I am a strong believer in the power of genetics. Obviously. Otherwise it would be kind of dumb for me to breed or be so obsessively interested in pedigrees and bloodlines. While we haven’t gotten particularly far along in equine genetics, we do know that certain traits are heritable, or at least seem to be more heritable than others. Here are a few studies if you’re interested in nerd things:

http://www.hanoverian.com/ludwigherit.html

https://thehorse.com/110473/its-all-in-the-genes-horse-traits-and-heritability/

https://beva.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/evj.12196

If you really want to lose a couple days, there are studies out there covering the heritability of everything from facial hair patterns to OCD to cribbing to speed. Go to town.

Obviously many breeders and breed associations are obsessed with this. The goal is to make superior horses, generation over generation, and data can certainly be essential to that. Most registries track the offspring closely, assign breeding values to stallions, and even make handy dandy charts to show how a stallion’s offspring tend to trend as far as size, gaits, foot shape, back length, hock angle, etc. While nothing is heritable all the time, I do believe that a lot of things are highly heritable, and some stallions (and mares) are more prepotent for certain traits. A lot of people base a lot of breeding decisions based off of that theory, me included. Looking at the trends among the offspring is much more valuable to a breeder than looking at the stallion himself – you want to know how he produces, what traits seem most heritable. That’s the important part.

Of course, we also know that getting all the necessary traits for success into one package is a tough thing to do. The horse can have all the speed in the world, but if it doesn’t want to run, it won’t be a successful race horse. It could have gaits like Totilas, but if it doesn’t have the brain to withstand the pressures of the job, it probably won’t be winning any medals. Or if it doesn’t stay sound, or if it’s ridiculously hard to ride, etc etc. There’s also the flip side, where the horse might not be particularly talented, but it loves to work and is easy to ride and wants to do a job. Many horses live somewhere in that area. But the truly tip top horses… they tend to have a lot of those qualities combined into one horse.

The recipe for success certainly isn’t as easy as breeding a tip top horse to another tip top horse. Zenyatta’s foals are good examples of that. These traits, while definitely carrying a heritable tendency, just don’t come through all the time, or even most of the time. And to make things even more complicated, there are certain individuals that seem to either seriously out-produce their own quality or seriously under-produce their own quality. It isn’t at all uncommon for a relatively mediocre performance mare to become an absolute tip top producer. Breeding is hard, and relatively unpredictable, at least from our current understanding of genetics.

Like I said earlier though, I do believe that heritability, or at least some genetic tendency, is generally a relatively reliable thing. I become even more convinced of that when I watch JB and Presto at play. JB, the yearling, is very well bred for dressage. He doesn’t quite have the big flashy movement yet, but his natural balance is quite impressive. I have watched him do more textbook perfect canter pirouettes than I can even recall at this point. He’s naturally much stronger behind and across his topline, and has much more natural “sit” ability than Presto does. Which makes sense. Presto is bred to do this:

It’s really interesting to watch them, because they both love to run and buck and roughhouse and all the things that babies do, but their natural predispositions – their purposely bred genetic tendencies – definitely come out. JB’s balance. Presto’s boldness. They’ll be galloping together and then all the sudden Presto will veer down and zip past the edge of the pond, or jump down the bank, or leap over the ditch. He likes the more fun “offroad” path and aims for it on purpose. JB tends to always decline those options, instead choosing to redirect himself to a less risky path, probably throwing in a lovely lead change in the process. I can watch them forever and be endlessly fascinated by it, theorizing on why and how they’re wired to react the way they do. Most of it makes a lot of sense.

I chose Presto’s sire specifically because of the rideability and seemingly natural cross country prowess of all the offspring I’ve seen. He appeared to have a relatively high tendency to produce whatever qualities combine to contribute to success in that phase, particularly with amateur and junior riders. Of course, I do believe that the mare is a, probably the, crucial part of the equation, so I went with a mare that had similar qualities too. Watching Presto now, as he shows me some natural predisposition to his future job, I become even more sold on just how heritable all of these things can be. Certainly, a lot of it is “nurture”, but you can’t discount the basic influence of what we breed into their nature.

I can’t wait to see what scientists keep learning about all of this as we move along and our understanding and technology increases. I’m relatively convinced that there’s a genetic factor to almost everything, maybe even the things that seem anomalistic to us now.

Taking care of your own horses 24/7 definitely gives you a different perspective on them, and you start to learn some weird things. Particularly when cleaning their stalls and picking up their poop day in and day out. Like for instance, I came to notice that Presto’s turds are consistently small for a horse his size, like for real they look more like pony poops. Which led to a closer examination and determination that he has, well… a tiny butthole for a horse his size.

Seriously I don’t know why you people keep coming to this blog.

Anyway.

Aside from such earth-shattering revelations as tiny buttholes, I’ve also become keenly aware of and interested in their stall-keeping habits. Right now the horses are out for about 12 hours and then inside for about 12 hours. They have nice size stalls with runs attached off the back, so they’re free to come and go between the two spaces as they please. It seems like most of the horses prefer mainly pooping outside and peeing inside, which is nice. Easy to clean. Sometimes they’ll have one or two piles inside, but nothing major. Henry and Presto, however, are polar opposites at extreme ends of the spectrum.

Henry is very much a “poop where he’s standing” type of guy. He doesn’t seem to give it any thought, he just shits wherever he happens to be at the time. There could be 5 piles in his stall in all different spots. Or they could all be piled in one corner. Or he could have mulched it all up into soup. Or maybe it’s all outside. Every day is different, depending on how he spent his night. He seems to give zero shits about laying in poop and has zero motivation to “keep his room clean” so to speak. His is always the dirtiest stall and always takes the longest to clean. You just never know what you’re going to find and where.

Presto, on the other hand, is the opposite. In the entire two months that they’ve been coming inside at night, he’s pooped in his stall a grand total of twice. His poops are almost always relegated to the very end of the run, spread in a semi-circle next to the fence. Usually he has one pee in his stall, in the exact same spot every day, and he never lays in it. He uses hardly any shavings and it takes maybe 4 minutes to clean his stall and run.

It was kind of surprising to me to find that he’s such a neat stall horse. He’s not a clean horse otherwise, in fact he rolls at the edge of the pond every single day thus always has mud clinging to him somewhere. His mother was a pig in her stall too, so I have no idea where he picked up this inclination. At previous barns where he didn’t have a run, he wasn’t very neat, and often walked everything into a mess when he got bored. Something about having two spaces (and more space) makes him happier I guess?

With work and my long commute and barn stuff, my days become a balancing act of trying to fit everything in during daylight hours, so the less time I have to spend cleaning stalls, the better. Thus Presto, who always has the cleanest stall of the four, always wins the unofficial Stallkeeper award. If you think about it, it kind of fits.

The whole “I’ll shit where I want and you’ll pick it up because that’s your job” attitude is very Henry. And the desire to please the human and do the good boy thing is very Presto. I’ve found myself pondering this often when I’m cleaning stalls; how weird it is that each horse’s poo habits fit so perfectly with their personality? Obviously the horses aren’t thinking “I’m gonna poop outside because the human prefers it” or “screw her, I shit where I please”… that’s not how their brains work at all. Yet somehow their habits do end up matching their basic personality anyway.

And then I was listening to a book about FBI profiling, and I was thinking maybe you could build a psych profile on a horse based solely on it’s stall keeping habits. Thinking of the four I take care of, you totally could, and you’d be pretty spot on. Perhaps this is a book idea in the making? Could you tell your horse’s psych profile from it’s stall? All this time people have been using whirls to attempt to read personality, but maybe instead we should be gazing into their dirty stalls.

Yes, these are the kind of ground breaking topics I ponder when I’m cleaning stalls. You could probably profile me based on that, too… tiny buttholes and horse personality profiles…

Despite having been out at the new place for about 4 months now, I haven’t had much opportunity to really explore the area. First it was still super hot, then Henry was lame for a while, and it just didn’t happen. But now (knock on copious amounts of wood) Henry is back in regular work again, and we finally got the chance to do some poking around.

There’s a boarding barn pretty much right across the main road from us that recently opened, and they’ve got a covered arena, a decent size outdoor arena, and a lot of land. Fun fact, Sadie did her very first little show there as a 3yo literally a decade ago when the farm was under a different name and management, but I hadn’t been back since then and didn’t remember a whole lot about it.

Bobby mentioned wanting to go trail ride somewhere, so I figured this could be the perfect opportunity to go check out the farm. I’ve been following on facebook and it looks like they’re set to make some improvements, including clearing more trails for conditioning, adding some XC jumps (particularly ditch/bank/water), and putting in a rider gate right across from the stop sign at the end of our road. That would make it all of a 200-300 yard ride to get from our gate to their property. Considering I want to spend most of Presto’s first year under saddle just hacking him out and trail riding, easy access to 80 acres would be a big boon. Plus it would give me a bigger space to do Henry’s conditioning work, or just get him out for a change of scenery. Naturally, I would like to be best friends with these people.

So I made an appointment for us to hack over and ride out there on Sunday. Bobby trailered over to our place, and we got on and rode over to the other farm. On the way over we just rode down to their driveway, which is about half a mile down the main road. It isn’t a particularly busy road but the cars do tend to travel fast… luckily both our horses are well-used to road traffic, so it wasn’t a problem. I wasn’t super clear on exactly what was their land versus other people’s land, but once we got there we figured out that the one big empty front field actually has a gate out onto the main road that spits us out really close to my road, letting us avoid that half mile walk down to the main entrance. Bonus.

The space kind of brought back memories of the fields we lost at the barn that closed last year. It’s slightly rolling, which I think will be super nice for my needs. These wide open spaces just make my heart so happy.

We managed to make almost a 2 hour hack out of exploring everything and poking around the farm. They’ve got great bones to work with, and lots of land, so hopefully their vision will come to fruition. It would be great to have an extra big place to go hack the boys, especially if they put XC jumps out there. What a luxury it would be to not have to drive 2 hours each way to do some cross country! There’s also talk of doing some schooling shows (there are already some western dressage ones – their discipline of choice – set for this year), which would also be amazing. In what world have I ever been able to be within riding distance of a show facility? It could be great for Presto especially, as I start putting miles on him.

The facility is offering a one year riding pass for $125, which would be a pretty great deal if I utilized the space even just once a week. I’m excited to see how it comes along and what else they add. Bobby and I definitely had a good time poking around on a gorgeous 70 degree day!

Well, we’ve made it to the end of the 2019 recap posts, and I’ve saved the best for last. It is, perhaps, the pinnacle accomplishment of the year. The crown achievement. The apex. My own personal zenith.

You see, Bobby has always been a hater of glitter. In fact, I’ve heard him refer to it as “the herpes of the craft world” on many occasions. He has always been the least fabulous, most khaki-wearing, plain black or white saddle pad type of guy in existence. Simple. Straightforward. No frills. It’s quite disappointing at times, to be honest.

Over the years I’ve certainly worked some of my magic on him a bit. Gussied him up, got him looking more modern with his turnout, converted him from synthetic to leather tack. I’ve even slowly but surely turned him into a bit of a shopper, as evidenced by the Burghley trip. Granted, the real reason he went and bought that hunt bridle was because Ben Way had one on one of his young horses, and Bobby is a total fanboy (Ben Way also had a Fairfax breastplate and I tried to talk Bobby into buying one so I could steal it, but apparently his devotion as fanboy ends somewhere well before the $350 mark). But whatever… I totally talked him into all the other things.

So I think when he switched over into Dressageland this year, he was a lot more primed and ready to accept their blingier culture. I mean, he still went to nationals in a Wintec (which is honestly kind of badass, don’t tell him I said that), but otherwise he looks super legit. He’s even got more than one show coat now, and neither of them is a women’s blazer (he will never live that down as long as I’m around).

But still, when I showed him the Punk Ponies glitter boots, I expected him to make some kind of herpes comment. Because they’re glitter. Bobby HATES glitter. Like he once threatened to tit punch me because I entertained the idea of sending him a glitter bomb in retribution after he sent me an anonymous package of gummy weens (which was not anonymous at all because I only know one asshole that would send me that).

So you could have knocked me over with a feather when he LOVED the boots. And then proceeded to order himself a set. And not only did he order himself glitter boots, he ordered them in NAVY. WHAAAAAT? Seriously, he has lived and died by black/white/red for the entire time I’ve known him. Navy, while absolutely the best color, is just as far out in left field for Bobby as glitter. NAVY GLITTER? Has he been body snatched?

He has seen the light.

And I mean… I don’t want to gloat, but…

I totally got Bobby into navy glitter.

Let me just revel in that for a second.

But it didn’t stop there. Not only did he buy the boots, but he also went back and ordered the matching navy glitter pad. Yep, that’s right, now he’s 1. Navy 2. Glitter 3. Matchy. Hell hath frozen over friends. There is no way I can top this accomplishment.

Indeed, he decided he liked the navy so much that he also found and ordered some burgundy glitter.

TWO sets of glitter. And neither are black. He’s even talking about coordinating browbands. Who is this person?

I don’t know what happened, or how it happened, but… this is a glorious moment in history, friends. Light a candle for the old Bobby, who swore that Halo didn’t wear boots or bonnets because he didn’t like them, owned one black saddle pad and one white saddle pad, and liked his plastic tack because he could hose it off. Now he’s a full-fledged tack cleaning, outfit-coordinating, matchy, glittery DQ. I mean, he still won’t buy things unless they’re a good deal or on sale, because I raised him right, but he DOES have a weakness for pretty things that didn’t exist before.

Maybe I should just retire. I can’t top this.

We talked about the best parts of 2019 and the more disappointing parts of 2019… now we get to the rest. Maybe these seem like totally random categories, but in case you haven’t noticed, I myself am pretty freaking random, so it fits.

Top 5 favorite products

This was TOUGH because I acquired so many things this year that I really love. I had to go with the ones that either made the biggest impact or sparked the most joy.

The Burghley hunt bridle – I found a few good deals at Burghley and this one is definitely my favorite. It’s the classy, classic hunt bridle that I’ve always wanted, and was so cheap I almost feel like I stole it. Henry looks dapper AF in it.

Dark sparkle boots – technically I have two dark sparkly boot items, Henry’s Cavallo boot and Presto’s set of open fronts. They both make me way happier than they should, but dammit if those dark sparkles aren’t fabulous.

Premier Equine merino wool pads – probably the most practical thing on the list, but I got these hoping they’d help with Henry’s rubbing issues and they’ve done that and more. They’re so reasonably priced, are holding up well, have superb airflow, are really pretty… I have no complaints about them and now own 4. I’d have more if they had other color combos that I liked (can we do hunter green with navy, please?). Possibly my #1 favorite product of the year.

Spikey browband and bonnet – okay again this is 2 things, but they’re both spikey so I’m saying it counts as one. I love spikes. Maybe it’s weird that I also like sparkles, but… it’s who I am. The spiked browband looks badass AF on Henry’s XC bridle, and Presto wore it at FEH Championships. The bonnet was really meant for Presto to wear eventually, but Henry has donned it a couple times. It’s my favorite bonnet. Plus they’re from two of my favorite small businesses.

Neue Schule bit – I know some people think these are overpriced and overhyped, and maybe they are, but all I know is that Henry loves his Tranz Angled Lozenge Eggbutt. Will it magically take your horse from llama to Valegro? Of course not. But for me it took a horse that was 75% happy in contact and made him 99% happy in contact, and much more relaxed in his mouth and topline. I’ve tried a lot of bits on him over the years and he’s by far the happiest in this one. Probably because he just likes to test my devotion by making me buy him expensive things.

Honorable mention to the shirt with Henry’s XC face all over it. God that thing is GLORIOUS, it deserves to be on this list for sure.

 

Top 5 most popular posts

The massive Black Friday sales post is always #1 and this year was no different, with 10k hits. So let’s toss that one aside and take the top 5 “regular” posts.

Let me make myself unpopular for a minute – ah SafeSport, you were the gift that really kept on giving all year. I have a feeling that will continue into 2020.

Why I don’t calculate the cost – explaining my complete aversion to tracking horse expenses.

It’s OK to just not – the art of doing what you actually want instead of what you feel like you should want

Neue Schule bit review – ha, see I’m not the only one obsessed with them

Gutted – when I found out the old barn was being sold to developers

 

Top 5 favorite podcasts

I spend a lot of time in the car, so audiobooks and podcasts were a big part of my year. Mostly podcasts, because audiobooks get expensive.

Buckoff banter – I’m sorry but the Brits are just waaaaaay fucking funnier than we are. This is the only horse podcast I listen to religiously, always on the day it comes out.

In the Dark season 2 – this was originally out in 2016 I think, but I just listened to it this year. And holy crap. Crime, race relations, scandal, conspiracy… it’s a horrifying story that’s got everything and will leave you outraged.

Believed – originally from 2018 but again I just listened to it this year. THIS is why we have SafeSport. THIS is how predators get away with it for so long. THIS is how many lives they can completely ruin in the process.

Hunting Warhead – another one related to child sexual abuse, the dark web, and what they’re really doing and thinking. The whole SS/GM thing set me off down this path and it was certainly enlightening. It’s next level bonkers to see into the minds of these people, but it was also really educational.

Root of Evil – a family does some digging and finds compelling evidence that makes them believe that a relative was the Black Dahlia killer. History and murder, two of my favorite things.

 

Top 5 favorite memes

Yeah this is silly, but look y’all, memes got me through some tough times this year. I love a good meme, I can’t help it.

Gotta have a baby Yoda meme

I can’t explain why but this one makes me actually laugh out loud no matter how many times I see it.

Valid coping mechanism

Sadly, the vet bills were high AF.

Sorry, I try to keep politics off of here, but this is hands down my favorite of the year, so…