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I’m very late getting started with things this morning because SOMEONE either has an abscess or his leg is broken. Which diagnosis is more accurate depends on which of us you ask.

Considering Henry tried to kick me in the knee cap when I wrapped it with animalintex, I’m gonna say it’s probably not as broken as he insists it is. High drama. Always.

What I’m really after today though are some suggestions/input from the hive mind about something totally non-horse related (sorry) but I know there are a lot of spin bike fans out there so I’m hoping someone can point me the right direction.

I’m looking for some kind of desk or shelf that would attach to my bike that would allow me to set a laptop on it. I do my classes every morning on my phone and that’s fine, but I’d like to be able to sit on my bike and spin a little when I’m stuck in long boring meetings or falling down into an hours-deep rabbit hole on stallions (ok that’s horse related), and I need my laptop for that.

They make these little trays for Pelaton bikes, but I’m definitely far too horse poor (ok that’s also horse related) to own an actual Pelaton bike, mine is a cheap no-frills Amazon special. The handlebars of mine are shaped quite a lot different, they’re more sloped, so I don’t think the Pelaton one would set on them very well.

Anyone have any suggestions for something that might work with my handlebars that would allow me to set my laptop up on? I just need a little tray or shelf that hooks around them somehow…

Usually Mondays are my riding update days around here, but there’s not a lot to say about Henry except he continues to act 4 instead of 14. Since Presto left he’s the youngest horse on the property and I feel like he’s taking that to the extreme. The yeehaw was so real on Friday after we cantered over the natural ditch in the back that he came the closest he ever has to actually bucking me off. Like… I almost lost a stirrup. Nobody tell him.

We’ve been doing a lot of cavaletti exercises, and last week when we went in the arena after an overnight storm, he I guess… forgot… that the cavaletti were in the ring because he turned into a snorty spooky mess at the sight of the canter ones set up near the top.

I mean it’s kind of embarrassing to spook at the exercise you literally just did two days before, but ok. Once we walked up to it he was like “oh j/k I totally knew what that was, just seeing if you knew….”. Sure, Henry. Sure. I’m glad he’s enjoying himself at least. Once the hot weather hits he’ll be back to miserable and grumpy, so I won’t begrudge him some spring sillies.

Speaking of sillies…

I still don’t really have any particularly noteworthy Presto updates (he’s supposed to be doing something fun this week, so maybe in a few days) but he is indeed still alive and well and happy in Ocala. Settling into the busy bustling atmosphere of OJC has definitely been a thing, but… that’s exactly why I sent him. He’s getting his world rocked a little bit and learning how to deal. A local-ish to me trainer was there last week and happened to see him while walking past the barns so she took the above pic. Apparently he begs for cookies as soon as you walk up, so… yep that’s on brand. He spends his days snoozing in his stall, getting ridden, and begging for cookies, and spends his nights romping around giant pastures. Overall he’s doing a-ok I think.

Peyton is still holding in that hostage, no foal yet. She hit 340 days yesterday, but last time she foaled at 344. Maybe she’ll stick to the same pattern and give us an April Fool’s baby? That would be about right for these mares and their sense of humor. I’m very impatiently waiting for a baby already. Let’s get this show on the road, yes?

So, no baby pics yet but the new mare Vonhra did arrive at Willow Tree Warmbloods last night! Michelle said she’s even more stunning in person and will get some nice pics of her within the next couple days. I quite like her and think all of our endless internet stalking paid off, she’s a nice addition to the broodmare band.

I’ve been calling her Vee after Badminton’s Vicarage Vee, since Vonhra doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue or lend itself well to any good nicknames. We’ll see if Michelle thinks that fits or if she needs something different. But yay, new mare. WHO SHOULD WE BREED HER TO? Stallion shopping is almost as fun for me as the actual babies.

One more fun thing today: I’m hosting a giveaway for a $75 Corro gift card on Instagram so if you haven’t entered yet, don’t forget to do so! Y’all know how much I love Corro, and free gift cards are never bad. Plus I made Henry stand with Presto’s ball for the photo, which took some real doing, and he’s probably traumatized now. So… at least enter to make sure that all his suffering wasn’t for naught.

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Man I have REALLY missed my horsey related travel. I haven’t been on a plane since we went to Burghley in summer 2019 (thank goodness we did it then at least) and since we used to do 1-2 fun horse trips every year, I’ve really been jonesing. We’d planned on finally hitting Ireland last year with a Millstreet/riding/stallion viewing combo (a big horse show plus stallion/young horse viewing has come to be our preferred method ever since Bundes in 2017 – it’s definitely the way to do it) but of course covid derailed all that. At least it happened early enough to where all I’d done was spend hours plotting an itinerary but we hadn’t actually booked anything yet. The little airbnb cottage I had found though, y’all. Le sigh. It lives in my dreams.

It’s my style to try to get as much bang for the buck out of any horsey trip, hence putting horse shows and breeding stuff all together into one maximum bang-for-your-buck experience. If I’m getting on a tin can with a bunch of other people and being hurtled through space while spending a lot of money for the privilege, you can bet I’m gonna milk it for all it’s worth. So when I started thinking about planning a trip out to see Presto, the gears started turning. I mean, it’s Ocala… the potential is huge and it must not be wasted.

Of course, this is the worst possible time of year for my usual travel buddy Michelle. There are 6 mares due to foal starting sometime between ANY FUCKING DAY NOW PEYTON and late May/early June. Plus those mares need to be bred back, and Michelle does the majority of her own breeding work, which means a lot of ultrasounding and monitoring of cycles. She’s pretty much tied to the farm from March through June. Too bad, because she and I are really good at finding trouble any time we travel together, and we definitely enjoyed our last Ocala trip (one of the YEH/FEH symposiums in… early 2019 I think? That was a great travel year…).

But you know who else is an exceptional Trouble companion? Bobby. And you know who’s currently horse shopping? Bobby. Guess where’s a great place to go to look at lots of nice horses in one relatively small geographic area? O-freakin-cala.

I pitched my plan to him, which took about .00005% convincing on my part. April is Bobby’s birthday month, it’s extra easy to talk him into treating his’self anytime in or near that month. Plus like – who doesn’t want to go spend a few days trying horses in Ocala? Pffft. The idea sells itself.

We’ve been floating the idea for a week or so, while I dug through and looked at what dates would actually work for me. Bobby is already fully vaccinated but I don’t get my second one until the 10th, and I wanted to wait until after that. Looking at our two schedules, and Megan’s schedule, it seemed like the best bet was the following weekend. So yesterday we buckled down, starting hunting flights and rental cars and hotels, and started BOOKING SHIT.

And I have to give Bobby props (even if it pains me to do so, because it goes straight to his big overinflated head) he is a really useful person to travel with. He travels a lot with his husband so they rack up a ton of airline miles, and he has all kinds of special perks and memberships, plus hunting good travel deals is part of his job. He got us hooked the hell up with some flights, a discounted rental car, and a decent hotel at a great rate. Split that in half and, well, thanks to him this trip is costing me next to nothing. Well, except the pain and suffering that comes with having to deal with Bobby for several days. Pray for me. He farts in his sleep.

Jk, we’re gonna go find him a nice horse and then we’ll be even.

When those booking confirmation emails started to come through I got hella excited. It’s been SO LONG since I had a fun horsey thing like this to look forward to. So long since I’ve gotten to obsess about an itinerary, trying to figure out how to maximize every last minute. Plus I have like 36 vacation days to use and don’t want to end up losing 20+ like I did last year since we can only carry 5. I’ve only taken one day off in the past 6 months and I’m ready for a fun break. I’m excited to be going back to Ocala, and I’m for sure ready to see Presto’s crazy face again. I already started thinking about what to pack, because it’s not too early to start packing yet right? 3 weeks in advance seems totally reasonable.

The next step will be to start finding horses for Bobby to try, which is also super fun because I get to try to spend someone else’s money. My one true talent in the world! We’ve already got some plans brewing for other stuff too – we’re definitely gonna pack as much as we can into our long weekend. I can’t freakin wait. And just imagine the high quality blog fodder that should come out of the two of us idiots taking on Ocala together… comedy gold, surely. You’re welcome in advance.

Sorry not sorry about my lame rhymes. It’s just par for the course around here these days, what can I say.

Anyway… although I’m on a self-imposed spending chill (“freeze” is a harsh word, ya know? Chill seems better.) while Presto is enjoying his Ocala spring, that doesn’t mean I’ve stopped window shopping. Let’s be real, if I ever stop window shopping it probably means I’m dead. I’ve always been one of those people that loves to flip through a catalog, be it a hard copy or an online store. I just really like seeing what’s new and different, whether I like it or not. I will admit though that it’s gotten a lot less fun in recent years as my collection of stuff has built up to such a nice point that I just don’t really find myself needing anything that often. I’ve got a lot of variety in my collection, and some good quality. Things do need to be replaced sometimes though, and there’s always room for an upgrade, so… window shopping totally justified IMO.

Sometimes I see stuff that just captures my curiosity because it’s a new concept. Like the Cabasus Smart Boots.

These haven’t actually come out yet, and I’ve seen a “smart boot” concept before, with the western style Zebra boots that monitor temperature to prevent overheating under the boot. The Cabasus boots will supposedly have features more like the girth attachments we’ve seen, like speed, gait, acceleration, distance, jump analyzation, etc. It can also supposedly detect unusual movement patterns (if you leave the boots on the horse, obviously) like pawing that could be signs of trouble brewing, and send notifications to your phone. I’m not sure that it’s something I’d really utilize myself, but it’s an interesting concept for sure and would be fun to play with. I’ll be interested to see what they look like and how they work when they come out. Horse wearables are always fun.

The other thing I always love is an online configurator. The Mattes one has gotten me more than once, and playing with the helmet and custom boots ones are a fun pastime. Horse Pilot used to have one for custom coats, although they were relatively tame. I feel like anytime I come across a configurator for literally any horse item I fall into a black hole and emerge 30 minutes later in a daze. Things were no different with this Flying Changes one. They have SO MANY color and customization options, it’s unreal.

Of course, I need another coat like I need a hole in the head. I’ve got one in my closet I haven’t even worn yet. So… no new coats. No. Noooo. Back away slowly.

I’ve also really got to break the Epplejeck addiction. I’ve liked everything I’ve ordered from them, and I’m especially obsessed with the glitter tights I got in the last go-round. They’re stupid comfy and fit me really well, and I like that the glitter aspect is super super subtle. The navy is so dark that it almost looks black, and the only other color they make them in is… black… so it seems a little pointless to buy the black ones too. That doesn’t stop me from wanting them though. If nothing else it would be good to have a second pair, right? Just nod.

I also still peruse the Riding Warehouse “New Items” section on the regular. For, uh, research. Or science. Or whatever. They added a bunch of new LeMieux, which luckily I am immune to. Apparently the new sunshirt thing is patterns, which… I’m definitely also immune to. I think Kastel owes my eyeballs an explanation and apology for this one.

I’m not much a pattern person, I’ll admit, but that one seems particularly offensive. I DID notice a couple brands bringing back that ultra-90’s arm stripe though, which I am totally here for. Yes please. I will forever be loyal to my favorite decade. Except for maybe the bucket hats and the platform shoes. Arm stripes though, I’m in.

I admit that I DO actually like the sloth pattern that Pro Choice has come out with on a few items though. The colors are pleasing to my navy-loving eye and what’s not to like about sloths?

Riding Warehouse has it on a tote bag, a grooming bag, and a fly mask. I would buy this if my horses already didn’t have multiple fly masks each and if I didn’t already have multiple grooming bags. I mean, I’m not ruling out that I’ll buy it eventually anyway, but… not now, at least. There’s a unicorn print too but it’s lavender, which isn’t really my thing. Unicorns, though, I can almost make an exception for that. Almost.

Speaking of unicorn vibes, I also may or may not need this rainbow ombre dressage whip (which also comes in a short crop version and blue ombre or green ombre as opposed to rainbow).

It would match my rainbow box, ya know? Plus like… how could you possibly lose that thing ever. Do I need a dressage whip? No. Do I already own a black glitter unicorn-shaped whip? Yes, yes I do. Both of those facts are unimportant.

On a marginally more practical note they’ve got Mountain Horse pull on paddock boots in the clearance section right now, which DOES actually make my “trigger finger” a little itchy. I love my MH tall boots, and the price on these is really tempting. I don’t NEED new paddock boots though, having just bought new ones last fall. Still though. They have brown and black. My current ones are brown, so would black ones even count?

That Clearance section is maybe almost as dangerous as the New section… I’ve been eyeballing the clearance Anique shirts for so long that they’ve slowly sold out of almost every color in my size. Equal parts sad and relieved. They’re pretty shirts though, you have to admit, and 35% off is nice.

Honestly I think we should all just be impressed that the window shopping hasn’t led to any actual purchases. Look at me with that self-restraint. Kinda sad watching those FedEx and UPS trucks lumber right on past my house without stopping though. Miss you, boos.

At the rate I’m going through fly spray right now it seems much more likely that I’ll be having to stock up on essentials long before I ever get back to anything superfluous. Practicality is boring. Maybe they should put glitter in fly spray and I’d be more excited about it.

Anything fun out there that’s caught your eye lately?

There are certain perils that come along with living in Texas. It’s a little bit like Australia in that there are a lot of things that want to sting you, bite you, eat you, or stab you, whether they be animals or plants. For animals it runs the gamut from rattlesnakes (I’ve had a horse bitten by a rattlesnake before, it’s NO FUN) to scorpions to those giant disgusting freaky feral hogs. *shudder* The plant life isn’t always much better, with lots of mesquite and those stabby little sandburs that hurt like fuck, and of course cactus.

When you say cactus a lot of people picture the big tree-size ones you see out in the desert if you go further west. Here in this part of Texas we’re kind of at the point where the west meets the east. Drive a few hours west, you hit desert. Drive a couple hours east and you’re deep in pine forests. That means we have a mix of landscape and vegetation, which gives us this interesting juxtaposition of things like super rocky soil but also pretty decent pasture grass, or big oak trees but also cactus. Mostly a few different types of little ones, which grow here and there but aren’t particularly noteworthy or noticeable. The horses tend to be very smart about avoiding them, and aside from Presto accidentally jabbing a mesquite thorn into his head once (because of course he would) I’ve never really had a horse tangle with any of the stabby vegetation we do have.

Until yesterday anyway. I went out to get Henry and he was standing by the gait very pathetically, resting a hind foot but also looking very irritated. At first I thought it was the flies – they’re starting to come out in full force – but as soon as I got closer I could see the little chunk sticking into his leg. Poor dude! Some of those thorns were really jammed in there too, at least half an inch.

First I took a good look at how many they were and where they were. Nothing in a joint or anything like that, luckily, so I tied up his tail and started the process of carefully pulling them out. There were 9 total, with a few stuck in there deeper than others. They definitely hurt, he threatened to knock my block off a couple times. I tried to just be quick about it while also trying to avoid stabbing myself in the process (wasn’t 100% successful with that, I stabbed myself once). A few spots bled quite a bit, which I figured was a good thing to help clear them out.

They stopped bleeding pretty quickly, and I scrubbed them up, ran my hands all over the area to make sure I didn’t miss any and that none of them broke off, and he seemed fine after that. I think the spots must have stung a bit because when walking through the longer grass in his pasture he hiked that leg up a bit more, but he trotted out sound and seemed no worse for wear. He’s normally pretty smart about nature in general, so I figured something must have spooked him and he flew backwards into the wrong, unlucky spot.

Then when I was grooming him I found a little swelling and a bite mark on his neck, which makes me think the neighbors horses might have been involved. There are definitely some stabby plants up near the back fenceline, and if Henry was playing bitey face with them over the fence and things went too far, he easily could have flown backwards into one.

Henry is also zero percent stoic and extremely high drama, so he milked his multiple stab wounds for all they were worth. Plays me like a fiddle, this one. I lost count of how many cookies he had, because according to him, cookies heal all wounds. At least one cookie for every stab, that’s for sure.

I can honestly say this is the first time I’ve ever had to extract so many big sharp thorns from a horse, despite how long I’ve had horses in Texas and just how many stabby things we have here. Guess it was time for nature to bite back. I gave him a little bute last night just in case, and took a good look at the area this morning by flashlight, and all seems fine. No swelling, and you can’t even see the spots anymore. He walked out of his stall looking totally normal. Hopefully he stays that way.

And, uh, hopefully he keeps his chonky ass out of all the stabby stuff from now on. Lesson learned, maybe?