Author: Amanda C

Ok, so I didn’t actually get a new trailer, but I did get the poor long-suffering SO (henceforth known in this post as PLSSO) to say the words “Let’s just buy you a new trailer” AND he didn’t even flinch when I rattled on forever about exactly what I want and where to get it. At one point he even muttered – mark this one down – “that seems reasonable”. I know… I was also shocked. But how did I get that to happen? Quite simple really, here’s my How To guide.

Step 1: Bring trailer home so you can wash it and do a few minor upgrades.

Step 2: Ask PLSSO if he can come with you to Tractor Supply to help you load up all the new rubber mats you want to buy. Let him go measure the space (even though you already did), because he’s a dude and dudes love to play with tape measures.

Step 3: Stand at Tractor Supply and argue about how many feet you actually need to make it work. Enjoy baking in the 100 degree heat for 30 minutes while waiting for someone to cut the mats for you. Watch lily-white PLSSO get more and more sunburned by the second.

Step 4: Buy PLSSO some candy while you’re in line at the checkout, because he’s already getting grumpy and he has no idea what he’s even in for yet.

Step 5: Casually mention, while sitting in traffic on the highway, that you want to stop at Lowes to grab some wire mesh to put behind the plexiglass windows in the front of the trailer. Ask if he thinks he can do that. Of course he can, he’s PLSSO!

Step 6: Spend 45 minutes in Lowe’s because the layout makes no freaking sense whatsoever and you can’t find shit.

Step 7: Get home, pull down the box of car cleaning supplies from the shelf you can almost reach, drop it, and send the contents of the box clattering in every direction underneath the giant ’56 Mercury. Smile apologetically as he climbs under said car to retrieve everything.

Step 8: Start washing trailer while he gets to work trimming the mats down to a perfect fit (in theory). Accidentally spray him a little. SWEAR it was an accident. Pretend not to notice the glare you get from PLSSO.

Step 9: After about 20 minutes you’ll hear a loud string of expletives and see a mat go flying in one direction and a box blade go flying in the other. Keep pretending to not notice.

Step 10: Keep scrubbing the trailer while he finally wrestles the mats into place. Casually point out that one of them is overlapping and that just won’t do. Definitely DO NOT NOTICE the glare you’re getting by now.

Step 11: Make a big fuss about how beautiful those almost-straight mats look! PLSSO offers to help scrub down the inside of the trailer, since you can’t really reach the ceiling. Take him up on his offer, then feel kinda bad when he basically covers himself in dirty mold water as it drips down on his head.

Step 12: Ok so maybe you’re like 5 hours into this project at this point, but why stop now? You’ve still got windows to do! PLSSO is actually kind of pumped about this part, because it seems more fun than cutting rubber or getting dripped on. At least… until he accidentally breaks the plexiglass trying to get the window off.

Step 13: Get back in the car. Go back to Lowes. Buy more plexiglass. Don’t even bother trying to buy him candy at the checkout this time, there’s no more sugarcoating his annoyance at this point.

Step 14: Go home and take about 25 tries to get the holes drilled into the plexiglass correctly. PLSSO is really starting to not like your ghetto-ass trailer anymore.

Step 15: Supervise as he insists on cutting the wire mesh so you don’t cut yourself. Watch him cut himself after approximately 3 seconds. Here’s where you should take a step back, because he’s about to yell “I’M JUST GOING TO BUY YOU A NEW EFFING TRAILER, THIS IS RIDICULOUS, THIS PIECE OF BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP…”. Get comfy, that part goes on for a while.

Step 16: Once that’s out of his system, follow him back out to the trailer and help hold things in place while he screws stuff down (and only cracks the plexiglass once), rattling on and on the whole time about possible trailer purchases. PLSSO’s eyes have glazed over by now, he’s dead inside. You’ve got him right where you want him.

Step 17: Start packing everything back into your pretty, shiny, so-fresh-and-so-clean-clean trailer. Step back and admire your amazing handiwork. Look for PLSSO to share this moment with you, but he’s already retreated to the garage and cracked a beer.

Step 18: Order his favorite Chinese food. Thank him about a thousand times for all the help. Continue interjecting thoughts about new trailers… next summer perhaps? He nods and says “Yes. And let’s get a NEW one. A nice new one. I am never ever doing any of this shit again for a long long long time.”

And with those words, you have WON THE DAY! Enjoy your victory! Even if you got a hell of a blister on your thumb and there were no Bandaids left because PLSSO used them all.

*corgi not required, but strongly suggested for levity.

 

48 hours.

That was all it took.

On Thursday, Henry’s face looked like this:

I gave him Friday off, and showed up Saturday morning to this:

WHY THOUGH, HORSE?

It seems like every summer he tries a fun new thing. There was the time all the hair fell off his chest. Then the next summer was a bald spot on his shoulder. Which was the same summer he rubbed the top of his tail out. Oh and let’s not forget the randomly really swollen sheath that one time where I was like omg he’s never going to be able to pee again.

At least he’s consistently inconsistent in his delicate flower-ness? I have come to expect by now that every summer we’re going to have some kind of hair loss and/or skin disaster and/or allergy blowup. I just never really know where or when it will express itself.

But I’ve managed to halt any further progression (and it even looked a bit better this morning) with our favorite fungus products combined with 24/hr fly mask coverage and upping his allergy supplement. Let me tell you how thrilled he is about all THAT. He is so very itchy right now in general, just like every summer. I get that, but I would really appreciate it if he’d at least keep all of his hair where it’s supposed to be. Like… even coverage, at least. No bald spots. Especially not on his face. This mug is so not Instagram worthy right now.

Fairly certain he’s mad at me for riding him at 6am every day and this is his form of payback. Okay, maybe not.

And what was I doing in the 48 hours while he was trying to remove as much hair from his face as possible? Oh ya know… just dropping $$$ and spending hours upon hours (with literal blood, sweat, and near-homicide) to do some upgrades on his wheels. You’re welcome, Henny! But that’s a whine for another day.

 

Yep, the saddle came yesterday!

I’m headed out this morning to try it on Henry and take it for a spin. Fingers crossed we both like it because it’s pretty and I don’t want to give it back. I also forgot how crazy lightweight these saddles are, I was holding it with two fingers.

Last week also brought a couple of other fun new things to my doorstep, namely:

Henry’s Eponia Outlaw bridle. So far I really like it, there are a couple of super smart design features and it looks good on him. It was a bit stiff out of the bag but took conditioner amazingly well (like for real, it was soaking up Belvoir through the backside of the leather like nobody’s business) and has softened up a ton already. I was hesitant to add sparkles to his head but the black and gray are quite subtle. So manly for Henny (who is basically a mare, ironically).

I also nabbed a pair of these bad boys when Millbrook caught me in a weak moment on Instagram and ruthlessly exploited my love for navy (ok maybe that’s not exactly how it went down).  Have to admit, I think they look good, and hopefully this will keep my spurs from denting or rubbing the Tucci’s, because I found a dent on them a couple weeks ago under my spur and was sad.

A couple more Lund things hit my mailbox yesterday too that I can’t wait to test out and share with you guys. I’ve gotten to oil/condition new leather 3 times in the past week, and that’s one of my favorite things in the world to do. These are fun times that we live in, people.

And if you haven’t checked out the 4th of July Sales post yet, get on it! I’ve seen a couple of really good deals, including those bright-ass TuffRider breeches for $20 (if you’re into that kind of thing). Buy yourself something nice, because ‘Merica.

Yep, it’s back, the annual sales list! I’m going to leave this up top for a few days and will keep updating with new sales as they pop up. Hope everyone has a happy holiday!

Teddy’s Tack Trunk – 15% off orders over $50 with coupon code FOURTH

Barn Dog Apparel – shop through the link for 10% off

The Herbal Horse – Spend $25 get 15% off with code USA15, spend $50 get 20% off with code USA20, spend $75 get 25% off with code USA75.

Gray & Co Designs – free shipping on orders over $50 with code FREESHIP50

Ellany Equestrian – 20% off with code FIREWORK

Swanky Saddle – 25% off with coupon code JULY4

Snaks 5th Avenchew – 15% off with code FIREWORKS

Dubarry – summer sale up to 50% off

Parlanti – 20% off from most retailers! Shop direct here with coupon code FOURTH or check your favorite shop.

knixwear – 25% off sitewide with an extra 10% for orders over $150 with code INDEPENDENCE150

Hunt Club – 25% off with code HappyFourth

Emily’s Equine Creations – 20% off orders over $10 with code FREEDOM

USEF – free shipping over $100 with code july4

Joules – extra 10% off sale items

Equestrian Collections – up to 75% off various brands

PS of Sweden – 25% off double bridles

Centerline Style – 25% off with code July4

Flexible Fit – various items in their mid-year sale

Huntley Equestrian – 40% off with code SWEET

Big Dees – 5% off $75 or more w 717, 10% off $175 or more w 718

Ride Heels Down – Free shipping on all apparel

Uckele – 25% off with code FOURTH25

Victory Canter – 15% off orders over $60 with coupon code america

horseloverz – various deals up to 90% off

Horze – up to 70% off

SmartPak – 15% off select brands plus free shipping over $75 with code July17

Dover – 20% off with coupon code CM17JULY4, but of course this seems to be limited to mostly Dover house brands (Riding Sport, Dover Pro, Dover, Circuit, Warendorf, Wellington, Suffolk, Dover Collection Sheets, Rider’s International, Upland, Hug, Cool Blast, Middleburg, NorthWind Blankets, Huntfield, Showmark, Cadence, Equi-Stretch, Crown)

7/3

Ruespari – 15% off with code JULY4TH

Annie’s – 20% off with code SUMMER2017

Ece Equestrian – up to 15% off all custom shirts and made to order Hunt coats.

7/4

Breeches.com – up to 70% off select items

Millbrook Leathers – 20% off with code july4

Drs Foster and Smith – 25% off with code HAPPY4TH and free shipping over $19

Dreamers and Schemers – 20% off with code LONGWEEKEND

Signature Spurs – 10% off with coupon code IHSQUAD

Style Equestrian – 20% off with coupon code FREEDOM

Welsh Wear – 40% off with code 40FORTHE4TH

Exquisite Equine Apparel – 10% off when you shop through the link