I definitely got some really cool gifts this Christmas, including but not limited to:

as well as the usual money and gift cards. I LOVE money and gift cards, because I get to do a nice little Treat Yo Self extravaganza on someone else’s dime. Even if one of those gift cards is being hastily ordered at 7am on Christmas morning by the SO, because that is the kind of next level procrastination I’m dealing with here. That’s okay though, because I’m pretty sure the guilt of exceptional delay caused him to throw more money on the card than he otherwise would have. I will take that, please and thank you. I’ve already got a cart full of stuff at Riding Warehouse, including a year’s supply of fly spray and salt blocks, a pair of brown Samshield gloves, another pair of white Horze breeches, and the long-coveted green Motionlite coat.

My Amazon gift card is already half-used too, buying a new pair of casual shoes for work, because the ones I usually wear have a massive blowout. I have a very Homeless Chic vibe at the moment if you look at my footwear. Or maybe Horse-Poor Chic. Same thing.

From the cash I got, a large chunk of it went to the barn worker. I was going to give him a Christmas tip anyway, so it saved me a trip to the bank. He’s been working 7 days a week for months now, he’s definitely underpaid, and he always makes sure my boys are very well taken of. He deserved every bit of what I gave him. The farrier got his tip a few weeks ago when he showed up at 7am to tack a shoe back on Henry before a show. I had to hide it in his truck for him to take the money from me, but I succeeded. As far as the vets go, considering how much I’ve spent on Henry in the past 6 weeks between teeth, shots and coggins, and his annual injections, they’ve gotten plenty of my money lately (damn Henry feels AMAZING though). And Presto is getting gelded sometime in the next month, so there’s still more money coming to them.

Most of the rest of the cash is already spent too, upgrading to a new vest. I’ve been eyeballing a new one for most of the year now, and I finally used this as a good excuse to pull the trigger.

To back up a bit, up until a couple days ago I was still planning on buying the Airmesh. I already have an Airowear that I’ve been really happy with, and the Airmesh seemed like a good next step. I was kinda grumpy that it didn’t come in navy though, and I’ve never really stopped window shopping vests in the UK, since they have so many more options than we do. I found myself on Redpost looking at a helmet cover for my new Champion skull cap (you’ll hear more about that later. And the first person who asks how many helmets I have now gets punched in the throat.) and naturally I clicked over to the site’s body protector page.

I’ve looked into the Dainese brand before, because they have such a good reputation for their motorcycle safety equipment. A lot of the same technology that they’ve used in that market – especially when it comes to being comfortable, flexible, and lightweight – has been applied to their equestrian body protectors as well. Their most popular is the Balios 3, a BETA 3 approved vest that’s made from little hexagonal tiles of memory retention foam. In all of my online stalking of reviews and British forums, everyone seemed to unanimously agree that it was more comfortable, lighter, and breathable than either the Racesafe or the Airowear. To make things even more tempting, Redpost had the navy on sale. With the VAT removed, it was about half off of regular retail, which was too tempting for me to pass up. You can’t buy the Dainese in the US, so I took a bit of a leap of faith with it, but hopefully it fits and hopefully I like it! It’s definitely not like anything I’ve ever seen before.

Henry’s Christmas present was new blankets. Last week Horseloverz put the HUGs on sale, and at first I was going to order some for Presto for next year since he will definitely not fit in his current 72 by that point. But then I figured he’d probably fit in Henry’s 78’s next year, so why not give Henry’s old ones to Presto, and Henry could get nice pretty new ones! So he got a new navy sheet, blanket, and neck cover for a grand total of $130, and I’m happy because I don’t have to look at those ugly teal ones all the time now, since Presto isn’t blanketed much. Plus if he destroys those I won’t really care, since they’re already 3 years old.

As for Presto, well… he didn’t really get anything. He has everything a baby horse could possibly need, and since his current nickname is MOUTH, he’s been banned from treats for the foreseeable future. Hillary’s new horse moved into the pasture next to him though, and I can already tell that they will be great friends. As soon as Presto is gelded and Inca goes back home, they’ll probably end up being pasture mates. So there… I suppose he got a future friend for Christmas.

Hope you guys had a great holiday and maybe even got a few cool new toys, too! Tell me everything, you know I love horse stuff.

Merry Derpmas and Happy Holidays from my weirdos to yours!

Ah, the good ol’ pre-purchase exam, a thing that strikes fear into the hearts of buyers and sellers alike. I feel like I’ve been talking and/or reading a lot about PPE’s lately, with several friends horse shopping and the recent discussions on facebook that seem to have been spurred, at least in part, by an EN post that mentioned the term “American vetting”. I’ve heard the term before from friends that import, but this is the first that I’ve ever seen anyone publicly talk about it, and it’s definitely sparked a lot of conversation in my circles.

My English Unicorn Hunter is also responsible for arranging vettings and knows which vets will do a good job and understand how to put potential horses through an “American Vetting.” I vet all my potential horses as they would be vetted by a buyer in the USA; this means a full set of X-rays including back and in some cases scopes and ultrasounds. Many horses with minor issues which I am confident won’t be a problem, I have to pass on, as I know they will not be acceptable in an American vetting even for a low level job.  – Justine Dutton, The Truth about Imports

I will admit up front that I’ve really got no skin in this game. I have owned 14 horses in my life and vetted precisely one, and that one I did not buy. Granted, I bred 2 of those 14, and the highest purchase price among them (aside from my very first horse, who was 5k) was $1500. I’ve always bought low dollar projects that were meant for short term re-sale. If I was spending a lot of money on a horse or looking for something specific, or to keep for the long term, I would probably approach things differently. With my history, though, usually if I’ve found myself involved in a PPE, it’s been on the seller’s side of things. These days I don’t do the project horses anymore, and I’ll probably never have the budget to buy something that’s already going, so PPE’s aren’t something I’ve spent much time thinking about. Thus, watching all of these conversations unfold lately has been relatively fascinating.

Really there are 3 parties involved in the PPE – the buyer, the seller, and the vet. In the modern age of knee-jerk litigation, it’s in the vet’s best interest to go over a horse with a fine toothed comb, pointing out every bump, lump, and pimple. I don’t blame them at all for trying to be thorough. It’s the buyer’s job to sort through those findings and figure out what they can live with. But are most buyers’ expectations unrealistic? If they’re expecting every film to look perfect, they’re probably never going to find a horse to buy. It seems that some buyers think that any little finding means there’s something wrong with the horse, or that it automatically means the horse isn’t suitable for whatever job they had in mind. Yet horses don’t know how to read xrays, and many issues may never actually cause a problem.

The more realistic expectation is for the PPE to show you what’s there so you can determine if it’s something you can live with or not. I think of my horse, and all of my friends’ horses that have been competing for a while, consistently and with general overall soundness. Would any of them have a “clean” PPE? Probably very few, if any. I know horses running 2* with chips, or Advanced with kissing spines, or Training with a roar, or running Prelim with arthritis. Horses that, with some care, have no issues performing well in those jobs. I’ve found myself wondering – if I was the person vetting these horses, would I have bought them?

Some of it comes down to experience, of course. Knowing what you think you can manage and what you can’t. And then some of it just comes down to pure luck. Anyone who’s ever been around a horse for more than 2 seconds knows that they just love to up and die (or get hurt) for no actual reason. You could have the cleanest PPE in the world and the horse could still go out and permanently maim himself in the pasture tomorrow, while the horse with a terrible PPE could still be bopping around Prelim at age 20. I think all of us could probably think of examples.

If you listen to the folks who sell a lot of horses, they think that the PPE process and expectations have spiraled out of control. Hence the birth of the term “American vetting”. Do we have an unrealistic expectation of perfection in this country? I wouldn’t find that too hard to believe. This post from a popular and successful OTTB re-seller is very interesting to read.

Of course, it’s easy to see it from the buyer’s point of view too. If you’re laying down whatever is, to you, a large chunk of change, on a horse you intend to keep for a long time, of course you’d like to go into it with as much information and as few issues as possible. Wouldn’t we all like the unicorn with a picture perfect vetting and a lifetime guarantee? So how do you decide how intensive the PPE should be? Do you xray every joint, all 4 feet, the back, ultrasound the legs, scope, etc? Does the price point make a difference? Does the intended purpose make a difference? Some people seem to have their vetting practices down to a science. Other people, maybe those who don’t buy horses very often, often just seem wide eyed and overwhelmed by the whole thing, unable to process what the vet’s finding actually mean for their own situation.

So where do you stand on the PPE issue? Do you think it’s gotten a bit out of hand with buyer expectations? What do you look for in a PPE, and do you know what you can live with and what you can’t, or do you expect a “clean” vetting?

One of my favorite things about this time of year is Tracy’s blogger Secret Santa gift exchange. She is organized and systematic, qualities that I definitely do not have, and I really look forward to it every year. Mostly because I feel like it’s kind of fun to try to figure out good gifts for a horse person that you probably don’t know in real life, but kinda “know” via their blog. It’s a challenge and I like it. Plus buying stuff for horse people is way more interesting and easier than buying stuff for normal people, let’s be honest.

This year my gift showed up before I’d even gotten the last item for my own recipient, which left me feeling extra good at this whole adulting thing. Some of y’all are seriously on top of this. It’s admirable. Mine won’t get there until the 22nd (says USPS, if you care to believe those dreamcrushers), but hey… at least it wasn’t late?

Anyway, my own gift arrived last week and I considered waiting until Christmas for about .5 seconds, but then nah. Grem was very excited to help me open it and examine the contents – peppermint SmartCookies, a navy surcingle belt, and some lotion. All very solid gifts! Especially considering that I know I’m challenging to shop for, and I was 0% helpful when filling out my secret santa form, just putting “Surprise me!” in there. I’m the worst.

My Secret Santa was Ashlyn at Pembrokes & Ponies, which was totally fitting since she’s a fellow corgi owner. She did a great job picking out stuff for us, and we love everything. Henry has already mowed through half of the treats

and I wore the belt foxhunting last weekend!

It’s possible that Grem absconded with the lotion and I lost it under the coffee table for a few days, but it’s been recovered. For now. Who knew tubes of lotion could sub as cat toys?

Thanks Ashlyn, you nailed it!

Lest anyone get the impression from this blog that Henry is a perfect angel unicorn, let me ruin that for you right now. While it’s true that yes, he is pretty much always good when it matters, he is also a cheeky little shit, always planning and timing his naughtiness very deliberately. It’s devious and clever, which shows intelligence, and I respect that. To be honest it’s one of the reasons I love him, he always keeps me laughing, but don’t tell him that.

Whether it’s because of Henry or just mere coincidence, Presto is starting to show the same quality. He’s certainly less sophisticated about it, and nowhere near as sure of himself, but I do find him doing little things he knows he’s not supposed to, peeking at me out of the corner of his eye and doing the horse equivalent of cackling evilly to himself. I have one Cheeky Shit and one Cheeky Shit In Training. And their combined Cheeky Shittiness has almost landed me in the dirt twice in the past week.

Last week I wanted to give Henry an easy day before foxhunting, so I hopped on him bareback, grabbed Presto, and we went out for a pony in the fields. I do this all the time. This day, though, it was SUPER windy. The wind was howling and crap was blowing all over the place. Henry is always a little extra spooky in weather like that. Maybe it wasn’t the best day for a bareback pony, but, ya know… I ain’t got no sense.

Butting up to the back fence line of our barn’s property, they’ve been building a big gross new subdivision. It’s loud, it’s noisy, I hate every inch of it, but the horses are used to all the commotion by now. What I hate most about it, though, is the trash. The construction workers seem to think that walking a few feet to the dumpster is impossible, and instead they just leave their trash out, or, even better, throw it over the fence into our field. Rarely a day goes by without drink containers, paper bags, and plastic bags full of some kind of trash slowly rolling across our otherwise beautiful fields in the wind, or stuck in the fence and fluttering loudly. I have yelled at the construction workers before. I will probably yell at them again. At this point I just want them to be finished so that I can be annoyed about something else besides all their damn trash.

Anyway, on that day it was no different. There was a big, split open bag of Whataburger trash sitting just across the fence line. Since I’m big into horse torture (according to Presto) I marched the boys right up to it so they could face the scary flapping thing. Henry was a bit skeptical, but Presto didn’t even seem to notice. I nudged them closer, and Presto finally seemed to realize it was there, reaching down with his nose to sniff it.

And then… HE. PICKED. IT. UP.

Presto, greatly amused with his newly acquired toy, came right at Henry’s face with the flapping plastic bag.

Poor already-spooky-because-of-the-wind Henry just about had a damn heart attack. A foot splayed out in each direction for a split second before he spun and took off, which only made the bag-wielding baby follow behind him, of course. I came millimeters from going off the side, clinging to Henry with everything I had, while also trying to hold on to the idiot bag flailer. Luckily in his confusion about what was wrong with Henry, Presto quickly lost his grip on the bag, looking very sad as it plopped back down to the ground. After a few seconds I was able to convince Henry that he was safe again. Of course, he spent the entire rest of the ride jigging with his eyes bugging out the sides of his head, clearly traumatized.

You’d have thought I learned my lesson that day, but nah.

On Sunday, we headed out for another easy ponying hack, bareback and in a sidepull, since Henry had foxhunted the day before. I figured he might be a little tired and stiff and enjoy a nice long walk, but hahahahahahahahahaha that’s funny. He had that devious look in his eye before I even got on, I think seeking some kind of retribution for the bag incident. He was walking in that very deliberate way where I knew he was just WAITING for something to spook at (a trick he employs sometimes just for funsies), and it wasn’t long before a rabbit popped out of the bushes up ahead, giving him the perfect excuse. He spun with no warning, scaring the crap out of half-asleep Inca and Presto, setting off a chain reaction of scattering baby horses. I had to let go of Presto lest I get dragged right off the side of Henry as they went opposite directions, and I swear I could hear Henry laughing at all of the glorious chaos he had caused. For the second time in a matter of days I almost went flying off the side of a spooking Henry, but this time it was all Henry’s doing. Retribution achieved.

As soon as he got that out of system he was magically cured of his spookiness (omg it’s a freakin’ Christmas miracle), and I made him trot Presto around a little bit in the other field since CLEARLY he wasn’t tired at all.

Pretty sure Henry has no regrets and says it was all totally worth it, although I’m sporting sore muscles in some really strange places right about now.