, horse shows.

One person went in after me, but the other ride wasn’t there yet, so I offered to just go back in early. After a quick perusal of Test B in my CourseWalk app, up centerline we went again, much to Henry’s chagrin. The second test was maybe slightly less tight, but he was also grumpier and kept swinging his haunches in instead of going forward. BTW, I maintain my hatred for test B and it’s canter lengthenings on 20m circles at the middle letters (like why tho?), but it was fine. We were both pretty tired of dressage by the time we swung up centerline again and halted at the end.

Both tests scored a 63% with pretty much the same comments on both, which are nothing new. The judge thought he would be brilliant if/when he lets the tension out of his back… you and me and everyone else that’s ever worked with him, sister! The scores ranged from 5.5 for one particularly shitty transition to 8 for one particularly straight halt, with pretty much everything falling around 6.5. At least we’re… consistently average? The scoring seemed pretty on point to me.

But the most entertaining part of the day came while I was waiting for them to finish with my score sheets. I dragged Henry over to the little obstacle course that was set up behind the arenas so he could see all the “scary” stuff. There was much half-hearted snorting at first, but he gave in pretty quickly and let me drag him through all the different obstacles.

The only thing he wanted nothing to do with was the hanging, billowing curtain. Which makes zero sense because that was the most “normal” thing out there.

 

And I was back home by 4:30. Totally weird, to a) have so little stuff to pack, and b) be completely done in less than 5 hours. It was good to get some cheap easy time in the rectangle though, even if we didn’t exactly blow anyone away. Henry did maintain his streak of everyone thinking he’s a QH, though… two people asked what he was and seemed dubious when I said thoroughbred. Look y’all, he’s just ROUND with a big butt, okay?

And congrats to Chrissy E for winning the Two Socks Designs saddle pad giveaway!

I was pretty sad this year when I sold Henry’s PS of Sweden quarter sheet. I mean… it didn’t fit him anymore since he decided he’s a beefcake, and the attachment method that it had didn’t really work with monoflaps, but I loved that thing. It was wool and it was pretty and it was a discontinued model. Alas, it’s gone now, and that leaves me in need of a new quarter sheet.

Shockingly (insert heavy sarcasm) I’m really picky about what I want.

1) I don’t do fleece on a horse at all. So no fleece or fleece lining. I have a slight preference for wool but a waterproof nylon would be good too. Not super crappy thin acrylic wool though. Blech.

2) It cannot be hideous. I don’t do plaid. Or neon. Navy or black would be my preference.

3) It has to be removeable while riding, so I can’t do the ones that go completely under the saddle.

4) It has to work with a monoflap. While I loved the attachment design of the PS of Sweden, the attachment points were too high to work unless you had a dual flap saddle. Of course, this means that most of them will have to go over my legs, which I don’t love but can live with.

5) I’m cheap, and I only use a quarter sheet like 10 times a year, so I’m not looking to spend a lot of money.

Are we having fun yet???

There is a Horze one that is $40 that would probably work, but I have yet to come across anything of the Horze brand that I would consider to be good quality. Granted, I don’t use a quarter sheet that much so it might be fine? The Z is hideous but still a thousand times better than if they spelled out HORZE, so I could probably live with it. It claims to be “water resistant” but not waterproof. But do I really want to give my money to Horze?

And then Riding Warehouse has this one by Bucas on sale for $70, which is of similar design and materials but I’m guessing probably much higher quality given the brand. It says it’s waterproof. I like giving my money to RW.

Riding Warehouse also has this little waterproof nylon one for $42. Super basic, nothing fancy, and it doesn’t say a brand name, but I like the price. And RW has a good return policy, if it sucked.

Centaur makes a “climate control” exercise sheet that is supposed to have good breathability, but I’m not sure that I’m super enthused about spending $80 on something that essentially looks like a giant saddle pad.

Or I could just say screw it and buy the Back on Track exercise sheet when they do their Black Friday sale, which would make it like $110. Because who needs money anyway? I know that Henry likes Back on Track stuff though, and they’re well made.

Are there any other magical quarter sheets out there that fit my criteria that I haven’t seen yet? Anybody have one of the above and love/hate it? I’m so uncharacteristically indecisive on this one.