Tuesday was opening day for FEH Championships! I have not sent in my entry yet, because I’m not really that into tempting fate, but I did notice there are a lot of changes this year compared to last. Have I ever mentioned how convenient it is that they got a Central championship the exact same year that I had a horse at the right age to start participating in FEH? We’ll pretend that was on purpose. Thanks everyone.

Last year the show was at Texas Rose, a really nice venue, but a bit far from me at 4 hours each way. Granted, this is Texas… everything is far. We drove up the day before and stayed overnight. But this year the show is being held at Haras Hacienda, the Real Fancy place where Presto did his qualifier. It cuts my drive in half, since Haras is only 2 hours each way. That technically makes it possible to just haul in for the day, rather than have to come the day before and stay overnight. Which is a good thing, since prices went up this year.

USEA cut some of their FEH funding this year, so the increased fees are not a surprise. Entry fee plus starter fees for central Championships are now $210 for yearlings and 2yo’s, $285 for 3yo’s, and $310 for 4yo’s. As much or more than a regular horse trial entry fee. My last Prelim entry was $280, for example. The costs associated with running the FEH Championship are crazy, and the number of competitors isn’t high enough to cover it, so I completely understand the increase in fees. I do wonder if it will deter people from participating in the program altogether, though. There’s no easy solution to that one. It’s tough to get sponsorship for stuff like this in America, where we’d rather go import horses than buy (and promote) what’s being bred and raised here.

By hauling in for the day and working out of the trailer, I’d only have to pay a $30 grounds fee as opposed to a $65 day stall or $85 overnight stall plus $25 muck fee. It will make for an early morning and long day for both of us, but we’ve done it before. It’s also on a Thursday which is kind of a bummer because it means a day off of work. Between the entry fee and the grounds fee plus a $35 health certificate and the $50 handler fee (um, yes, you can bet your sweet ass I’m hiring Martin again, best decision ever) it’s shaping up to be an expensive 5 minute in-hand class. Especially for a horse that isn’t for sale or destined to be a FEH superstar. But, hey… he’s only 2 once, right?

Presto is actually looking pretty good right now, despite being in yet another growth spurt. The barn owner has been trying real hard to get his ribs covered a bit more, and she’s done as good a job as I think is possible short of tubing lard directly into his stomach (… is that an option? Asking for a friend…). The fact that he’s in a not-that-ugly stage makes me nervous that he’s gonna go full blown Giramoollamapaloosa right before Championships, because he rarely stays looking good for long.

At this point now we just have to keep him in one piece and try to minimize the various scrapes and bumps that are neverending. He constantly looks like he lost a fight with a weedwhacker.

I also have to decide which browband to show him in – his green and navy Boy o Boy Bridleworks or his swoopy spiked punk rock one from Dark Jewel Designs. His bridle is kind of barely fitting him these days, especially in the crown area, and he’s already pushing the limits of the Boy o Boy browband (which is freaking HORSE SIZE, what the hell, Presto!). The top half of his head is huge, and it’s certainly not because he has a big brain.

I also noticed after I snapped the browband pictures that in the month or two since I last put his bridle on him, he’s grown even more, and I need to lower everything a couple holes again. So uh, ignore that part. How is his head even still growing? It’s big enough.

Which browband should he wear for FEH champs? I’m on the fence.

If you spend any amount of time walking courses with other people, it seems like everyone has certain fences they like and certain fences they don’t like. Sometimes there’s a good reason for it, like perhaps you tried to stick your face through a rolltop once or you fell in a ditch and thought they may as well just go ahead and bury you in there. Other times there doesn’t have to be a real reason, it’s just a natural aversion.

Bobby, for instance, hates Trakehners. He can’t even look at one. Weldon’s Wall’s too. Basically anything with a ditch you can end up in, he’s not on board with it… can’t say as I blame him. I think he actually ended up in a ditch once, but I don’t remember the whole story.

If you walk the course with me, you’ll notice there are certain things I really don’t make eye contact with. While I don’t mind trakehners, like Bobby I really don’t like Weldon’s Walls. Horses tend to jump them great, but there’s something about combination of the width, the height, and the depth that has me wanting to vomit.

The other thing that I hate the most, always, unequivocally, are the big square tables. Especially with a square front edge. I can’t help it, I always imagine a horse catching a knee and flipping over it. Also they tend to be stupid wide, which my stomach still has a bit of trouble processing. For some reason adding brush to the top of it does make me like it more though, hoping it will help encourage a little more lift, even though it makes it look even Stupid-er Big-ger than it already was.

Those aren’t the most logical jumps to hate, really. Horses tend to jump them both really well, and you can just keep galloping forward to both and jump them out of stride. There’s nothing technical or tricky about either of them. My brain knows this, but it still doesn’t stop me from hating them. Logic doesn’t apply.

Also not the biggest fan of upbanks after I tried to kill myself on one at Chatt. I feel like pretty much everyone has a “falling up the bank” story sooner or later. I would rather jump down a bank a few dozen times than jump up it once, to be honest. I still clearly remember the show when there were 3, count em THREE, upbanks on course. Shudder.

For stadium, I cringe hard every time I see a big square oxer as the first fence, especially if it’s off of a long approach. Come on guys, I have a hard enough time with stadium already, throw me a bone.

On the flip side, there are certain jumps that I really love, also probably for no real logical reason. You can make a rolltop as big and wide as you want, and I’ll still jump it. I dunno why but that nice curved top just seems so inviting – in contrast to the sharp ugly death edge of a square table.

I also really like anything with a dropped landing.

If the ground falls away quickly on the landing side, or if the landing side is significantly lower than the take-off side, I love it. I have no actual reason for this except that I think they’re are super fun. It’s like WHEEEEE jumping down into the abyss. Extra bonus points if you’re landing in water, because splashing. Duh. Same goes for jumps IN the water.

I like brush too, because I can say to myself “the brush doesn’t really count” and ta-da, the jump is instantly smaller.

What do I like in stadium? I dunno, whichever one is the last freaking jump.

What about you? What types of fences do you love, and which ones do you want to burn to the ground (not that I’ve ever actually imagined doing that to a Weldon’s Wall or anything…)? H/J people, this totally applies to you, too. Let’s talk about how not logical our brains are!

Eventers – we are an eclectic bunch. Spend a day standing out in cross country warmup and you’ll see every color of the rainbow, sometimes all on one horse, and probably at least a little bit of glitter. Coming from h/j-land it took a little while for my eyeballs to get used to this, but now I can’t help but appreciate it. I’m a firm believer in the “this is supposed to be fun” aspect of horse showing, and if decking yourself out in head to toe hot pink for XC makes you even a little bit happier, I say go for it. It might not be to my own personal taste, but you have to appreciate the individuality of it, especially in a sport that is otherwise so traditional and boring. Plus, like… if we’re being forced to do dressage and stadium, I fully believe that we’ve earned the right to wear whatever the fuck we want when we get to cross country and are galloping at solid fences.

I’m a much more boring person when it comes to color, with a deeply ingrained love of navy, but I’ve tried to inject at least a modicum of fun into it. Like, you know… little bits of yellow. Give me some credit, that’s a lot for an aesthetically dull person. Nothing makes my heart happier than a nice crisp, clean, contrasting navy and white. Just like half of the entire eventing population these days, apparently. So I added the little touches of yellow to at least try to be 5% different from the masses.

While I don’t think I’ll ever break from my love of a relatively sedate color scheme (Presto’s colors are navy and dark green, so…), one “out there” thing that I’ve always secretly kind of liked are pompoms on XC helmet covers. I don’t know why, I can’t even explain it, but there’s just something about a pompom that says “I’m here to party”. They were pretty popular way back in the day, and while they never really seemed to go out of style in the UK, you don’t see them here very much anymore.

I’ve always kind of thought that there are two unspoken rules for pompom wearing:

1) you must be under the age of 15.

or

2) you must be a mothafuckin badass.

I have a few friends that rock the Pom and they are most decidedly the latter. They’re are definitely 100% here to party AND they don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. They’re serious about what they’re doing, of course, but they never take themselves too seriously. Those are the people I want to hang out with, almost without fail. Is it the Pom that does it, or is that particular personality type just attracted to the Pom? Is there a club that I don’t know about? How do I apply for membership? Is the first rule of Pom Club that you can’t talk about Pom Club?

I admittedly have serious doubts about whether or not I am cool enough to rock the Pom. A unicorn stock tie, sure. No one can really see that. But a pompom… that’s some next level shit. Everyone can see it. From real far away. You gotta be super secure about your badassery as a person if you’re gonna rock one of those as an adult, because there is nothing subtle about it. But lately I’ve stared with increasing jealously at other people’s Poms, and blurted out a weird and I’m sure exceedingly creepy-sounding “I LOVE YOUR POMPOM” anytime I see someone wearing one.

Although I’m still waffling on a bit on whether or not I can actually pull it off, Trainer did grant me official permission to wear the Pom. I have it in writing, so is that enough to get me into Pom Club or do I need more references?

And THEN, once you decide that you ARE brave enough to let your freak flag fly and wear the Pom, how do you pick one? Do you go for a small one or a big one? A yarn one or a fur one? How the hell do you pick a color?

They even make helmet covers with changeable poms, so you can switch it around depending on your mood, or even take it off entirely if you wuss out. This is the most attractive option to me, although they all come in color sets and I don’t like any of the sets. Still, I’m sure the idea could be easily modified for a DIY version of changeable poms with my existing helmet cover.

I’m not very cool, but am I cool enough to rock the Pom? I don’t know. Jury’s still out. But, um… anyone know where I can find a Pom Club application?

Well guys, if I still did the hunters I’d officially be an older amateur today. Ok USEF does ages differently, not on actual birthday, but still. Luckily eventing gives it’s age groups way better titles, and on different ages, so I’m still a few years away from my “Master” title. Which, btw, seriously h/j y’all should adopt our age group terminology, MASTER sounds awesome. Anyway, its a weird age. I’m now closer to 40 than I am to 30. I’ve been an adult for half my life. That’s baffling to me, because sometimes I still find myself looking around for an actual adult.

I’m also lining up some relatively life-altering plans at the moment, ones that will change my horse situation and my living situation alike. It’s a really good opportunity for me, and I think will help lead to a lot more “adultier” things down the road, especially from the financial aspect. It’s really exciting, we’ll talk about it eventually. Well ok it’s a little overwhelming and daunting right now, because there’s a lot to do, but… it’ll be good. I’m going to be cleaning out my entire house over the next couple months, so brace yourselves for lots of stuff for sale or giveaway.

Since it’s Monday, that means a work day for me. It’s not even fun to play hooky on your birthday and go do horse things when it’s hotter than the 7th circle of hell.

So, no real riding today, but I’m definitely at least going to go give the boys some treats (I’ve been saving their Snacks 5th Avenchew donuts for a special occasion, why not today?) and hose them off. August in Texas is really boring.

I did get to spend lots of time at the barn this weekend though, so that counts for something. I got there early so that it was… slightly less hot… and rode Henry, gave baths, doctored Presto’s nasty ass (literally), and gave more baths.

Presto’s hematoma is (KNOCK ON WOOD) looking good. We were thinking at the end of last week that we might have to put a drain in, but the beauty of living on the vet’s property is that he can walk out to the barn every morning and make sure the little cut is still open, and massage the fluid out. Presto doesn’t seem to care, so it only takes a minute. He’s had to reopen it a couple times, but every day there is less and less fluid, so that’s a good sign. I wash it every day and massage more fluid out myself, which is relatively satisfying. The hematoma is only about the size of a fist now.

Last week I put some pebbles into plastic jugs and hung them in his stall as toys. I wasn’t sure he’d play with them, since he totally ignored a jolly ball, but boy oh boy. He stands there for hours and shakes and bites and tosses those things. I figured putting pebbles in there might make them loud enough for him to actually like them, since he’s into MAXIMUM CHAOS (man, I really missed a naming opportunity there…) and I was right.

Thank goodness you can’t really hear them that well over the noise of the fans or the barn owner might want to kill me by now. It’s kept him busy though on these hot afternoons when he’s stuck inside. I might need to keep collecting jugs though, because I have a feeling he’ll destroy them all relatively quickly. And I did end up having to tie them a bit lower, because he learned how to throw them over the stall wall and scare the shit out of the minis in the stall next to him. I think he likes to watch them scatter.

Henry did some flatwork on Saturday and got to jump a little on Sunday, plus he consumed an entire bag of carrots in 2 days. He’s happy. He’s really eager to work and feels fantastic, so I’m kind of itching to get back to our regular schedule. But… he’s also not handling this extreme heat very well in the afternoons/evenings, so we’ll keep waiting to actually do anything “for real”. I’m ready to fast forward to September.

I hope it’s less hot wherever you are!

Just me or has this been the longest week ever? I thought yesterday was Friday for most of the day so that was a massive disappointment. I hate when that happens.

Not that it really matters, because it’s supposed to be like 105 here all weekend. I’m over it and it’s not even mid-August. Send help.

Anyway, this week has certainly been interesting in my little world. Dramatic, but interesting. The highlights for me were two-fold, and the fact that they’re my “highlights” is probably pretty telling about the week as a whole.

First of all, I noticed that Riding Warehouse is carrying Quick Knots now. You used to have to order them from Europe and wait.wait.wait., but NOT ANYMORE, friends! Granted, I’m still working through the original package that I bought over a year ago. And I probably won’t need anymore for like… another year. But still, I’ve bought a few for friends now and the wait is always a little annoying. I’ve become a total Quick Knot convert (because lazy. so incredibly lazy.) so it’s exciting to me that they’re now easily and readily available, and for cheaper. It’s the little things, y’all. I do a little happy dance every time I don’t sew in a f*(%!#g braid. Thank you, overpriced paperclips. Worth every penny.

But, I have to say, I think the best thing of the week for me has been the video that I got from the vet on Wednesday morning. Remember Presto’s little hematoma from last week? LOL. Yeah well, over the weekend it went very suddenly from the size of a tennis ball to the size of a watermelon. It. Was. Nasty. I’ve never seen one that big with my own two eyeballs. Of course, he happened to do that over the few days when the vet was out of town. Horses. They have a sixth sense for when to require veterinary care, I think. As soon as the vet got home, he came out first thing the next morning and lanced it.

And, y’all.

O. M. G.

If you’re easily grossed out, do not watch this video. But if you’re ready for some of that pimple popping shit on steroids, you have to see this. I’ve watched it no less than 100 times.

This isn’t even all of it, it had been flowing for a while before he started filming (you can see way up on Presto’s hip where it started), and then after he stopped filming he had to keep massaging more fluid out. It’s so nasty. It’s so fascinating. I have to say, if you’re gonna get a $215 vet bill, it’s nice to at least get a great video out of it.

True to form, Presto has been a good patient. He’ll let you massage it (or as I like to call it – milk it) and clean the drain cut just standing in his stall without a halter on. The vet left the hole open to drain but it seems to keep closing up quickly (by now Presto is an expert in healing himself, I guess), so we might have to put a drain in today. We’ll see. It’s already back down to tennis ball size again, but it’s going to need to be able to keep draining freely for a while as it heals.

Horses, am I right?

In less disgusting news, for anyone who was interested in those Premier Equine merino wool pads, they’re back on sale again this weekend, 20% off. For Americans, VAT is removed once you go through checkout so they’ll end up even cheaper, too. Like $52.

Another highlight of the week for me in bloglang came from Meg, who wrote what I thought was a really great post about how horses think and what it means when it comes to how we relate to them. If you read one thing this week, it should be that. It’s a good reminder to all of us to always remember the big picture.

Last but not least, thanks to everyone who reached out to talk after yesterday’s blog post. I’ve been on the fence for a while about throwing my opinion out there on this issue, and didn’t after the Rob Gage turmoil, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that our industry is in this situation now partly because we haven’t talked about things openly enough. Also, I’ll be honest, I was frustrated as hell. It’s been enlightening for me in a lot of ways, whether we agree on this particular subject or not. I’ve had some really great conversations with some of you, especially the younger contingent on Instagram. Trainers and industry professionals, too. Groups I never would have expected. This is a tough topic, very emotionally charged, but it isn’t going to go away so we have to figure out a way through. Thanks for being open to having the conversation with me, it’s been really helpful.