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As I briefly mentioned in my post on Monday, I’ve decided on a new “big” goal for next year. Because it’s fun to set big goals really far in advance. Just like I did last year with AEC. Not nerve-wracking at all. Nope. Not even a little.

I have always been a fan of long format eventing, or as some people now call it, “classic format”. When I was first introduced to eventing in the early 2000’s, things were just starting to change over to the short format. My one trip to Rolex in 2000 was when they still were still running it the “Classic” way, and I still remember it vividly.

For those who don’t remember or don’t follow eventing, the major difference is that the long format has 4 phases to Cross Country day (called Endurance day) instead of just one. Phase A is Roads and Tracks – basically a w/t/c warm-up of a certain length of time/distance. Phase B is steeplechase – galloping at speed over brush fences. Phase C is more roads and tracks – to cool down from Phase B. And then finally Phase D is cross country itself. Phases A, B, and C are concurrent but there’s a 10 minute hold in the vet box – from which your horse must be cleared as being fit to continue – before Phase D.

While the long format no longer exists at the upper levels, USEA (good ol’ USEA oh how I love thee) started a program in 2012 called the Classic Series. This series allows show organizers to offer long format 3 day events at the lower levels – from BN through Preliminary. Right now there is only one Prelim level 3 Day (in Kentucky) and one BN level 3 Day (in South Carolina), but Novice and Training level are more popular. Surely you guys can see where this is going?

I sat down and looked at the schedule to see who offers a Novice 3DE, and the closest ones are Arizona (Coconino) and Colorado (Colorado Horse Park). Both courses look very straightforward and do-able. Coconino is a 15 hour drive and Colorado is a 13 hour drive – not much difference. They’re both in the summer, just a few weeks apart. Being that Henry is not a hot weather horse, the determining factor was weather. Coconino is in Flagstaff, which is the high desert, so the average high temp for July is 80 and the average low is 50. The lows are cold enough to where I’d have to bring his sheet! IN JULY! What do I say to that? I say SIGN ME THE HELL UP. (I mean really, look at the videos from Coconino and tell me you don’t want to spend a week in the pine trees)

These Classic Series events are pretty damn cool. They set it up such that it’s more like half clinic/half competition. You have meetings where they teach you how to properly present your horse for the jog-up, what to do in the vet box, and steeplechase practice where they help you learn how to ride at speed over fences. You have in-barn inspections and jog-ups. You have 3 separate distinct days of competition, culminating in a show jumping day run in reverse order of standing. You have a whole ‘nother special dressage test to learn (2012 USEA Novice 3-Day Event Test, I’ve got my eye on you).

And that’s not to mention all the prep. The introduction of 3 more phases on XC day creates a unique challenge in itself. The preparation and fitness required for the N3DE are no where near the 4* level of days past, but it’s certainly more than an average Novice level horse would need. The USEA guidelines for N3DE endurance day look like this:

ENDURANCE SPECIFICATIONS – NOVICE

Phase A: Time: 10-16 minutes
Distance: 2200-3520 meters
Speed: 220 mpm (about a medium trot)

Phase B: Time: 2 or 3 minutes
Distance: 940-1410 meters
Speed: 470 mpm (between T and P XC pace – true gallop but not super forward)
Efforts: 3-6
Brush Height: 3’3”
Solid Height: 2’9”

Phase C: Time: 15-25 minutes
Distance: 2400-5500 meters
Speed: 160 or 220 mpm

Phase D: Distance: 1600-2200 meters
Speed: 400 mpm
Efforts: 16-22

Until I get there I won’t know what the exact distances and times are, so I have to just prepare for the max. Can my horse trot for 16 minutes straight, gallop and jump for 3, trot another 25 minutes straight, take a 10 minute break, run XC, and still feel fresh afterward? Not right now, no. As you can see, that’s more work than a Novice horse would typically be prepared to do in one day (unless you’re one of those people that does seriously long and intense warm-ups), especially a day sandwiched between a dressage test/steeplechase practice day and show jumping day. Conditioning is the name of the game and the name of the game is conditioning. The idea isn’t just to survive – the idea is to finish endurance day with a sound, happy, healthy, energetic horse that will pass the jog-up the next day and be raring to go for stadium. They should be fit enough that endurance day is easy.

Interval work, trot sets, and gallop days have already been a part of our repertoire for a while now. Lately I started adding in long trot days (you don’t realize how many walk breaks you normally take until you set out with the intent of trotting for 20 minutes straight) and longer walk days (seriously, try the snoozefest that is known as walking for an hour) as well… we usually have two “conditioning days” per week. Really we won’t start gearing up for Coconino until late winter, but I like for Henry’s base level of fitness to be higher than what he really needs, and always want him to finish XC looking like he can go around again. I truly believe that a fit horse is a sound horse is a capable horse is a confident horse… tired, fat, unfit horses are more susceptible to injury and error. I think the extra miles and time and work will be good for both of us. There will be schedules to make, legs to ice, hooves to pack, and lots of learning to be done.

So there you go. The goal is officially out there on the interwebs now. We’ve got 11 months to plan and get ourselves qualified (just need 3 more completions at Novice) and then get more fit and ready to go. And you know what else long format means? Super important things like jog outfits.

***NOTE: if you’re interested in supporting the Classic Series and long format eventing, visit this site and consider making a donation. All proceeds go to the organizers of classic format events, to help keep them running!

We’ve all seen and heard a lot about rollkur by now, and I think we can all agree that it’s disgusting. Pretty much everyone seems equally horrified and shocked to see it. So the next question is – why is this method of training being rewarded in the show ring?

If you haven’t watched the video of Edward Gal warming up at Aachen, you should. It’s eye opening. Sadly, he sure isn’t alone in his methods.

https://www.facebook.com/DianeBliessen/videos/959979567398339/

What’s more eye opening is the excuses that so many people make for this. “Oh, it’s only for a few minutes” or “Oh, it’s just to stretch his muscles”. Bullshit. This is abusive riding and it’s not ok. The way these horses are trained behind the scenes is very evident in how they show once they’re in the ring. They turn into tense leg-flingers with tight backs, necks bent in an unnatural place, poll low, nose behind the vertical, contact tight, mouths clamped tightly shut with borderline air-restricting nosebands. And yet they are rewarded with good scores from the judges. WHY? This isn’t beautiful, and it isn’t what dressage is meant to be.

The FEI Rules describe the object of Dressage to be “the development of the horse into a happy athlete through harmonious education. As a result, it makes the horse calm, supple, loose and flexible, but also confident, attentive and keen, thus achieving perfect understanding with his rider.”. What you see above isn’t harmony, it’s force and dominance. And these are some of the supposed “best” horse and rider pairs in the world, in the eyes of competitive dressage.

There was also uproar last week about the World Young Dressage Horse finals. Something else you must see. The second place horse looked like this:

If that’s what scores well in competitive, top of the line, international dressage, I want none of it. The only word I can come up with is atrocious. I don’t care how much those legs are moving, this is not beautiful. This is not right. Yet the scores were as follows:

9.3 walk, 9.2 trot, 9.2 canter, 8.5 submission, 8.9 general impression. Total 9.02

A 10 is perfection and they think that’s a 9?

As the article states: “If this is dressage, then we must throw the classical principles out the window,” said one enormously successful trainer of young, and Grand Prix, horses… Aside from a clutch of wildly patriotic Scandinavians, I could find no experienced observer who was not outraged.

What is being rewarded here, with judging like this? Are we saying it’s ok to train young horses to be tense, overbent, and man-handled, all for the sake of flashy gaits? Are we condoning the kind of training that breaks down horse’s bodies and minds (enjoy your retirement, Totilas) and creates a false presentation? Dressage should make a horse better. Stronger. More elastic. More relaxed. Since when has it been a contest to see who can get the flashiest leg movement, at any cost?  Valegro has been a breath of fresh air for the sport, incidents like these are a slap in the face to progress.

This has to change, and if you aren’t outraged you aren’t paying attention. Or you just hate horses. Or you’re completely delusional. Let’s call a spade a spade here – this kind of training is brutality and abuse, plain and simple. We know it’s wrong… the question is: what are we gonna do about it?

I lost my mom yesterday. She’s been ill with cancer for almost 3 years so it was not a surprise but that doesn’t really make it any less difficult. I’ve never really talked about my mom or her health struggles on here, because I didn’t feel like it was my story to tell. But now that she’s gone I feel like it wouldn’t be right to NOT talk about her. She loved this blog, and I think my readers need to know a little bit about the magnificent woman I was lucky enough to call Mom.

My entire life I’ve always been the quintessential Daddy’s girl. As far back as I can remember, I always ran to him for comfort and saw my mother as the “bad guy”. She was the disciplinarian, the one who always said no and didn’t put up with me being a brat. When you’re a kid you don’t really understand those kinds of things, but as an adult I realized that she was just doing her job – molding me into a good person and productive member of society. That realization gives you an entirely different perspective.

We butted heads a lot, especially when I was a teenager, and seemed to always be able to push each others buttons. In retrospect, I think this is because we were a lot more alike than either of us would’ve cared to admit. Both stubborn, both prideful, neither of us lacking conviction. A lot of my other qualities can be credited to her as well… my independence, my love of the written word, my self confidence, my very liberal mindset, and my passion for the arts. Although anyone who has seen me try to sew a button onto a shirt knows that I most assuredly DID NOT inherit her gift for all things crafty. She made the most amazing quilts, she could paint, she could decorate… she could make beautiful things wherever she went with whatever materials you gave her. Her ability to find the beauty in anything was truly a gift. My mother was one of the most creative people I’ve ever known, and she always encouraged that quality in me, even if it meant being “weird”. She loved purple, and her nickname amongst all her quilting buddies was Purple Princess. She was a free thinker in every sense of the word, always with an open mind and big heart.

I think my mom only went to one horse show ever – standing outside in the heat and dirt wasn’t her thing – but she supported me in lots of other ways. She drove me and my friends to the barn after school every single day. She supported me after high school when I decided to delay college to move to the east coast to be a working student. She always bought whatever weird random horse thing was on my Christmas list. She absolutely loved seeing pictures of the horses and hearing updates and seeing ribbons. She was proud of me even when I wasn’t proud of myself. But at the same time, she didn’t just hand me anything… I had to work for it. I might have been the “poor kid” at the barn growing up, but for that I thank her tremendously. I learned what it means to really love something enough to work your ass off for it.

One of the earliest memories I have of my mom is her driving me home from swim practice in our very brown 1980’s era Honda Accord. She’d just gotten the newest B-52’s tape and had the windows cranked all the way down, blaring Love Shack and singing along at the top of her lungs. That was my mom. She did what she pleased and she was who she was, and if you didn’t like it – too bad. She taught me to believe in myself, to speak my mind, and to be my own advocate. She also never once told me that I was incapable of doing something. If I wanted to do it, no matter how far-reaching it sounded, she told me I could. I always felt like my mom believed in me 100% and would support me no matter what, as long as it made me happy. What a tremendous gift that is to a child, to always have that feeling.

I know that my mom went through a lot when she was first diagnosed as terminally ill. It was a shock to all of us. She was a tough lady, bossy as hell, incredibly strong-willed, and I just never imagined she’d be taken down at such a relatively young age by such a nasty disease. The diagnosis was hard on her and she went through a wide range of emotions before settling right where I always knew she would – courage. This is the virtue that I have always considered most important and maybe now I know why… I have always seen it in spades from both of my parents. She faced her illness with honor, with dignity, and with grace. Her strength was always and will always be an inspiration.

It’s easy to get mired down in the sadness. There is a big gaping hole in my heart that no one will ever hope to fill. No one can, and no one should. The hardest thing for me is to think that she won’t be there on the other end of the phone when I have my next inevitable life crisis. She won’t be there at Christmas to wrap nine million tiny presents in 9 million different ways. She won’t be there asking me if I’ve read the latest James Patterson book, or tried the new Mexican restaurant down the street.

But I really can’t be that sad, can I? In a way I don’t feel like I’ve lost anything at all, because so much of her is so deeply rooted in me. How incredibly lucky was I, to be able to call this amazing woman Mom? Lots of other people out there would have traded places with me in a heartbeat, and lots of other people didn’t get as much time with their mothers as I did. So I’ll let myself feel the sadness for a while, but then it’ll be time to crank those windows down and sing along to Love Shack once again.

The word “goodbye” doesn’t seem quite right to end this post… something about it just isn’t HER. Since she loved to travel, instead I’ll say Bon Voyage.

I’m sure many of you will ask if there’s anything you can do – there is. Call your mom today, if you’re lucky enough to still have her. Wear something purple. Roll down your windows and have a good sing along to Love Shack on your way home from work. Be weird, love yourself, and don’t take no for an answer. Be unapologetically YOU. And always, always give ’em hell. That’s how we honor her, and it means a lot more than flowers or condolences ever could.

Obviously by the three C’s I mean corgis, Costco, and conditioning. Duh.

Last week I turned 32, which seems pretty impossible. I constantly wonder how it’s even feasible that I’m considered an adult, much less a REAL adult. Like… confirmed. Like… solidly into my 30’s now. I’m pretty sure I like unicorns too much to be a full fledged adult… I feel like I need to call a time out while we get this sorted because surely there was a mistake somewhere.

My immaturity was evidenced in full force by our Costco trip on Friday night. (Ok I know what you’re thinking – going to Costco on a Friday night seems like a pretty grown-up thing to do. It was Rob’s idea. He’s an actual adult.) Rob is over there putting spinach and Tillamook and socks into the cart, and my two contributions were Poptarts and Black Beauty. Because who can resist 48 Poptarts for $6? And you have to admit this edition of Black Beauty is pretty awesome… the cover is a kind of rubbery texture with engraved lettering.

In other news, I’m happy to report that Quinn is settling in really well. I think he’s figured out that we’re his people now and he’s gotten pretty snuggly and sweet. Except for when you bathe him. It’s hard to accurately describe what it’s like to wrestle this furball into the tub, but my best comparison would be that it’s something akin to trying to dip a miniature grizzly bear in battery acid.

Poor Quinn has had some stomach issues the past couple weeks that have been driving me (and subsequently my poor vet friend) pretty crazy. After some experimentation with his food we seem to finally have it under control. Remember those days when you used to exchange sweet, or even romantic text messages with your significant other? Insert a miniature grizzly bear with sporadic liquid shits into the equation and those text messages end up looking more like this:

 This is the life, y’all. Does that count as adulting?

I also spent some time at my parents house this weekend with family, and went through some old stuff. My dad found a ring that my Grandpa made for me just before he died 15 years ago. It’s gorgeous and miraculously (albeit barely) fits. I’ll have to figure out what the gemstone is… it’s deep green kinda like an emerald but there’s a very definite blue hue to it. Almost like a super dark teal.

I did ride Henry both days this weekend, one of which was a fairly awful dressage ride and the other of which was a fairly good long conditioning ride. I’ve been focusing a lot more on conditioning and fitness lately, and a new goal that I’ve made for next year makes it even more important, so I spent some time writing down a plan going forward. I’m going to talk more about both later this week so there’s not much Henry to be had in this post except for his opinion of hot summer days.

And in case anyone was wondering, Merlin is still a terrorist. Poor Sadie. I have photos from their RPSI inspection that I need to post at some point… he’s such a good looking colt, when he’s not kicking his mother in the head.

Put on your rainbow thinking caps and grab your glittery cameras, it’s time for a contest!

In honor of AEC/ATC I’m giving away a prize pack of unicorn paraphernalia and other cool prizes to one majestic reader. Let’s start with the fun part:

What you win

• THE glittery star whip used by Bobby at AEC/ATC, autographed by the man himself
• A Riding Warehouse hat
• A jar of Uncle Jimmy’s Squeezy Buns
• A “Got Balls?” Uncle Jimmy’s T-shirt (size L)
• a pack of 5 bumper stickers with such lovely phrases as “Got Balls?”, “Lick This”, “I’m Haulin Balls”, “Size Matters”, and “Squeeze My Buns”
• A Unicorns are Jerks coloring book
• an official “Always be a Unicorn” team bracelet
• two unicorn and rainbow elastic no-crease hairbands
• a glittery foil unicorn temporary tattoo
• a packet of unicorn food (aka Skittles)
• a pair of rainbow sunglasses
• Gypsy Tails tail extensions
• One MYSTERY PRIZE to be purchased, found, or stolen at AEC by myself and Bobby. Lord only knows what that might be, but you know you can’t wait to find out.

How you win

• Send me a picture that you think best represents our team’s theme of “Always be a Unicorn”. It can be extremely literal, it can be subtle, it can be anything you can possibly think of, as long as it represents that theme.
• The picture must include either you and/or your horse, or have been taken by you. No stock photos. Don’t be a lame unicorn.
• The photo may be edited however you choose.
• You can either send me a link to the photo via the ‘Contact Me’ page here, or you can message it to me directly via my facebook page. Make sure you send me your email address so I can contact you if you win.

The Fine Print (aka the important stuff)

• Entries are due by September 21, 2015. You have plenty of time to be amazing.
• You may submit up to THREE photos per person.
• The contest will be judged by myself and Bobby, we will pick a winner together.
• Please understand that by sending me the photo you are giving me permission to post it here on the blog.
• A winner will be chosen by September 28, 2015.

So go forth, be amazing, get creative, and remember…