I am one of those people that will somehow find a nickname for an animal, twist it 45 different ways, and never call said animal by their actual name. Unless they’re about to get in trouble… kinda like how your mom would throw out your middle name when you were teetering on the brink of a bad decision. Otherwise though, I basically never call any of my animals by their real names in regular day to day life. Mina for instance has morphed almost entirely to Beans or usually just B. Henry is Hens or Muffin. Presto is Pesto or Noodle. Also… hmmm… I literally just noticed when I typed this out that they’re mostly food related. That wasn’t intentional either.
So it’s no surprise that Gemma has had nicknames right from the start, and we’ve run through them pretty quickly. Slim Gem is the obvious one, and it was particularly appropriate when she first arrived and was so skinny (she’s still skinny, so I still call her this sometimes, but she’s less skinny now at least). She earned Jungle Gem a few times in those first couple weeks when she had some wild moments too… that’s a fun nickname but I don’t get to use it that often anymore.
Then there were all the “squirt” variations. The Mare Squirts are real with this one, although have definitely decreased since she’s been on Regumate. Still though… she’s squirty. It started out as Lil Squirt (her rapper name, obviously), then went to SquirtAlert, before settling on Squirt Gun Kelly. I still call her that sometimes.
The most often used ones are GemGem, which is not creative in the least so I disappoint myself every time I use it, and Clever Girl, which she has rightfully earned. I caught myself calling her Pretty Girl a few times in the beginning and I absolutely hate the word “pretty” so I had to force myself to say clever instead for a while, and now it’s well-stuck. I’ve always felt a weird way about the word pretty (in relation to living things at least) for my entire life and never really could figure out why until I saw this Rupi Kaur poem a few years ago… really hits the nail on the head.
Anyway. She is extremely clever, so that’s a more appropriate word for her.
She also gets called Goat Girl a lot, because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a horse that was a) more thorough in her grazing b) so non-discriminatory about the greenery she will eat. Like… this thing will get down on her knees and crawl halfway under the fence to eat a shitty weed even in a big pasture. I blame it on her west Texas upbringing where I’m betting she probably never had much grass so now she will literally eat anything that grows out of the ground. The annoying part about it to me is that she’ll eat these shitty weeds but still doesn’t like the coastal hay very much and I have to mix it in with her alfalfa to get her to eat it instead of just pull it out of the net and piss on it. Freakin goat.
Her latest nickname is Geminem, because she is both slim and shady. That one seems to be sticking too.
How often do I actually call her Gemma? Almost never. Or at least not to her face.