Blog Hop: The Horsewoman’s Handbag

A few weeks ago I bought a new purse. This is a rare occasion for me. I really don’t give a crap about handbags and tend to carry the same one until it dies. In fact, I only bought a new one because the handles on the old one were about to crack in half. And of course, you know what happens when you buy a new purse… you have to clean out the old one.

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When I unceremoniously dumped the contents of my old purse into a heap on the kitchen table for cleanout/transfer, I couldn’t help but think “This is a really weird collection of crap”. Most of the weird items were horse-related things that I’d have a hard time explaining to a normal person. Surely I’m not the only one? What weird horse stuff do you have lurking in your purse?

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My findings:

  • a Carat Cake that I bought in December and carried with me for 2 months just so I could give it to Henry on his birthday
  • a flathead screwdriver (you know how many things you can use that for? emergency hoof pick, emergency hitch pin, emergency weapon if someone tries to mess with my horse… or actual screw driving, I suppose.)
  • a twine cutter
  • 4 peppermints
  • dryer sheets (this counts as a horse item because I don’t go anywhere during “static season” without them… don’t want to shock the pony!)
  • an unopened package of hairnets
  • 4 CWD logo patches
  • 3 dressage test score sheets

 

We’re weird people.

Henry is April Ludgate

I have to admit, I wasn’t really digging the “your horse as a character” thing that’s been going around blogland. Until yesterday that is, when I suddenly realized that Henry is 100% April Ludgate from Parks and Rec. Now I get it.

selfiehenry

In all fairness, I’ve been told that I’m April Ludgate too. Several times. When I first heard that, I had never seen Parks & Rec so I went and watched a little youtube compilation and was like oh… yep, nailed it. Sarcastic, blunt, weird, pretty much the polar opposite of warm and fuzzy. Then I started watching episodes here and there because obviously I love April. People also tell me pretty often that Henry and I have the same temperament. I can see how our relationship works out so well. But – let’s look at the Henry/April comparison.

First, there’s the top-notch resting bitch face (or mareglare, if you will):

HenryApril

Henry every day when I put him back in his stall after a ride:

Henry after every show:

Henry after he finishes cross country:

If you want to pet him but don’t have cookies:

When we try to do dressage:

When he sniffs hay that’s been peed or pooped on:

april ludgate parks and recreation parks and rec aubrey plaza

When I try to spend quality time with him:

The 20 Most Relatable April Ludgate Quotes From

When you try to show him affection in general:

But how he really feels about me, deep down:

Image result for april ludgate gif love

Chiro and coincidence 

It’s been a long time (a year, to be precise) since I had Henry adjusted, so when another boarder was having the chiro out for her horses, I eagerly added Henry to the list. Last year the chiro really didn’t find much out of whack with Henry… his poll and neck were a little out, and a couple of ribs.

Best day of my life

Henry has been a little reluctant to really give me his rib cage to the left, so I thought maybe he was out again in that area. Dr. Jack arrived, I pulled Henry out, and he looked at Dr. Jack like “Oh Jesus, not this guy again?”. Always a sweet, welcoming face from Henry *insert heavy sarcasm*.

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No touch. Please stahp.

After a general once-over, Dr. Jack started with his neck, with a couple of fairly impressive sounding pops. When he did the left side, which took a couple tries, Henry immediately started licking and chewing. Well, for like 5 seconds until Dr. Jack moved somewhere else and Henry went back to super suspicious.

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Pretty sure he’s trying to break all my bones. This is some Mafia type shit right here.

He was a little bit out in the ribs again, and his poll, but the two biggest areas were his withers and his lower lumbar. The lower lumbar in particular took quite a bit of work on Dr. Jack’s part to get adjusted. Coincidence that 75% of our dressage lessons are spent trying to get Henry to release and supple his lower lumbar? Probably not. We spend a hell of a lot of time doing attempting haunches-in exercises. I’m interested to see if he feels any different now that it’s been adjusted.

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I’m going to kill you while you sleep

Side note: dressage trainer called Henry “emotional” in our lesson last week and I still can’t quite get over how perfect that word is for him. Emotional. Hahahahaha.

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I AM NOT EMOTIONAL!!!

 

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Yep… it’s breeding season. I’m even more excited than usual because I actually have some personal investment in this particular season, with Sadie being bred to Mighty Magic for my future eventer. But besides Sadie, my friend Michelle at Willow Tree Farm has a few other really awesome pairings happening this year too. I’m playing the role of auntie, which I assigned to myself. Mostly because I just really really like baby horses. Sue me.

MMxSadie

First – mine. I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll never ask it to jump the kinds of things that Mighty Magic has jumped, but if it has that kind of talent I wouldn’t mind. It’ll definitely be bay or brown since MM is homozygous, which makes me happy since dirt colored is my favorite. A little bit of face white would be nice too. I won’t even sit here and say whether or not I want a colt or a filly… whichever. I’ll be thrilled with anything as long as it’s healthy.

EmeraldxLissa

The Emerald x Lissa baby is probably the most exciting on paper. Lissa herself did the Grand Prix all the way through 1.50m, and of course Emerald is one of the best showjumpers in the world right now. Someone is going to get a ridiculously nice baby from these two; I’d be shocked if this one doesn’t sell in utero. Pretty good chance for bay with some chrome, too.

balouxlaken

The Balou x Laken is pretty interesting too, being that Laken’s pedigree is so stacked with big name jumpers (Heartbreaker, Cassini, and Pikadero to name a few). Balou needs no introduction by now. Another bay with chrome maybe? Or chestnut. Or gray. Lots of possibilities with this one but 100% chance of cute and scope.

CarraccixPenelope

And last but not least: something more pint-sized. Penelope is hopefully getting a bit of a size upgrade with a dose of Carracci. Little mare can jump, so I would expect that someone will get a really nice little sportscar of a mount from this cross. And also probably dark coated with chrome.

Maybe Michelle will end up with a pasture full of chromey bay babies in 2017? The one with the least amount of chrome being mine, of course. A girl can dream. Which one do you want? All of them except Sadie’s will be for sale I believe.

Let breeding season begin!

 

 

Quinn the barn dog

Quinn doesn’t get to come to the barn with me a lot, mostly because a) he has no horse sense b) he’s deaf, so I get nervous with him out in wide open spaces. But on Saturday he gave me those big sad eyes as I was getting ready to leave, so I let him come. And thank goodness I did, because what a helper he is.

First he helped me put the new reflectors/decals on the trailer (you can tell since they’re crooked).

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He made sure that the couple of stray rocks in the barn aisle were not, in fact, edible.

He looked at me like this when I gave Henry cookies.

And then Henry looked at me like this when I gave Quinn one of his cookies.

They told each other funny stories at my expense:

And then she said “OW HENRY STOP IT”

 

Hahahahaha

 

Oh hey, there you are…

He guarded the gate…

while looking really adorable. Because that’s what corgis do.

When it was time to go home he gave me those sad, hopeful eyes again

and then sat on the couch like this for the rest of the afternoon.

Maybe he’ll get to come to the barn more often.