Honestly if you want to make me buy things, just create a “swear words” collection of horse stuff and make normal boring items completely inappropriate by slathering them with various 4 letter words. I am like a moth to a flame and I can’t even help it. Especially in 2020… what better to sum up the status quo than a bunch of expletives?
I found my way to this collection completely by chance, while looking for a fun flymask for Henry. We’re past the worst of fly season here now, but they’ll be back in the fall, and somehow neither of the fly masks I own fit either of my horses. Presto can’t wear one, he’ll just pull it off, but Henry generally seems to appreciate having one. I’d also like one that I could ride in during gnat season. Who wants a boring fly mask though? So I stumbled across the above Swear Words fly mask, and I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything so perfectly suited for Henry in my life. He is the king curmudgeon, and I’m pretty sure he says “for fuck’s sake” to me more often than anything else. Well ok it might be a tie with “bitch please”. Either way, this mask has all of Henry’s favorite expressions covered.
But naturally… it’s in Australia. WTF is up with y’all down under? Why is ALL THE COOLEST STUFF from Australia? Punk Ponies, Sweet Iron Co, Valentine Equine, Black Horse Clothing, Emcee, Hufglocken…. I could keep going. Seriously, it’s ridiculous. And the prices are always great too. But ya know, if I’m gonna ship a fly mask from Australia I may as well see what else they’ve got too, right? And boy… they have a lot. They even knew how to speak directly to my soul via pompoms.
In the end I settled on this particular gem, which seemed to cover pretty much everything. It can be my schooling helmet cover. Of course, it’s the style meant to go over a brimmed helmet rather than a skull cap, but I can do some quick DIY surgery on it at home and convert it. I had to have it, it was too good.
It said at the top of their website that international shipping was temporarily suspended but it let me place the order and the next day I got a shipping notification and a tracking number, so… we’ll see how long it takes this particular Australia package to catch a plane. I won’t need the fly mask for a few more months probably anyway so it’s fine, I can wait.
I also had to order Henry a new leather halter (thank god I found one I liked in the US, small miracle). His old one had really been battered severely, and finally a few weeks ago he broke one of the cheekpieces just by trying to bite at a fly in the crossties. The leather was getting really rotted and it had sustained plenty of various damage over the years. It was past time to retire it.
I wanted something a little bit more unique for his new one and started off looking at colored ones and padded ones and anatomical ones and all that stuff before I finally searched for braided ones. That led me to this one at Fritt’s Tack.
I really liked the style, it was different but still super classy and I thought it might be flattering on Henry’s slightly boxy head. Plus the price was good. I really didn’t want to drop $100+ on a new halter.
It is super pretty in person, I like it a lot. It doesn’t look like a relatively inexpensive halter. I also think it suits his head really nicely. This might be my new favorite! It does run a bit big though, if you’re thinking of ordering one. I got the full but easily could have gotten the cob. Still, two thumbs up.
I also won an Instagram contest for a Halter Ego gift card. Or rather, the video of Henry annihilating an Oatmeal Cream Pie won a gift card. Naturally, I gravitated directly to their page of bridles. Yeah I know, I already have too many bridles. But wouldn’t this one look really cute on Presto…
with the Punk Rock browband he already has?
Yes it would. You know I’m right.
And in my defense, I really don’t have a plain brown bridle for him to show in. I have a hunt bridle, a figure eight, a bitless, his green bridle, a hunter bridle that I’m giving away because it’s way too red-toned and looks so terrible on him that it hurts my eyeballs, the cob one that he grew out of a year ago, and a hackamore. No plain brown bridles that fit Presto. And while I love the green one, I don’t think I want to show him in that. So theoretically he does need a show-worthy brown bridle for next year. Tooootally justifiable.
Plus it’s a gift card, leave me alone. I can feel you judging me from here. It’ll look cute on him, trust me.
But that does kind of bring me to my next issue: I have A LOT of shit to sell. Like a lot. I’m gonna give away a good chunk of things to friends, but that still leaves lots of horse stuff that needs to go before the tiny house happens. Like I could probably have my own tack swap just with my stuff alone. But considering that there’s the covid thing going on right now… how are you guys selling stuff? I really don’t want to make a bunch of trips to the post office (edited to add: and I don’t have a printer at home so i can’t print my own labels). I also don’t want randos coming to my house, nor do I want to meet people somewhere because of the massive covid surge in the city and I just don’t love the idea of deliberately coming into direct contact with people I don’t know (will they be one of those nutjob anti-maskers? WHO KNOWS.). I thought maybe I could just send one big package off to a consignment place but 1) I dunno if they’d want all my various shit, I’ve got clothes and tack and blankets and books and electronics and just… all kinds of stuff. Some of it is worth decent money, but some of it isn’t really worth much at all. 2) I don’t know which place to send it to since I’ve never done anything via consignment.
So what are y’all doing right now with your sale stuff right now when “hanging on to it” isn’t really an option? Just thinking about how to get rid of the excess sends me right into swear words territory.