I figure there will be a lot of funny faux-pas type stories as I go along with my new full time farm living, so why not just go ahead and start a series? I’ve already been laughing at myself a few times, but my favorite dumb moment so far has been my misadventure with the alarm. The property is rigged pretty thoroughly with cameras and a Ring system, which the alarms are also synced with. To start the story of how I so thoroughly tested the alarm system, first I have to set the stage for you.

See, it was cold last week. Really cold, especially for a Texan, and especially in November. I mean seriously, a month ago it was 95 degrees, and all the sudden we had a whole week where it got down into the 20’s. And it was raining. There was legit frozen shit falling from the sky (ok, not at the farm, but nearby). I know I’m a baby compared to northern standards, but I was a popsicle.

So on one of those cold nights, after spending days being some level of cold 24/7, when I got in the shower after cleaning stalls and feeding the horses, I cranked up the hot water. I mean really really hot. And I let it run until my skin was pink from head to toe and I was enveloped in a steamy wonderland and I was finally hot again. It was delightful. Eventually I climbed out of the shower, feeling refreshed and happy in that glorious way that only a truly hot shower on a really cold day can achieve.

And then, my dog pushed the bathroom door open.

As soon as the door cracked enough to release all the steam in the bathroom, it billowed directly into the smoke alarm. It immediately started blaring with that horrible ear-splitting screech, making me jump completely out of my skin. Mind you, I had barely even reached for a towel at this point, much less dried off or gotten dressed.

A few seconds after the smoke alarm started blaring, the Ring alarm started blaring too. From on top of the refrigerator came another ear-splitting screech, so now there were two sources of screeching creating a lovely cacophony of noise in stereo. As I’m fumbling with the towel, trying to get out in the hallway to turn the smoke alarm off, I now hear my phone in the bedroom (from yet another direction) alarming too, because the Ring sends you notifications when alarms are triggered. Make that THREE sources of screeching.

So there I am, dripping wet, losing all of my glorious warmth by the second, trying to silence all these alarms coming from all different directions. I got the smoke alarm first, hoping that if I silenced the source it would shut all 3 of them up, but the Ring kept going. I had to dash across the house clinging to my towel (hello, across the street neighbors) and try to figure out how to turn it off. I was unsuccessful, so I dashed back to the bedroom, still in my towel (hello again, across the street neighbors), and opened the Ring app, where I was finally able to shut off the alarm.

Now I was wet, cold, wrapped partially in a towel, and had left a trail of water in my wake from one end of the house to the other. And I was definitely no longer relaxed. Probably a bit traumatized about taking hot showers forever, honestly. I’ve developed a real complex about it.

And then of course, the home owner texted and asked what was on fire, because I forgot they get the Ring alarm notifications too. God, I can only imagine them sitting there eating dinner or something in Florida and all the sudden their phones go off with a fire alarm at home. I had to explain that no, nothing was on fire, I was just cold and took a shower so hot that the steam set off the smoke alarm. Only me. ONLY FREAKING ME.

I guess, in the alarm’s defense, it was a really hot shower.