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Sometimes I’m really grateful for that long drive home from a lesson or event. The ones that give us time to organize our thoughts and feelings, think about what happened, and reconcile things within our own head. Sometimes it’s a lot of positive, sometimes it’s more like wading and sorting through a lot of negative. This weekend was more of the latter.

On Saturday we had a Ride a Test, followed by a jumping lesson a couple hours later. I was looking forward to a fun day, getting some practice in with both the dressage and the jumping. I’d never done a Ride a Test before but the format was appealing, since of course I’m always looking for ways to improve my test riding, and wanted to get feedback from a new set of eyes. Henry warmed up a bit on the muscle (warming up around XC jumps does not inspire a ton of relaxation in this horse, but he kept a lid on it) then went in and did a mediocre but not awful test.

The feedback was not what I was expecting. What she wanted me to do was basically the opposite of everything that any other trainer or judge has said, and I really struggled. It was messy, and awkward, and I kinda felt like I had no idea wtf I was doing at all. Like a rank beginner that should go all the way back to the beginning and just start over. Do I even know how to trot? I dunno. There were some good moments, and a few tidbits that were really helpful, but overall I walked away feeling really confused and honestly a bit demoralized. And of course, since I internalize and over-analyze literally everything, I immediately tossed aside anything positive. Instead I gathered up every negative conclusion and gave them all full time jobs with free room and board inside my head.

I was so consumed with stewing over everything that I forgot to eat or drink, and got one course into my jump lesson before I was shaking like a leaf and feeling like I might pass out. As you can probably guess, the jump lesson was a bit of a shitshow too. My head wasn’t in it, my body was hating me, and my horse was needing a lot more help than I had to offer. We did one more course before calling it quits, and I walked back to the trailer feeling like a total idiot. I’ve spent a year building my confidence and thinking that maybe we really can do this Prelim thing, but suddenly I just felt like a fraud. Who was I kidding, trying to compete at this level? Maybe the old me was right, maybe I should just resign myself to hopping around Novice forever and learn how to be happy with that.

Yeah, you’re right, this spiraled REALLY quickly. Things got dark real quick.

I stayed broody for the first half hour of the drive home. I am acutely aware that I’m sitting on a different horse than most, and I also know that I’m at a major disadvantage not being in a full (or even part) time program with a pro. The day-to-day stuff is entirely up to me, I don’t get a lot of lessons, and I have a budget that limits me to fewer shows. What was I even thinking, trying to do this? Was it even fair to my horse? Did I even want it?

I sat there at a red light, clutching the steering wheel in a daze, lingering on that last question. I think sometimes in this sport we just “do the thing” and move along like everyone else does, without necessarily stopping to think about what it is we really want for ourselves and our horses. What I’m trying to do is hard for me… do I really want it? It was one of those moments where everything got really silent in my world, and time seemed to stop for a second.

The answer that came through the silence was yes. Not just a little whispering yes, but a loud resounding, shouting YES, from somewhere deep inside the hostage situation that was happening in my head. I do want it. I want it for the horse, I want it for myself, and I want it for all the horses that come after this one. I want to push myself, I want to learn, and I want to be better. Maybe I’ll never be that great, however “greatness” is defined, but I never want to be the person to just lay down and stop trying to be the best I can be. Even if it’s uncomfortable and confusing and frustrating sometimes. I don’t love this sport because it’s easy, I love it because it’s hard. I’m a lot of things, but I’m certainly not a quitter.

With that thought I felt re-invigorated. I decided that either I could let the day defeat me, or I could learn from it. Was I really going to let myself come that unglued over dressage, of all the things? Using what I’ve gleaned from the endless amount of sports psychology books I’ve been reading, I went through everything that happened that day, pulled out the pieces that I thought were helpful, and chucked the rest of it out the window onto the highway. It’s not a question of whether or not we can do this – I know we can. We’ve done it 3.66 times already (I’m totally counting the two Prelim phases of our P/T). Henry schooled great last weekend, even the bigger and harder questions. He’s confident and he’s happy. Our average dressage score at this level is 34. So while it could definitely be better, it can’t be THAT tragic. Letting myself feel so defeated was, well… overdramatic. I needed to get the eff over myself.

It’s a little bit embarrassing to share this, honestly. Things aren’t always sunshine and rainbows though, and I feel like it’s important to make that clear. I thought I was a little bit harder to rattle than that, a little bit tougher and thicker skinned, but I think after a really rough week at work, a lack of sleep, and a couple of less than great rides, I was ripe with vulnerability and it turned into the perfect storm. Clearly I still have a lot to work on, but, ya know… I’ll keep trying.

I also really enjoyed the LRK3DE coverage, and found myself moved a few times. It was just what I needed in that moment: some inspiration, some perspective, and some good examples of what true mental toughness really looks like. But more on that tomorrow…

 

 

It’s time for me to start buying tickets for my Burghley trip, thus it’s also time to sell some stuff that’s been accumulating for a while.

I can take Paypal or Venmo for payment. Shipping is not included in the prices, shoot me your zip (here or via my contact page or via facebook message) for an estimate. I am not organized enough to hold things for people, so whoever pays first is who gets it. Sometimes it takes me a few days to get things boxed up and shipped out, so if you need something quickly please let me know and I’ll make every effort to get it out ASAP. Once things are paid for I will mark them SOLD here, so if there’s still a price showing, that means it’s still available.

Le Fash Paulo Alto white shirt size Large. This is a sold out style, white with a gray and yellow floral fabric at the cuff and collar and mesh vent under the arm. Brand new with tags, pristine condition. $70

 

Schockemohle Carina Grip silicone full seat breeches, navy size US 28, brand new with tags. $130

 

Schockemohle Libra grip silicone knee patch breeches, tan size US 28, brand new with tags. SOLD

 

Tredstep Solo Grip full seat breeches white size 30, brand new with tags.  SOLD

 

Winston Equestrian breeches size 30, white with gray knee patches and gray/silver piping stitching around the waist and pockets. Some typical boot mark staining around the knees, not visible with boots on. Good condition, not worn much. Very similar to Tailored Sportsman or Pikeur Ciara. SOLD

 

Mrs Tutton’s (high end Australian brand) short sleeve navy and white pinstripe show shirt with navy pleather piping and collar detail. Australian size 12, so 36ish. – $35

 

Used Ego7 brown tall boots size 38 M/+1. Size chart is here. PLEASE READ THE FULL DESCRIPTION AND LOOK CLOSELY AT ALL PHOTOS. These boots have been well-worn and while they still have plenty of life left in them for schooling, they could use a couple of repairs. The interior lining of both boots has torn under the laces, more so on the right one. That boot will need an interior patch as there is currently a hole in the tongue. The right boot also needs a new elasticized lace, the current one is broken. My cobbler quoted me $25 for these repairs, but your experience may vary. I have replaced the zipper tab pull (just the pull tab was broken) on one boot. Zippers are sound. The sole, exterior leather, and inner leg E-tex material is in good condition, except for a small nick near the spur area on the heel of one boot. $100

Oh – and if you haven’t hit it up yet, Riding Warehouse currently has an additional 20% off their entire Clearance section (discounts automatically applied when you add items to the cart). There are some great deals to be had!

Today’s the day – the start of LRK3DE!!! It’s the first 5* of the year, and while I have major FOMO about not getting to go, that’s being slightly eased by the fact that Burghley tickets go on sale tomorrow. Still, I will be glued to the live feed as much as possible.

As a continuation of the “It’s in the Blood” series that I started last year, I really want to look closely at the horses at every 5* competition this year and see what kind of trends, if any, that we see. Just from the few young horse events and 3*-4* that I looked at last year, I already started seeing some commonalities, and also some things that tended to be a bit different in the US vs Europe. We’ll see if any of that holds true as I gather more data throughout the year.

We’ve only got 41 horses starting dressage at LRK3DE this year, since one horse was spun at the first inspection yesterday. Of the 41 starters, 11 (27%) are Irish Sporthorse and 10 (24%) are Thoroughbred. Those two alone cover more than half the field.

Of the 11 Irish Sporthorse entries, 4 of them are of traditional ISH breeding (TB and Irish Draught) while the other 7 have warmblood within the first four generations.

The average blood percentage (so the average amount of TB or Arabian blood that each horse carries) of the entire field combined is 65%. If you throw out all the fullblood horses and calculate the blood percentage, the average still comes in at 58%. Only 5 horses in the field have less than 50% blood.

20 horses (49%) have a minimum of one full Thoroughbred parent. 12 of those (29% of the field) have a full Thoroughbred sire. 24 horses (57%) have a full TB damsire.

12 horses (29%) competed in young horses classes (USEA’s Young Event Horse series or the FEI 6yo 1*/7yo 2* classes in Europe). I noticed that if the horse started it’s FEI career in Europe, it tended to have done some young horse classes. If it was imported before it began it’s FEI career, it likely hadn’t (with the exception of the 3 YEH grads, of course). Not a surprise considering that we don’t have age-specific FEI classes in the US.

I found 14 horses (so more than 1/3 of the field) that I could confirm were bred in North America, and 2 other “maybes”.

15 horses (37% of the field) have Holsteiner breeding within the first four generations, 13 horses (32% of the field) have Selle Francais breeding within the first four generations, and 10 horses (24% of the field) have both Holsteiner and Selle Francais within the first four generations.

While the overwhelming majority are Thoroughbred, Irish, warmblood, or some combination of such, there is one Welsh Cob x TB cross, one Connemara x TB cross, and one Arabian x TB cross in the field.

2 stallions are represented by 2 direct offspring each – Master Imp xx and Windfall. Master Imp is also the damsire of one other horse. Windfall is the sire of the only two Trakehners in the field.

The most commonly seen Thoroughbred ancestor is Mr Prospector – he’s present in the first 4 generations of 5 different horses. Other recurring Thoroughbred names are Seattle Slew, Danzig, Nijinsky, and Roberto, to name a few.

The Thoroughbred sire and 1985 Kentucky Derby winner Spend a Buck is the damsire of 2 horses – Cecelia and Indy 500. The horse that was spun at the jogs, Tactical Maneuver, also had Spend a Buck on the dam side of his pedigree.

And a kind of unrelated note but something I found while creeping endlessly around the internet scouring for pedigree information… Boyd has horse for sale out of Copper Beach’s dam and it could be yours for only 75k.

 

Who are you rooting for this year? I find myself without a clear favorite, so I’m mostly just hoping for a good safe competition for everyone. Well ok… maybe I’m rooting a little harder for the Thoroughbreds…

I was scrolling through a facebook group the other day when I came across a lady who clearly must have opened a time capsule from 20 years ago. She was selling an overgirth, a top hat, and a brass clincher browband. Ah, instant memories.

I was raised in the h/j world but made a brief foray into eventing when I moved to the east coast after high school to be a working student. That was… a very long time ago… 2001. While I only stayed in eventing for a few years at that point, I do remember buying all the things I just HAD to have to fit in. Like all those Polypads. Thick like a comforter, utilitarian, and sometimes even reversible. They still sell them, but I don’t even remember the last time I saw one in use. These seemed to go by the wayside when half pads got more popular (and custom fit saddles) but I have to admit, there’s still something about that “look at me, I’m riding on top of a literal pillow” look that I’m a little nostalgic for.

I also just HAD to have a navy overgirth (I’m not sure why, I was running Novice) because it was just SO COOL. And because back then I was head to toe navy and black. Yeah literally, my colors were navy and black. I’ve always been boring. That overgirth was badass though.

I think I used it a grand total of twice.

I distinctly remember though that the Saratoga wraps and porters were a right of passage that didn’t happen until the upper levels. Until then you went around in Woof boots, preferably with lots of colored tape. We’ve certainly come a long way in boot technology over the years.

I hit the eventing scene on the tail end of the petal bell boot craze, but I DO still remember the very distinct clackity-clackity-clack, and all the awesome color possibilities. I wanted some but never actually bought any. Remember how they buckled on? It was so clumsy.

I definitely had clincher browbands though, both brass and nickel. I’m relatively certain you weren’t allowed to participate without one. I have this framed photo in my office at work, pretty sure it’s circa 2002 or 2003. Clincher browband, poly pad, hunt cap, that awful pinney, a brown Kieffer dressage saddle that was literally like riding a slippery pancake… it is painfully retro.

Of course, having come from and then gone back to the hunter/jumper world, I remember a lot of their fashions from those day too. Like those plastic Ulster boots with the metal clinch tab closures. Those were THE JAM. I absolutely loved them.

I’m also pretty sure that every horse in the planet either went in a square pad with a fleece fitted pad over top of it, or a Beval pad (the HUGE, massively thick felt and sheepskin ones with the wither cutout- it’s on Jez in my retro dressage photo) on top of a square pad. I still see McLain in a square pad/fitted pad combo and it always teleports me right back to the 90’s every time.

I also remember when white rubber reins were the big trend. I LOVED them. Not really sure why, they turned dingy and yellow pretty quickly. And those big thick fleece girth covers that never effing stayed where they were supposed to, thus it became a constant game of keeping that thing in place while you tightened the girth. If you were real fancy you sprung for a full sheepskin one instead of fleece. I also remember when ALL of the fly bonnets had tassels and throatlatch strings. Which kinda matched the fringe on your custom Journeyman full chaps, which we wore over jeans even in the dead of summer. Why TF did we do that?

I sometimes find myself wondering which things we use now that we’re going to look back on in 20 years and think were so primitive or ridiculous. All of it, probably.

What are some of your favorite memories of the tack/apparel/equipment trends of yesteryear? Are there any items that take you right back to your roots, or any of it that you still own? What about stuff that you wish would make a comeback? I’m kinda still on the Polypad train…

 

I have a few random things to update on today and sat here forever trying to think of a clever title but couldn’t get any further than the fact that they’re all semi-unicorn related. My brain completely stopped working after that. So there ya go, enjoy your completely not clever but at least relatively descriptive title. I’m tired. How is it only Tuesday.

First of all, an update on our Unicorn virtual race. Bobby is getting his ass stomped. The end.

But really though, we’re both stupid competitive (or perhaps just stupid?) to the point where we might have killed ourselves a little bit last week. I found myself making laps around the neighborhood while carrying my mail, and speedwalking around the parking lot while waiting for a table at a restaurant. Did I abruptly leave my desk one morning to walk around the office complex because Bobby was doing the same while on a conference call? MAYBE. MAYBE I DID.

I logged 11 miles on foot within the first few days, but Bobby was still out in the lead. The morning after we got home from XC schooling I met my dad so we could go for a bike ride, since I’m a much stronger cyclist than I am a runner. Granted, it’s been like a year since I’ve been on my bike. What originally started as an “easy 10-12 miler” somehow morphed into a medium pace 23.89 miles. Because the only person I know who is more I will die before I quit than me is my dad. He just kept adding more, asking how many miles Bobby was at. My legs were kinda busted at the end, but it gave me a pretty sizeable lead. Bobby had also planned to go ride HIS bike on Sunday, but he chose to sleep in instead. Fatal mistake, my friend. Fatal mistake.

I don’t really have time to ride the bike during the week, since I’m at the barn every day, so I’ll keep plugging away with the walking and running and save the bike for the weekend. Bobby will no doubt be able to eat into my lead throughout the week, since he runs so much. He logged 4 miles last night but I clapped back with 3 this morning. I mean… I do have to let him catch up a little bit, to keep his spirits up. I’ve gotta keep him just close enough to let him think he might actually have a chance. He doesn’t.

Meanwhile Hillary is watching both of us kill ourselves to beat each other and has already called dibs on our horses. She’s smart. Be more like Hillary.

I had a few people message me asking which app we’re doing – it’s Yes.Fit, and they have lots of different races you can sign up for. Some are really short, some are a lot longer like the 121 mile Unicorn one, and all of them have cool medals and shirts. If you decide to sign up for one you can use code 7MzLFJU6 for $5 off. I have to admit, it’s a really fun group activity, if you’re really competitive and into self-torture.

On Sunday afternoon we all met up at the barn to go for a hack. Bobby had Cannavaro, Hillary had Dobby, and I rode Henry and ponied Presto. It was the baby brigade, for sure. This was going to be Bobby’s second voyage out to the field with Cannavaro, and he planned on trotting a few circles out there at the end.

But he was SO good, and SO quiet, not only did he trot, he also cantered and jumped! It was pretty freaking adorable, Bobby was grinning ear to ear. After 12 years of pretty much only riding Halo, it’s hard to get used to and learn to trust a baby OTTB, but Cannavaro just never puts a foot wrong. He’s a unicorn for sure, and it’s really fun to watch him and Bobby start developing a relationship. It really could not be a more perfect match.

And last but not least, in really exciting BABY unicorn news, Peyton is in foal to Ramiro B!!! This will be the second eventing foal for Willow Tree Warmbloods, and Peyton’s first. Ramiro B died at the end of last year but has left quite the legacy with a ton of upper level event horses (plus a few 1.60m jumpers thrown in for good measure) and a very high strike rate among eventing sires.

My favorite event horse ever, Ballynoe Castle RM, is by Ramiro B out of a mare that was 93% TB. Cooley Master Class (2018 Kentucky winner) is by Ramiro B out of an 88% TB mare. Cooley SRS (2nd at Badminton in 2018) is by Ramiro B out of a 70% TB mare. Peyton is full TB, so I’m pretty excited to see what this cross produces… in 11 months.

Horse gestation is way too long.