Month: August 2019

Considering that I can be a bit unorganized and a natural procrastinator, I freaking love planning these horsey Europe trips that have become a thing. Our 2015 trip required very little planning on my part, as we mostly just tagged along with someone else, but our 2017 trip was solidly on my shoulders. And I was kind of proud of myself for that one, I felt like we crammed a lot into a week. We did, really, covering 4 different countries, thousands of miles in a car, attending Bundeschampionate, and managing to see dozens of stallions. It was great. Naturally though, this time we’re upping the ante even more, fitting in a 5* event, a young event horse championship, a stallion show, a foal show, two countries, and at least 4-5 farm visits. In a week.

My head has been spinning a little bit, trying to figure out the logistics of all this, but it can definitely be done. There are planes, trains, and automobiles (and possibly even boats and buses) involved. This is definitely not a leisurely vacation… we’re on a schedule. I mean, who wants their vacations to be leisurely, anyway? So many ponies to see, so little time.

The Burghley side of the trip is the easiest. Well, ok… I’ve proven in the past that I’m a little bit dumb about trains so hopefully we don’t get lost on the first morning. We go from Gatwick airport to St Pancras in London, walk across the street to King’s Cross, and then get on another train to Peterborough. Bobby is meeting us at King’s Cross, so lord only knows what kind of shenanigans will ensue after that. Hopefully we at least make it to our Peterborough apartment.

We have to take the train back and forth from Peterborough to Stamford every day to get to Burghley, only about a 10-15 minute ride, then walk about a mile from the train station into the show grounds. There will be a lot of walking during these first few days (add that to the list of “types of transportation” we’re implementing), which is good since we’ve already plotted out all the ice cream shops near our apartment and made plans to visit the fudge vendor and cheese vendor at Burghley. Priorities.

The Burghley days themselves are relatively simple… day 1 is for shopping, watching dressage warmup, and sneaking some peeks at the XC course. Day 2 is the young event horse finals and the stallion show. Or I guess most people will be over in the other ring watching dressage but ugh no thanks. We’ll be watching the baby horses instead (like any self-respecting psychopath, I have already looked up the pedigrees of all the entrants). Day 3 is XC day! They posted teaser drone footage of the course and it’s basically a video montage of all the shit I would never jump in my entire life, because while I’m crazy, I don’t think I’m that crazy. But hey I can’t wait to watch a bunch of other lunatics jump it. There are so many Americans entered this year!

So that half of our trip is pretty much already done and set. We’ve got plane tickets, train tickets, Burghley tickets, and the apartment is paid for. We’re skipping Burghley stadium day and instead using it as our travel day instead. We go from Peterborough back to London, and then across to France to start the second leg of our trip. That will also be when we part ways with Bobby and he goes home. Bye Felicia. I haven’t quite decided exactly how we want to get across yet… still weighing all the options and reading all the fine print and comparing costs. We’re only 2.5 weeks out at this point so, uh, clock is ticking. I have to wonder though, as I’m reading through details about documentation requirements, how the hell did people plan trips like this before the internet? I would have been screwed trying to do this back then.

Anyway, the following 2.5 days will be spent driving around the Normandy area of France, looking at horses. We’ve got 4-6 stallion stations to visit, and a foal show lined up to attend with our friend Milena. I’m really really REALLY hoping to go meet Mighty Magic this time, although I haven’t heard back from his owners yet. Y’all know I’m not above a little bit of friendly stalking.

The France side of things is definitely still a bit up in the air as far as schedule goes. I have to figure that out and eventually look at hotels in whatever random middle-of-nowhere places we might end up at the end of the day. My goal is to make at least one of those overnight stays happen in a castle. Because CASTLES. This part of the trip might be a little bit more “by the seat of the pants” depending on when we can go look at all these stallions. Ultimately though, it’s pretty much just 3 days driving around the Normandy region, looking at horses. I can think of worse ways to spend 3 days, even if the schedule-obsessed side of me gets a little anxious about the idea of not having every hour mapped out in advance.

Then there are all the other little things that still need to be done, like deciding what to pack (England in September… LOL), notifying my phone carrier and credit card, figuring out where I want to do the money exchanges, etc etc. Let’s not even talk about the Burghley trade fair, which is rumored to be the best shopping of any 5*. I’m taking a relatively small suitcase so that I hopefully can’t get myself into too much trouble, although I do have my eye on a couple things that are cheaper there than here.

I have another week or so to get all this stuff ironed out, then I’m barnsitting for a week, then we leave a couple days later. Which also means I have to figure out some show entries before I leave, because the fall season starts while I’m gone and barrels right into full swing as soon as I’m back. Things are about to get a lot busier around here! (thank goodness, I’m so bored y’all)

Tuesday was opening day for FEH Championships! I have not sent in my entry yet, because I’m not really that into tempting fate, but I did notice there are a lot of changes this year compared to last. Have I ever mentioned how convenient it is that they got a Central championship the exact same year that I had a horse at the right age to start participating in FEH? We’ll pretend that was on purpose. Thanks everyone.

Last year the show was at Texas Rose, a really nice venue, but a bit far from me at 4 hours each way. Granted, this is Texas… everything is far. We drove up the day before and stayed overnight. But this year the show is being held at Haras Hacienda, the Real Fancy place where Presto did his qualifier. It cuts my drive in half, since Haras is only 2 hours each way. That technically makes it possible to just haul in for the day, rather than have to come the day before and stay overnight. Which is a good thing, since prices went up this year.

USEA cut some of their FEH funding this year, so the increased fees are not a surprise. Entry fee plus starter fees for central Championships are now $210 for yearlings and 2yo’s, $285 for 3yo’s, and $310 for 4yo’s. As much or more than a regular horse trial entry fee. My last Prelim entry was $280, for example. The costs associated with running the FEH Championship are crazy, and the number of competitors isn’t high enough to cover it, so I completely understand the increase in fees. I do wonder if it will deter people from participating in the program altogether, though. There’s no easy solution to that one. It’s tough to get sponsorship for stuff like this in America, where we’d rather go import horses than buy (and promote) what’s being bred and raised here.

By hauling in for the day and working out of the trailer, I’d only have to pay a $30 grounds fee as opposed to a $65 day stall or $85 overnight stall plus $25 muck fee. It will make for an early morning and long day for both of us, but we’ve done it before. It’s also on a Thursday which is kind of a bummer because it means a day off of work. Between the entry fee and the grounds fee plus a $35 health certificate and the $50 handler fee (um, yes, you can bet your sweet ass I’m hiring Martin again, best decision ever) it’s shaping up to be an expensive 5 minute in-hand class. Especially for a horse that isn’t for sale or destined to be a FEH superstar. But, hey… he’s only 2 once, right?

Presto is actually looking pretty good right now, despite being in yet another growth spurt. The barn owner has been trying real hard to get his ribs covered a bit more, and she’s done as good a job as I think is possible short of tubing lard directly into his stomach (… is that an option? Asking for a friend…). The fact that he’s in a not-that-ugly stage makes me nervous that he’s gonna go full blown Giramoollamapaloosa right before Championships, because he rarely stays looking good for long.

At this point now we just have to keep him in one piece and try to minimize the various scrapes and bumps that are neverending. He constantly looks like he lost a fight with a weedwhacker.

I also have to decide which browband to show him in – his green and navy Boy o Boy Bridleworks or his swoopy spiked punk rock one from Dark Jewel Designs. His bridle is kind of barely fitting him these days, especially in the crown area, and he’s already pushing the limits of the Boy o Boy browband (which is freaking HORSE SIZE, what the hell, Presto!). The top half of his head is huge, and it’s certainly not because he has a big brain.

I also noticed after I snapped the browband pictures that in the month or two since I last put his bridle on him, he’s grown even more, and I need to lower everything a couple holes again. So uh, ignore that part. How is his head even still growing? It’s big enough.

Which browband should he wear for FEH champs? I’m on the fence.

If you spend any amount of time walking courses with other people, it seems like everyone has certain fences they like and certain fences they don’t like. Sometimes there’s a good reason for it, like perhaps you tried to stick your face through a rolltop once or you fell in a ditch and thought they may as well just go ahead and bury you in there. Other times there doesn’t have to be a real reason, it’s just a natural aversion.

Bobby, for instance, hates Trakehners. He can’t even look at one. Weldon’s Wall’s too. Basically anything with a ditch you can end up in, he’s not on board with it… can’t say as I blame him. I think he actually ended up in a ditch once, but I don’t remember the whole story.

If you walk the course with me, you’ll notice there are certain things I really don’t make eye contact with. While I don’t mind trakehners, like Bobby I really don’t like Weldon’s Walls. Horses tend to jump them great, but there’s something about combination of the width, the height, and the depth that has me wanting to vomit.

The other thing that I hate the most, always, unequivocally, are the big square tables. Especially with a square front edge. I can’t help it, I always imagine a horse catching a knee and flipping over it. Also they tend to be stupid wide, which my stomach still has a bit of trouble processing. For some reason adding brush to the top of it does make me like it more though, hoping it will help encourage a little more lift, even though it makes it look even Stupid-er Big-ger than it already was.

Those aren’t the most logical jumps to hate, really. Horses tend to jump them both really well, and you can just keep galloping forward to both and jump them out of stride. There’s nothing technical or tricky about either of them. My brain knows this, but it still doesn’t stop me from hating them. Logic doesn’t apply.

Also not the biggest fan of upbanks after I tried to kill myself on one at Chatt. I feel like pretty much everyone has a “falling up the bank” story sooner or later. I would rather jump down a bank a few dozen times than jump up it once, to be honest. I still clearly remember the show when there were 3, count em THREE, upbanks on course. Shudder.

For stadium, I cringe hard every time I see a big square oxer as the first fence, especially if it’s off of a long approach. Come on guys, I have a hard enough time with stadium already, throw me a bone.

On the flip side, there are certain jumps that I really love, also probably for no real logical reason. You can make a rolltop as big and wide as you want, and I’ll still jump it. I dunno why but that nice curved top just seems so inviting – in contrast to the sharp ugly death edge of a square table.

I also really like anything with a dropped landing.

If the ground falls away quickly on the landing side, or if the landing side is significantly lower than the take-off side, I love it. I have no actual reason for this except that I think they’re are super fun. It’s like WHEEEEE jumping down into the abyss. Extra bonus points if you’re landing in water, because splashing. Duh. Same goes for jumps IN the water.

I like brush too, because I can say to myself “the brush doesn’t really count” and ta-da, the jump is instantly smaller.

What do I like in stadium? I dunno, whichever one is the last freaking jump.

What about you? What types of fences do you love, and which ones do you want to burn to the ground (not that I’ve ever actually imagined doing that to a Weldon’s Wall or anything…)? H/J people, this totally applies to you, too. Let’s talk about how not logical our brains are!

Eventers – we are an eclectic bunch. Spend a day standing out in cross country warmup and you’ll see every color of the rainbow, sometimes all on one horse, and probably at least a little bit of glitter. Coming from h/j-land it took a little while for my eyeballs to get used to this, but now I can’t help but appreciate it. I’m a firm believer in the “this is supposed to be fun” aspect of horse showing, and if decking yourself out in head to toe hot pink for XC makes you even a little bit happier, I say go for it. It might not be to my own personal taste, but you have to appreciate the individuality of it, especially in a sport that is otherwise so traditional and boring. Plus, like… if we’re being forced to do dressage and stadium, I fully believe that we’ve earned the right to wear whatever the fuck we want when we get to cross country and are galloping at solid fences.

I’m a much more boring person when it comes to color, with a deeply ingrained love of navy, but I’ve tried to inject at least a modicum of fun into it. Like, you know… little bits of yellow. Give me some credit, that’s a lot for an aesthetically dull person. Nothing makes my heart happier than a nice crisp, clean, contrasting navy and white. Just like half of the entire eventing population these days, apparently. So I added the little touches of yellow to at least try to be 5% different from the masses.

While I don’t think I’ll ever break from my love of a relatively sedate color scheme (Presto’s colors are navy and dark green, so…), one “out there” thing that I’ve always secretly kind of liked are pompoms on XC helmet covers. I don’t know why, I can’t even explain it, but there’s just something about a pompom that says “I’m here to party”. They were pretty popular way back in the day, and while they never really seemed to go out of style in the UK, you don’t see them here very much anymore.

I’ve always kind of thought that there are two unspoken rules for pompom wearing:

1) you must be under the age of 15.

or

2) you must be a mothafuckin badass.

I have a few friends that rock the Pom and they are most decidedly the latter. They’re are definitely 100% here to party AND they don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. They’re serious about what they’re doing, of course, but they never take themselves too seriously. Those are the people I want to hang out with, almost without fail. Is it the Pom that does it, or is that particular personality type just attracted to the Pom? Is there a club that I don’t know about? How do I apply for membership? Is the first rule of Pom Club that you can’t talk about Pom Club?

I admittedly have serious doubts about whether or not I am cool enough to rock the Pom. A unicorn stock tie, sure. No one can really see that. But a pompom… that’s some next level shit. Everyone can see it. From real far away. You gotta be super secure about your badassery as a person if you’re gonna rock one of those as an adult, because there is nothing subtle about it. But lately I’ve stared with increasing jealously at other people’s Poms, and blurted out a weird and I’m sure exceedingly creepy-sounding “I LOVE YOUR POMPOM” anytime I see someone wearing one.

Although I’m still waffling on a bit on whether or not I can actually pull it off, Trainer did grant me official permission to wear the Pom. I have it in writing, so is that enough to get me into Pom Club or do I need more references?

And THEN, once you decide that you ARE brave enough to let your freak flag fly and wear the Pom, how do you pick one? Do you go for a small one or a big one? A yarn one or a fur one? How the hell do you pick a color?

They even make helmet covers with changeable poms, so you can switch it around depending on your mood, or even take it off entirely if you wuss out. This is the most attractive option to me, although they all come in color sets and I don’t like any of the sets. Still, I’m sure the idea could be easily modified for a DIY version of changeable poms with my existing helmet cover.

I’m not very cool, but am I cool enough to rock the Pom? I don’t know. Jury’s still out. But, um… anyone know where I can find a Pom Club application?

Well guys, if I still did the hunters I’d officially be an older amateur today. Ok USEF does ages differently, not on actual birthday, but still. Luckily eventing gives it’s age groups way better titles, and on different ages, so I’m still a few years away from my “Master” title. Which, btw, seriously h/j y’all should adopt our age group terminology, MASTER sounds awesome. Anyway, its a weird age. I’m now closer to 40 than I am to 30. I’ve been an adult for half my life. That’s baffling to me, because sometimes I still find myself looking around for an actual adult.

I’m also lining up some relatively life-altering plans at the moment, ones that will change my horse situation and my living situation alike. It’s a really good opportunity for me, and I think will help lead to a lot more “adultier” things down the road, especially from the financial aspect. It’s really exciting, we’ll talk about it eventually. Well ok it’s a little overwhelming and daunting right now, because there’s a lot to do, but… it’ll be good. I’m going to be cleaning out my entire house over the next couple months, so brace yourselves for lots of stuff for sale or giveaway.

Since it’s Monday, that means a work day for me. It’s not even fun to play hooky on your birthday and go do horse things when it’s hotter than the 7th circle of hell.

So, no real riding today, but I’m definitely at least going to go give the boys some treats (I’ve been saving their Snacks 5th Avenchew donuts for a special occasion, why not today?) and hose them off. August in Texas is really boring.

I did get to spend lots of time at the barn this weekend though, so that counts for something. I got there early so that it was… slightly less hot… and rode Henry, gave baths, doctored Presto’s nasty ass (literally), and gave more baths.

Presto’s hematoma is (KNOCK ON WOOD) looking good. We were thinking at the end of last week that we might have to put a drain in, but the beauty of living on the vet’s property is that he can walk out to the barn every morning and make sure the little cut is still open, and massage the fluid out. Presto doesn’t seem to care, so it only takes a minute. He’s had to reopen it a couple times, but every day there is less and less fluid, so that’s a good sign. I wash it every day and massage more fluid out myself, which is relatively satisfying. The hematoma is only about the size of a fist now.

Last week I put some pebbles into plastic jugs and hung them in his stall as toys. I wasn’t sure he’d play with them, since he totally ignored a jolly ball, but boy oh boy. He stands there for hours and shakes and bites and tosses those things. I figured putting pebbles in there might make them loud enough for him to actually like them, since he’s into MAXIMUM CHAOS (man, I really missed a naming opportunity there…) and I was right.

Thank goodness you can’t really hear them that well over the noise of the fans or the barn owner might want to kill me by now. It’s kept him busy though on these hot afternoons when he’s stuck inside. I might need to keep collecting jugs though, because I have a feeling he’ll destroy them all relatively quickly. And I did end up having to tie them a bit lower, because he learned how to throw them over the stall wall and scare the shit out of the minis in the stall next to him. I think he likes to watch them scatter.

Henry did some flatwork on Saturday and got to jump a little on Sunday, plus he consumed an entire bag of carrots in 2 days. He’s happy. He’s really eager to work and feels fantastic, so I’m kind of itching to get back to our regular schedule. But… he’s also not handling this extreme heat very well in the afternoons/evenings, so we’ll keep waiting to actually do anything “for real”. I’m ready to fast forward to September.

I hope it’s less hot wherever you are!