I know that in some ways my fashion choices are a little more “out there” than the average person’s. I love something that is a little different, a little unique, and not quite so… boring. Piping, a little bit of color, some kind of pattern, or – one of my absolute favorites – just a tiny touch of bling. Specifically on the back pockets of my breeches. Why, I don’t really know, because lord knows I’d rather no one spend any longer than necessary staring at my butt in a pair of breeches. Yet my white show breeches have bling on the back pockets and not only do I get compliments on those things all the dang time, I love them. Stare at my butt all you want, but you’re gonna need shades, cuz that rear end is blingin’. You can’t really even see it much when I’m showing because it’s covered up by my coat, so to me that’s kind of the best of both worlds. Fancy AF, but covertly.
For as resistant as I was to adding white breeches to my arsenal in the first place, I will admit that I’ve come to love them. A lot. They look so sharp, and although I was afraid of how terribly unflattering they would be, they’re actually one of my most flattering pairs. I like them so much in fact that I’m considering adding a second white pair to the line-up. And to take crazy all the way to insanity, I might even run XC in them, even though it seems to me like white breeches on XC are basically the same as begging to fall off in the water jump. But they’re just so pretty, I see now why so many people do it.
The white pair I have are La Valencio, a brand carried by Divoza, one of my favorite European shops. So when the thought entered my mind to buy another pair, I immediately marched right back over to Divoza. Because let’s face it, if you want fancy pants, the Europeans have got the market cornered.
The first ones that caught my eye were these, which are almost exactly the ones I’ve already got but in a sticky seat version.
But there are a few other cool pairs too:
If your left ass cheek is super into America but your right ass cheek is feeling more British, they’ve got pants for that:
for the more subtly patriotic
Fancy butts are pretty in all colors, not just white:
Silver pegasus tramp stamp, FTW.
Of course Aztec Diamond and Animo (two of my other favorite brands – coincidence? No.) are both fans of butt decorations as well, and naturally – European companies. Come on America, why are we such a cookie cutter snoozefest? Let’s liven things up a bit, starting with our butts.