Swear Words

Honestly if you want to make me buy things, just create a “swear words” collection of horse stuff and make normal boring items completely inappropriate by slathering them with various 4 letter words. I am like a moth to a flame and I can’t even help it. Especially in 2020… what better to sum up the status quo than a bunch of expletives?

I found my way to this collection completely by chance, while looking for a fun flymask for Henry. We’re past the worst of fly season here now, but they’ll be back in the fall, and somehow neither of the fly masks I own fit either of my horses. Presto can’t wear one, he’ll just pull it off, but Henry generally seems to appreciate having one. I’d also like one that I could ride in during gnat season. Who wants a boring fly mask though? So I stumbled across the above Swear Words fly mask, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything so perfectly suited for Henry in my life. He is the king curmudgeon, and I’m pretty sure he says “for fuck’s sake” to me more often than anything else. Well ok it might be a tie with “bitch please”. Either way, this mask has all of Henry’s favorite expressions covered.

But naturally… it’s in Australia. WTF is up with y’all down under? Why is ALL THE COOLEST STUFF from Australia? Punk Ponies, Sweet Iron Co, Valentine Equine, Black Horse Clothing, Emcee, Hufglocken…. I could keep going. Seriously, it’s ridiculous. And the prices are always great too. But ya know, if I’m gonna ship a fly mask from Australia I may as well see what else they’ve got too, right? And boy… they have a lot. They even knew how to speak directly to my soul via pompoms.

I was rolling. There are even fly bonnets and saddle pads and tail bags. They also have a whole bunch of non-sweary stuff too I guess but like… pffft who’s even interested in that?

In the end I settled on this particular gem, which seemed to cover pretty much everything. It can be my schooling helmet cover. Of course, it’s the style meant to go over a brimmed helmet rather than a skull cap, but I can do some quick DIY surgery on it at home and convert it. I had to have it, it was too good.

It said at the top of their website that international shipping was temporarily suspended but it let me place the order and the next day I got a shipping notification and a tracking number, so… we’ll see how long it takes this particular Australia package to catch a plane. I won’t need the fly mask for a few more months probably anyway so it’s fine, I can wait.

I also had to order Henry a new leather halter (thank god I found one I liked in the US, small miracle). His old one had really been battered severely, and finally a few weeks ago he broke one of the cheekpieces just by trying to bite at a fly in the crossties. The leather was getting really rotted and it had sustained plenty of various damage over the years. It was past time to retire it.

thats a problem

I wanted something a little bit more unique for his new one and started off looking at colored ones and padded ones and anatomical ones and all that stuff before I finally searched for braided ones. That led me to this one at Fritt’s Tack.

I really liked the style, it was different but still super classy and I thought it might be flattering on Henry’s slightly boxy head. Plus the price was good. I really didn’t want to drop $100+ on a new halter.

It is super pretty in person, I like it a lot. It doesn’t look like a relatively inexpensive halter. I also think it suits his head really nicely. This might be my new favorite! It does run a bit big though, if you’re thinking of ordering one. I got the full but easily could have gotten the cob. Still, two thumbs up.

I also won an Instagram contest for a Halter Ego gift card. Or rather, the video of Henry annihilating an Oatmeal Cream Pie won a gift card. Naturally, I gravitated directly to their page of bridles. Yeah I know, I already have too many bridles. But wouldn’t this one look really cute on Presto…



with the Punk Rock browband he already has?

Yes it would. You know I’m right.

And in my defense, I really don’t have a plain brown bridle for him to show in. I have a hunt bridle, a figure eight, a bitless, his green bridle, a hunter bridle that I’m giving away because it’s way too red-toned and looks so terrible on him that it hurts my eyeballs, the cob one that he grew out of a year ago, and a hackamore. No plain brown bridles that fit Presto. And while I love the green one, I don’t think I want to show him in that. So theoretically he does need a show-worthy brown bridle for next year. Tooootally justifiable.

Plus it’s a gift card, leave me alone. I can feel you judging me from here. It’ll look cute on him, trust me.

maybe the heat is melting my brain cells? have pity.

But that does kind of bring me to my next issue: I have A LOT of shit to sell. Like a lot. I’m gonna give away a good chunk of things to friends, but that still leaves lots of horse stuff that needs to go before the tiny house happens. Like I could probably have my own tack swap just with my stuff alone. But considering that there’s the covid thing going on right now… how are you guys selling stuff? I really don’t want to make a bunch of trips to the post office (edited to add: and I don’t have a printer at home so i can’t print my own labels). I also don’t want randos coming to my house, nor do I want to meet people somewhere because of the massive covid surge in the city and I just don’t love the idea of deliberately coming into direct contact with people I don’t know (will they be one of those nutjob anti-maskers? WHO KNOWS.). I thought maybe I could just send one big package off to a consignment place but 1) I dunno if they’d want all my various shit, I’ve got clothes and tack and blankets and books and electronics and just… all kinds of stuff. Some of it is worth decent money, but some of it isn’t really worth much at all. 2) I don’t know which place to send it to since I’ve never done anything via consignment.

So what are y’all doing right now with your sale stuff right now when “hanging on to it” isn’t really an option? Just thinking about how to get rid of the excess sends me right into swear words territory.

37 thoughts on “Swear Words

  1. Those helmet covers are GOLD. I love them. “What a cunt of a day” is such a great phrase. That new halter is also GORGEOUS.


  2. FWIW, my post office that is normally PACKED and undersized for the community has been nearly empty every time I went lately, even at “rush hour”. So I’ve continued to sell and ship. YMMV, clearly, but I was shocked – I have literally never not waited in line there until the pandemic started, and now it’s in and out, every single time.


  3. Love the halter and I think the bridle is a good choice for Presto. No judging from me. He deserves his own bridle collection, too.
    Can’t you offer the things you want to sell with a shipping day? Like “everything paid for by X will be send by Y”? So you only have one run per week or every two weeks?
    You don’t have package stations, like the Amazon lockers, from USPS, do you? I love the ones we have from DHL, especially right now….


  4. I think your best bet for your volume is to sell in Facebook groups or the like. And surely you could pick up standard sized boxes to box stuff at home, then do postage online and drop it off at UPS or the Post Office once a week or something. You could do consignment, but you’d likely have to use 2-4 different consignment shops to get the best bang for your buck.
    I’ll help, send me a list of books and I can have an Austin contact pick them up for me. 🙂


    1. I’m actually willing to give away my “vintage” book collection to an excellent home as one whole package, I have a lot of 70’s/80’s/90’s Eventing books that are really cool. Just not sure what an excellent home would be for those.


      1. Me!! I’m actually storing them up so I can gift them and/or start my new and used bookstore one day. But it would be a lot of shipping to get them here. 😦


  5. Did you like how your old halter for Henry held up? I remember when you got it and really liked the company. I want one for my paint mare for my birthday (yeah, she gets gifts on her birthday and mine wth) and everything else seems super expensive and/or not what I’m looking for. It wouldn’t be her daily halter, I just want a nice leather halter with name plates. She has a cute, dainty head and obvs needs a personalized halter to show it off. Or something…
    Do we really need to justify things for our horses? Seems like a waste of energy.
    Also, I have a Tipperary Sportage helmet so those covers won’t fit on it (thankfully) or it’d be goodbye money!


  6. I haven’t done a mass clean out in a while, but I prefer to sell what I can on Facebook or ebay and then take the rest to the local tack store with a consignment program. I typically do the click and ship through paypal, then you can set up a pick up time, or just drop it all off at the post office already packaged with the label. Makes it pretty easy.


  7. you can order the flat rate shipping boxes to be delivered to your house, pay and print shipping labels and then have them picked up. No visits to the post office at all!


    1. Although I don’t have a printer. :/ I don’t know if just writing the address on the flat rate boxes is sufficient? I would assume not since their labels have bar codes?


  8. You can ship everything from home via usps without ever leaving your house or stepping foot in the post office. Just get the packages delivered to you endpoint the labels at home. If you sell via facebook or other groups that use PayPal, you can print shipping labels through paypal and they’re discounted from the USPS regular rate.


      1. Pro tip: you can buy a cheap printer on amazon and never go to the post office again. Just sell that stupid kitchen appliance you literally never use but takes up counter space and put it them.


        1. what sprinklerbandits said. Its 100% worth investing in a cheapo ($50-$70) printer + cartridge to be able to sell stuff online. Mine has paid for itself many times over with the amount of crap I have been able to sell on ebay, poshmark etc. You can always donate it when you are ready to get into tiny house. PLus it has proven useful for when I need to print out something last minute – like concert tickets. I’ve found that I’m able to get MUCH more for every item if I list it online as opposed to tack swap or consignment stores, you just have to be a little more patient.

          you can order boxes and tyvek envelopes for FREE at USPS and then priority mail that stuff on outta here! If you don’t want to schedule a pick-up, your local post office and (most) UPS stores actually have a drop-box for pre-labeled packages so you won’t even have to wait in line! Just cruise on in there and drop the boxes off. You don’t need to speak to a single soul.


  9. Got the breaking news bonnets… your fault.
    Anyway, I’ve been sending all my stuff to Used Horse Stuff mostly. But they are really slow, and you don’t get a lot back. So I’ve been thinking of selling stuff myself just via Facebook. You can print postage at home and just have your mail carrier pick it up. But you do need boxes or envelopes or whatever. So that’s been holding me back. I also have a shit ton of stuff to sell.
    Usually I wind up just donating my stuff to a therapeutic riding program nearby when I get fed up with looking at it. I may see if Ebony Horsewomen wants it this year.


  10. I will never ever judge you for buying excessive horse things- just saying. I personally don’t need that negativity in my
    life LOL. There is nothing wrong with having 7 blankets, 3 scrims/mesh sheets, 4 coolers, and 2 quarter sheets for one horse and I refuse to let anyone tell me otherwise.


  11. Just want to plus one the Rider’s Closet option – but from the perspective of someone who benefitted from it! In the past I had financial issues for medical reasons (fucking damn it America) while still trying to be able to ride and they provided me some breeches and tops that I desperately needed after mine had all worn out completely. The sport is so expensive that it meant a lot to just get some kind of break!


  12. LOVE those helmet covers. I think I need one now. And yes, that is a beautiful bridle. No judgement here – I vote buy it now! Or, you know, 2 others? I vote for all the things lolol. I LOVE that leather halter, too. I haven’t found a leather one I really really love yet, and I definitely like the way that looks on Henry. That’ll go on a wish list for sure!

    I have had plenty of success with just USPS boxes and writing the addresses on the boxes since the boxes have their own barcodes and that’s what gets scanned. But, the last thing I sent was early 2019, so I don’t know if it’s a little different now.


  13. Facebook has been my go to for selling tack!! Call me crazy but I actually love the selling part, I even started selling it for many of the boarders at my barn. Amazing what people will buy over Facebook, and it sells fast too! You get to recoup so much more of your money too rather than sending it to a consignment shop. Message me if you’re interested or want any help.


  14. Okay, I’m in Australia, and I didn’t know about those! Thanks!
    Also worried for you in crazy USA with COVID going through the roof. Stay safe! There’s no Covid in my state, (Tasmania) no masks, it’s all normal again. Fingers crossed you guys can get it under control. Xx


  15. Just note to say not everything cool is from Australia, FYI Punk Ponies is from New Zealand, and yes that’s a whole different country! Just a heads up for y’all there in South Canada 😉


  16. As someone who owns at least 8 bridles and does not currently have a horse broke to ride, I offer no judgement on anything. lol And besides – Presto needs to look the part, right? Love the swear words stuff. It makes me want to order helmet covers and I’m not even riding right now! lol


  17. Hello, we’ve just stumbled upon your article. Thanks so much for featuring our cheeky swear word range, we’re over the moon to see all your positive comments 🙂

    Catherine and the Buggez Bugeyes team

    Liked by 1 person

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