You’ve got a friend in me (for now)

Henry has been living the solo turnout lifestyle for a while now. Almost 3 years while we were at the western barn, and while he started out in group turnout at the vet’s place, he eventually got banished again. Why? Because he’s a butthole and if he senses any kind of weakness or submission in another horse, he will chase them, or have random outbursts of rage.

img_1937
This poor sweet goofy idiot just wants to be friends and play bitey face but Henry is mostly interested in sporadic homicide

When we moved to the new place I didn’t even bother trying him with other horses. Mostly because he makes me kind of nervous, since I never quite know how he’ll react, and I didn’t want him to hurt anyone. He’s content enough on his own, and it’s worked out fine.

And then February decided to be rainy. Like day after day after day. This presents a bit of a quandary for me, because 1) only one of the pastures has a shelter 2) I’m gone like 10 hours, all day long. I don’t really like for horses to be stuck outside with no option for shelter, especially since I work so far away and can’t get there at the drop of a hat if a more severe storm were to pop up. Of course, I also don’t want to have to leave them inside all day either, especially if the rain is spotty or light or the chances are like 50%, which is how this week was. None of us want them stuck inside for days at a time for no real reason.

So last weekend, knowing that the rain was coming, I started experimenting with how I could make sure they still got turnout, but also that everyone had the option for shelter. In the past I’ve tried putting Presto, JB, and Quinnie in the front field with the shed, and leaving Henry’s pasture gate open so that he could use the barn as shelter. But since him going to shelter would require putting himself very much out of the line of sight of the other horses, he refused to use it, just parking himself dejectedly at the fenceline. That doesn’t work.

Henry has played with the other horses over the fence and I never saw any aggressive behavior from him, so first I tried the easiest option of putting him in with them and making a group of 4. That lasted for about 10 minutes. He and Presto are well acquainted enough to where Henry isn’t TOO psychopathic towards him, and Presto knows to steer well clear. But JB just kept trying to go up and make friends with him repeatedly, and he made the crucial mistake of being way way too submissive about it. Henry sensed weakness, pounced on it, and started chasing him. I had to intervene and quickly put the kibosh on that. As I suspected, he can’t be trusted alone with the babies.

img_1964
Presto wearing last years sheet because he ripped half the lining out of this years, proving me right for not selling the old one

Plan B was to make two pairs, which I really hate doing in general because I feel like 2 is the worst number for horses. They tend to get overly dumb about their friend, and one or both turns into a moron when the other one leaves. But… I didn’t have a lot of options, and was willing to try it. So the babies went out in the front pasture with the shed, and I turned Henry out with Quinnie in the middle pasture that opens up into the barn courtyard. I figured I could just leave that gate open and they could have the barn to use as shelter.

I put Henry with Quinnie and thought “Ok, here we go”. He marched up to her, they sniffed noses, he squealed and pinned his ears, and Quinnie looked at him deadpan like “Who the fuck you think you are, bucko?” and starts grazing, ignoring him completely. Henry was perplexed. You could see the hamster spinning at mach 5 on it’s wheel in his brain. He tried again, puffing up to her, ears pinned. She didn’t even so much as acknowledge his presence. And so began Henry’s love affair with Quinnie.

They’ve been out together all week now, and he is very much NOT the alpha in their relationship. He goes where she says, when she says, how she says. He’s been transformed from a psychopathic baby-chaser to a relatively pathetic puppy dog. She owns his ass.

But she’s also nice about it, too.  Not mean, just very clear firm lines. They’re always pretty close together and she seems to enjoy having an adult companion again. She still keeps track of what the babies are doing in the pasture next to hers, and they tend to all tend to hang out in the same area. One time I caught Henry trying to mess with JB over the fence and Quinnie came barging between them, reprimanding Henry and moving him back away from the fence. She ain’t got time for that shit, and she ain’t having it. She couldn’t really manage him when all 4 were together, it was too much chaos, but she can manage him pretty well one-on-one.

img_1961

Having the barn for shelter on the rainy days worked pretty well. I hung a couple slow feed nets, so they wouldn’t have reason to wander out into the rain if they didn’t want to, and they chose to stay pretty dry. Presto is a little salty about the whole ordeal because Quinnie is his favorite friend too, but he seems to be getting over it. And Henry, while totally devoted, has not been stupid about it yet, knock on wood. Yesterday I rode him and no one had a meltdown about being separated.

on one of the rainy days I opened the cameras while I was at work and found them sharing a stall. It’s cute, admit it.

I like that Henry finally has a friend, and as long as he can keep himself together about it, he can keep her. We’re getting a few days off from the rain but I’ve kept them in their pairs. If he doesn’t try to kill anyone and can keep his brain in his head for riding, I’m happy to let him stay with her. We shall see. For now, they’re pretty darn cute. They both look like fat old mares… they’re BBFs – best broodmare friends. There’s a real Golden Girls aspect to them, especially when they’re standing nose to nail under the tree in the afternoon, taking a nap.

I think they’d be Dorothy and Sophia

Fingers crossed that we’ve found a good solution and Henry can actually have a friend that he doesn’t try to murder for once.

13

Guess who’s officially a teenager today?

Yup, it’s Mr. Hesalmostsweet aka Happenstance aka Henry aka Henny aka Handsome aka Boo.

Since we’ve got a tradition of birthday hats/headbands by now, he picked one that had an appropriate amount of sass to match his personality. Well he really wanted one that said “worship me and give me cookies” but I couldn’t find that so we settled for the next best thing.

Where does the time go, y’all? I can’t believe he’s 13. I’m not ready.

Also, man I really didn’t notice how terrible his halter looked until these photos. Ignore that.

This afternoon we’ll definitely celebrate Henry with lots of cookies, some peppermints in his dinner, and a nice long canter in his sidepull so he has ample opportunity to spook and be wild and pretend to try to buck me off. All his favorite things!

There’s Always the Circus

As I alluded to yesterday, if Presto doesn’t work out as an eventer I’ve decided that we’ll just go audition to join the circus. I feel like he is uniquely qualified, and let me tell you why.

First of all, he looks like a damn giraffe.

Honestly, we could paint the giraffe spot pattern on him and a lot of city-folk probably wouldn’t even know. The legs, the withers, the neck, the slightly flopped ears… you have to admit it’s pretty close. So right off the bat, he could be part of the “rare zoological feature”.

Image result for giraffe circus

It doesn’t stop there, though. See, he’s multi-talented performance giraffe. He also has a ball act, which (as I have proven in my Instagram stories) can easily be set to music for more flair or drama. His performance features myriad tricks, including but not limited to:

ezgif.com-video-to-gif (1)
kneeling
ezgif.com-video-to-gif (2)
twirling
ezgif.com-video-to-gif (3)
violent twirling
ezgif.com-video-to-gif (4)
a toss-stomp-reverse smoosh combo
ezgif.com-video-to-gif (6)
spins
ezgif.com-video-to-gif (5)
and even some freestyle rodeo moves, to add to his all-american appeal (rodeo is backup plan C, if both eventing and the circus don’t work out)

And of course, he likes to end every performance with a good snuggle session.

Every performance is a freestyle, so you don’t just get the same show every night. Sometimes he even throws new combos in there, trying out new material to keep the audience on their toes. Really, there’s so much stage appeal here, and I’m not just saying that because I’m his manager. This kid could be a star.

If the circus still isn’t convinced to take him as a solo performer, it’s possible that we could cast JB in a supporting role, for additional chaos.

img_1832
DIS MAH STICK

I think Presto could potentially draw quite a crowd at the circus, given his appearance and skill set. Sure, he might be a bit of a diva about what he requires in his dressing room (please ignore the “45 buckitz of COOOOKEEEEES” scrawled across the bottom of his contract in crayon) but you have to admit he has star appeal. I refuse to wear this outfit though. I draw a hard line at that.

Image result for giraffe circus

The Home Stretch

You know what’s stupid? Breeding. Ok, it’s not stupid, I love it a lot, but if you’re into instant or at least somewhat short-term gratification, this is 1000% not the way to get it.

he cute tho

I picked the stallion and mare in 2015. Five years ago. We are five years into this and I haven’t even ridden the resulting offspring yet. And the worrying… my god. It starts before the horse is even born. What if something happens and the mare aborts? What if the foal is stillborn? What if something goes wrong during delivery and both the foal and the mare die? What if it has 4 eyeballs and 3 legs? What if it tries to die constantly for it’s entire life, because it’s a horse and that’s what horses do?

Not that I, uh… over-imagined any of those scenarios plus like 500 others or anything.

Image result for shifting eyes gif

And for the record, one of my nightmares did actually come true so now my neurosis is justified forever and ever.

But when they’re foals it’s all pretty fun (okay, when they’re not trying to die it’s fun) because they’re cute and fluffy and everything in the world is exciting to them. It’s literally a new horse, but in the cutest possible form. You are delighted to have successfully created said new horse, and you’re thinking “Ha! SUCCESS! I did it!”.

And then they’re weaned and you’re like well, ok… now what.

Image result for now we wait gif

They get ugly, and then less ugly, and then reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaal ugly, and then less ugly, and then dumb, and then less dumb, and then re-dumb. They grow, and they change, and they learn, and then forget, and then learn again, and then grow and change some more. Sometimes you stand there looking at them like:

Image result for what have I done gif

And then other times you see a glimpse of the horse they hopefully will become someday, and that changes to:

Image result for created a masterpiece gif

If there’s one thing you learn really quickly about babies that you’re raising for yourself, it’s that you have to take the best of what you see, and learn how to burn the rest from your memory. It’s a long long long long wait, and you’ll drive yourself crazy if you overanalyze them on the regular. It’s like looking at a 10yo kid and trying to guess what kind of 35yo they’ll become.

And so it goes for those first couple years, staring at varying versions of an ugly yak-creature that you’re pretty sure is a horse, at least biologically, until basically they’re 3 or 4 and ready to start their real life. And that stretch between 2.5yo and 3yo? It’s approximately 1,008 months.

Image result for it's been 84 years gif

For real, while the entire first few years are slow AF, this particular stretch of time could not be more torturous. The horse is big and grown up enough to look like a real horse, but… it’s not a real horse. If I didn’t have Henry as a distraction I don’t know what I would do.

Originally I had wanted to put a handful of very easy rides on Presto around the 2.5 mark, but a particularly awkward growth spurt put the kibosh on that. If he can’t even figure out how to canter on the same lead in the front and the back, there isn’t much use in asking him to figure out how to carry a rider. Now, knock on wood, the balance seems to have magically re-appeared again. All the sudden one day I looked up and his lovely gallop was back, and I found myself staring at him starry-eyed as I have so many times in the last 3 years. Imagining what that will feel like to ride. Picturing him storming around his first cross country, the thing I literally created him to do (FIVE YEARS AGO). More and more, day by day, bit by bit… I can see it in him. He’s almost a real horse.

ezgif.com-gif-maker

We are now officially about a month from Presto’s 3yo birthday. It’s shaping up to be a wet month, and I don’t have anyone around or in town to come help me with his first few rides, so we’re just waiting. What’s another few months at this point, when it’s already been five years in the making? And then consider that he’s definitely over a year, maybe year and a half away from actually going to his first event… those first rides are the culmination of one part, but also just the beginning of a whole new even longer process. Which is almost depressing when you think you’re finally at the end of what has already been a long process.

Image result for end beginning gif

So here we find ourselves, on the home stretch of this particular part of the journey. Hopefully. Maybe. It’s a really really long home stretch, that’s for sure. I for one CANNOT WAIT. It’s been a long 84 3 years. And hey, if the eventing thing doesn’t work out, Presto can always join the circus. More about that tomorrow…

Now I Get It

For the majority of my life I’ve always had horses that were green and/or young and/or remedial. Part of that was because projects were the only thing I could afford. The other part of that is that, luckily, they’re also what I’ve always tended to enjoy most. I like taking something and molding it into something better. It’s rewarding, it’s challenging, and it keeps life interesting.

cruzsaletrot1
what, you don’t buy random 17.1h halter-broke-only TB’s out of people’s backyards because it seems like a good way to spend the winter?

Sure, I fantasized about the whole “if I won the lottery I’d go buy an experienced horse” thing, but since it was so far outside of the realm of reality I never devoted that much thought or desire to it. Realistically I didn’t really even understand the appeal… a horse like that seemed honestly a bit boring to me. What was the point really? And if, in my price range, you gave me the option between the young/green/idiot vs the older/past it’s prime/but likely a lot easier horse… my dumb ass is gonna choose the idiot every time. I can’t help it.

Image result for i like danger gif

And, truth be told, because pretty much all I’ve ever had is projects (aside from my first horse who was older but actually WAS, in retrospect, fairly dangerous for 16yo kid), I’ve never kept one long enough to enjoy it as more of a finished product. The closest I’ve ever come was the lease horse that I rehabbed from a soft tissue injury and showed a little in the adult jumpers. He was further along in his training when he came to me compared to most I’d had, although he was T-R-I-C-K-Y to ride. Particularly the first 5 minutes where you had to convince him that he was, in fact, required to move beyond a stand still (every ride. every effing ride.).

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
he could jump though, if/when he felt like it

In my time as a barn rat, though, and then later at boarding barns, I was lucky enough to have access to some more “made” horses. I got to ride some nice ones, and it was of great benefit to me as a rider. I still never really found myself jonesing for one though. I can’t help it, I really love my projects. When it comes to horses, green is my favorite color.

No photo description available.
I’ll take two

But now, 6 years into owning Henry, I find myself in uncharted territory. He’s almost 13, we know each other really really well, and swinging a leg over his back is like slipping on your favorite pair of gloves. He’s not a dead-head, but he’s a pretty confirmed, trained horse by now. There are few surprises (even last week, when he spooked at the bushes because the lawn guys trimmed them and they were SHORTER THAN THEY HAD BEEN BEFORE OMG… it was still the reaction I expected). And although he is a spooky idiot and probably always will be, he’s predictable.

predictably terrifying, if you ask Presto

I think the best part, though, is that even when he’s off for a few months, or we do things we haven’t done in a while, he still just shows up and and does his job. He has buttons firmly installed, and they don’t come and go depending on the day. Like when just a couple weeks into riding him again, I got on bareback and ran through all of his confirmed dressage movements and he just… did them. Half pass? Ok. Halt-rein back-canter? Ok. Shoulder in? Ok. Counter canter loops? Ok. They weren’t perfect, he’s not as strong as he was, but… he did them without question. I have been riding for almost 30 years and this is legit a new experience for me.

The jumping is much the same. I’ve taken my time working him back up, but on Sunday I put up a 3’3″ course and hopped around it a couple times. First of all, he knows when it’s a jump day, and all he really wants to do from the second I swing a leg over is canter. Which I find more amusing than I probably should, but I just can’t help but think his enthusiasm, and the fact that he obviously knows what’s on the agenda, is endearing. And the fact that he’s so excited to be doing his job, one he knows really well, that he’s more than happy to cover any of my rusty mistakes (could I find a consistent distance? any distance, just not 500 different ones…) because he’s confident and happy in his job.

Now I get it. I get the appeal of having an experienced horse, and I understand why it’s so fun. No it’s not boring. No it’s not monotonous and predictable. Yes it’s still very rewarding… I made the horse, now I get to enjoy him. Maybe I’ve been doing it wrong all along. Not in the respect of buying green horses and projects – that will always be my first love – but in not keeping them and enjoying them long term.

But maybe I’m also able to say that now because I look out in the pasture and see the next big project waiting for me, and knowing what all is in store. It makes it easy to appreciate the horse I’ve built, and at the same time I’m also really excited to get started on the next one. Maybe this is the way to do it – one older established horse, and one dumb baby idiot. Best of both worlds.