Month: September 2015

As promised, The Shitshow starring Amanda and Bobby: Episode One. Your behind the scenes look at the American Eventing Championships 2015! Episode One features some snippets from our drive, our arrival, the unveiling of the coveted competitors packet, a little bit of hack footage, and a preview of THE UNICART.

The audio kind of sucks when we’re in the car but hopefully you can hear it alright. It gets better once we’re out.

Behind the scenes at AEC

Let me know if there’s anything else that you’d specifically like to see and we’ll do our best to cover it!

I will be the first to admit that I’m a really hard person to please. I always want more, bigger, better… I constantly seek what’s next, and I’m very competitive. Those aren’t such bad qualities in general, I don’t think, but it does mean that I rarely take the time to stop and just enjoy the moment. Today, the day that we’re making our way to Tyler for the American Eventing Championships, I’m going to take that moment.

When Henry did his very first event last November and I subsequently made the goal of getting to AEC this year, at the time it was pretty far-reaching. At that point he had cross country schooled twice, done one event (with a refusal), he really didn’t understand contact at all, and I’d been out of the sport for 12 years. Dressage made my brain feel like it was going to explode, and I couldn’t ride a down bank properly to save my life. AEC was our Mount Everest.

Then he came out this spring and has just gotten better and better as we’ve gone along. He’s been so brave, and so game, and tried so hard for me every step of the way. When you’re sitting on a horse that always tries and really loves his job, it becomes easy to forget just how different things were such a short time ago.  We qualified for AEC in only 3 shows and moved up to Novice in June. We actually have the qualifying placings to run Novice at AEC, but would need one more completion at the level. If you’d told me last year that we’d be in that situation right now, on the eve of Championships, I’d have laughed in your face. And yet I had the audacity to be kind of bummed that we’re “only” running BN at AEC… and what a jackass frame of mind that is. I felt guilty as soon as I thought it. It’s not fair to me, it’s not fair to my horse, and it’s not fair to anyone else.

Thousands of people would trade places with me in a heartbeat and I know that. I have to set aside my ridiculous overambition and self-criticism for the next 5 days and just enjoy how far we’ve come. I know that I would have to get really lucky to snag a ribbon in this group of horses, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. This sport isn’t supposed to be about ribbons and awards, it’s supposed to be about the partnerships we make along the way. We’re going to do the best we can, and that’s enough. My goal is to simply enjoy my horse and be ridiculously proud of him for getting us here in the first place.

Henry is a lot of wonderful things, but a dressage star he is not. Neither am I (understatement of the year). He’s come a long way from the horse he started out as and I’d like to think that I have at least marginally improved as a rider, but I know it’ll take quite a while for dressage to really come to us. I also know that BN and N are largely dressage competitions. I’m okay with all of that, even when I’m sitting there pouting about my scores. I owe a lot to this horse… he’s making my dreams come true and saving my ass a lot along the way. On the flip side, he owes me absolutely nothing. He’s goofy, he’s ridiculous, he’s plain, he’s not a good mover, and he’s very sensitive, but he is utterly golden all the way to his core. You just can’t fault a horse for trying too hard to please, even when it comes out in the form of tension in the rectangle.

So no matter what happens over the next few days, be it last place or a much coveted ribbon, I am going to enjoy and appreciate my horse. I’m going to be happy with us and proud of us, and I’m not going to belittle this milestone in our partnership. He is enough. I am enough. This is enough. I adore and appreciate Henry, and I hope he understands that as much as a horse possibly can.

And with that… away we go.

I’m sure the roller coaster known as saddle selling is familiar to almost all equestrians. At some point in our lives, or at many points in our lives for the truly unlucky, we have to suffer through this emotionally hellish experience. It’s a very tempestuous time, and not many of us come out on the other side unscathed. Let’s break down the process in gif form.

1 – Worry

First there’s worry. Worry that your saddle doesn’t fit you or your horse right. Worry that it won’t work out. Worry that you’ll have to SELL IT and buy something else.

2 – Sadness

Then you confirm that the saddle in fact does not work, and you do in fact have to sell it. Cue unrelenting sadness.

3 – Panic

After the first wave of depression begins to subside, you realize that you need the money from the current saddle to buy a new one. In the mean time, you have nothing suitable to ride in. Time to panic.

4 – Anxiety

Now that you’ve spent a few days hyperventilating into a paper bag, it’s time to list it for sale. Don’t forget to clean it, condition it, measure it 6 ways to Sunday, take approximately 9 million pictures, write up an ad, and plaster it all over the internet (because lets be honest, you’re still a little panicked). Feeling any anxiety yet?

5 – Annoyance

Don’t worry, the anxiety will soon be replaced with annoyance when you start getting a thousand messages asking for measurements and information that you already included in the ad. Because reading is hard. Try to stifle the sarcasm in your replies. Almost succeed. Just kidding, fail miserably.

6 – Exasperation

Then you get that one delusional moron that offers you half of the listing price. I guess they’re hoping either you REALLY can’t math or you have a serious drug addiction and need cash right this second to avoid prostitution. Now you’re officially exasperated.

7 – RAGE

Brace yourself for the next idiot. This one will ask you to send the saddle to her for a trial, promising to provide references to prove that she is “of trustworthy character”. When you say no (not just no, hell no), she lectures you for 5 minutes on the importance of saddle fit and tells you she MUST try it on her horses. You manage to keep it together long enough to suggest that perhaps she should try a tack shop that offers trials instead. When she replies and says she can’t because all the saddles like yours are significantly more expensive from a shop, hide all the sharp objects. You’re about to enter the phase of Pure Unadulterated Rage.

8 – Delusion

Consider riding bareback for the rest of your life. No seriously… really consider it. How bad could it be? You don’t really need your lady bits anyway. We’ll call this phase delusion.

9 – Love

And then finally, FINALLY that one sane person in the entire world comes along and a deal is struck. As you’re packing the box to ship the saddle off you consider including a small token of gratitude… like your first born child, or basket of puppies. That wouldn’t be weird right? Because now you’re pretty sure you’re in love with this random internet stranger who has rescued you from a pit of despair and/or a murder spree.

10 – Relief

Once the saddle has been dropped off at the shipper, you take a minute to enjoy the feeling. Relief and joy fill your very soul.. it’s like the first warm sunny day after a long brutal winter. You have money in your pocket, you’re liberated from answering 15 stupid messages a day, and now you’re free to buy a new saddle.

Oh shit. Buy a new saddle? Motherf*c#3r! Climb back on the emotional roller coaster, this ride ain’t over yet.

Only two more days til we leave for AEC! That means the weekend was spent cramming lots of stuff into what is kind of the last minute.  Ride Times:

The weekend preparations included but were not limited to:

Dying rainbow streaks into my hair. Team spirit, I gots it. And so does my pink and purple and blue hair.

I did one last jump school with Henry, probably just high enough to make him think that BN at 2’7″ is a hilarious joke. Please don’t have rails Henry. Please?

I also dyed Halo’s tail for Bobby, because once he stopped making fun of me for dying Henry’s tail he realized how awesome it looks. And Halo’s looks even better. Now when Bobby wins AEC he’ll have to thank me in his acceptance speech for making him and his horse look so bad ass.

Otherwise I mostly did laundry (had to locate all 7 of my unicorn shirts and 4 pairs of unicorn socks, naturally), finished some props for the course walk (it’s going to be amazing) and started making lists. There’s no way I’ll remember everything, but I’m gonna try.

I also fit in half a day of work on Saturday afternoon (woot, overtime), and when I couldn’t find my sandals I settled on the next best thing. Because I can wear whatever I want when no one else is around. I’m thinking I should do the mechanical bull riding competition at the competitor’s dinner in these bad boys…

Annnnnnnnnd, last but certainly not least: guess what I did on Sunday? Surprise!!!!

She needs a little cosmetic work, but she’s solid and I’m ridiculously excited.

If you’ll be attending AEC next week, please consider yourself officially invited to our team party on Thursday night. Invite here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1720133364885993/

We’ll be having unicorn races (you know you want to find out what that entails), pin the horn on the unicorn, drinks, Skittles, and swag for everyone. Riding Warehouse has even made a special promo code for us to give out (use “unicorn” for 15% off!) and donated gift cards for us to give away. It’s guaranteed to be a good time, and everyone is welcome.

If you won’t be at AEC and still want swag, don’t forget about The Sparkliest Contest Ever. You will win everything in this picture and MORE!!! Entries are due Monday, so you’ve got all weekend to unicorn it up. We’ll announce the winners after AEC.

I’m considering trying to put together some behind the scenes mini-webisodes (like 5-10 minutes long) to post while we’re at AEC… is anyone actually interested in watching those? It would mostly be me and Bobby doing whatever dumb things we will inevitably do, footage from parties, back at the barn, etc. Yes or no?

And totally unrelated, but I have a pair of tan Animo breeches (plain on the back, so suitable for showing) in an I-44 (US 30) for sale if anyone is interested! $120 shipped in the US.