Unanticipated Side Effects

On Saturday afternoon my friend Stacy proposed that we meet at Dover and then go get Indian food. Which, if you’re after my heart, that’s the surefire way, it takes about 0% convincing to get me to go along with a plan like that. I didn’t need anything at Dover, but I’m always up to poke around and see what they’ve got. Plus, like… if they had some white breeches that I didn’t hate, I wasn’t opposed to adding a pair.

And then, a couple days before, I found myself lusting after a coat and shirt online.

if you make a shirt and coat that coordinate I will 9 times out of 10 want to buy them both
Hy Equestrian Roka Rose Show Shirt | Manor Equestrian
I love shirts with unique little details on them plus it’s NAVY so like…

They’re in the UK, naturally, because every damn thing I love is always from overseas. The brand’s size chart was a little wonky looking, and in centimeters, so I figured I’d do the responsible thing and actually measure myself instead of guessing at size. I measured… looked, and… huh. That measurement was a couple inches less than it used to be. So I measured two more times. Yup, that shit shrunk. This led me to go pull out all my Motionlite coats, which used to fit pretty well, and son of a bitch if they weren’t too big. Like… the bust and arms were saggy. I could fit an arm down the front of the coat. That’s not a cute look for riding clothes, y’all.

I mean, yes… since I got my spin bike in late February I’ve been riding it 6 days a week without fail since the day I got it because I love it. And I added weights 5x a week a couple months ago because turns out I really like that too when I’m in the privacy of my own home and not in a gym being leered at by creeps. I haven’t done it to lose weight though, I’m doing it because I took one look at Presto with a pro on him and was like “Damn bitch, you’re going to have to get a lot stronger if you think you’re going to stand a chance at riding that thing right”. And it’s true, I needed to – and still need to – get a lot stronger. He is a big horse that is A Lot to manage and I want to at least be physically up to the task by the time he comes home. I don’t even own a scale though (bad things happen when you give me metrics like that to obsess over, I learned that a long time ago), or even a full length mirror in the tiny house yet (who knows what I ever look like when I actually go out in public, I sure don’t have a clue). Plus like, 99% of the time whatever pants I have on are elasticized since I work from home these days. I did have to go buy new jeans a month ago and ended up with a size smaller than before so I knew there had been some changes in my size at least. Mostly I’m just excited that I can tell that I really do feel A LOT stronger, my core is noticeably improved, and my arms are starting to get some nice shape and tone. I totally failed to consider what these changes meant for my riding clothes though, particularly my show clothes.

that ONE TIME I wore my green coat…

Confession: I don’t put on real breeches that often, I usually wear my tights with the phone pocket when I’m riding at home. So after I tried on my coats I pulled out my whites and they were a bit sad-sacky too, although mostly in the waist. I always shrink from the top down (the boobs are the first to go, and that’s a-ok with me), I’ve got these big old child-bearing hips (that have never and shall never bear a child, thank you very much) and meaty thighs that always stay proportionately bigger than my top half. So now I find myself kind of in between sizes on breeches and all of mine are gapping majorly at the waist. I was hoping Dover might have some that either ran a little big or ran a little small and would fit my in-betweenness nicely, but no luck there. Mostly because out of the many racks of breeches there was only ONE model that I actually liked the feel of the fabric, but they were full seat with way too much silicone. I didn’t even try any on. We need to talk about fabric and how to use silicone appropriately, breech companies. It doesn’t need to look like you used 15 sticks of hot glue on the ass.

Since we were at Dover anyway, I found my way to the rack of Motionlites and tried on the size down from what mine are. I expected the smaller size to be too small still (because in-betweenness) but I’ll be damned if it didn’t fit way better. No more saggy arms or bust in the smaller size. DAMN. IT. My carefully curated collection of Motionlites – 3 to be exact – was undeniably too big. One of mine still had the tags on and another had been worn a grand total of once. I thought for a second that maybe I could just forget how much better the other size was compared to my current ones, but no… it was one of those things you can’t unfeel. Hence me coming home and listing all my coats for sale the next day. As soon as I sell the last one I will replace the navy and the hunter green ones with other size and we’ll call it a wash. All of this to say that if you see me with new coats and shit, or selling things, don’t be judgy… this is why.

damon dont judge | TV Recappers Anonymous

I did order the pretty coat and shirt from the UK though, and since I sat kind of perfectly between sizes on their chart (OF COURSE I DO) I ended up just ordering two sizes of the coat and two sizes of the shirt. I’ll sell whichever ones don’t fit for what they cost me to buy it, and someone here will get the benefit of not having to pay UK shipping, and I’ll get the benefit of not having to make a decision and end up with the wrong size. Win-win?

I did buy one thing at Dover though, and that was a sun shirt. As much as I don’t like most of their house brand stuff, I do think their sunshirts are decent, and they had one in a gorgeous steel blue color that I loved. I wore it for my lesson on Monday and 10/10 would recommend, it’s my new favorite color sunshirt I think. Looks on point with navy.

I swear it’s really pretty in real life, it looks drab in their pic

I have a few other sunshirts I need to sell, as soon as I can wrap my brain around it. There was one boon in all of this unanticipated spur of the moment clothes-trying-on at least – my beloved yellow and navy Boy O Boy belt that hasn’t fit in like 3 years actually fits again! And looks smashing with the steel blue shirt/navy pants combo. So glad I kept it!

I need to get another sale post organized when I have the energy. Today is not that day.

13 thoughts on “Unanticipated Side Effects

  1. Thanks for *making* me go try on coats too. Bc I didn’t even really know I had a problem until YOU pointed it out 😂

    And now I need to sell coats to buy coats too.

    I’m wondering if BOB can do some TLC and shorten my belt. I love it but it’s way too big now 😩

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  2. Curious about your thoughts about silicone knee/seat patches? I got a new saddle and the maker explicitly forbids silicone breech patches. It voids the warranty on leather wear! I don’t like how sticky it is so it doesn’t bother me to not wear them.

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    1. I love my silicone ones, especially the knee patch. I have a couple full seat too but they have VERY light silicone that isn’t very grippy. I haven’t had any issues with any of them wearing on my saddle leather. But then again I don’t buy the ones that have a shitload of silicone… I want a little bit of grip, I don’t want to be glued in.

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    2. I’ve been riding in silicone full-seats for a few years now, ever since I figured out how wonderful a little extra stick is with an athletic-but-spooky horse. Ha. I ride in Pipers (their knit silicone) but they don’t fit well anymore so I haven’t worn them in a while, Ovation tights, and Kerrits. The Kerrits are the least sticky (but fit me the best), the Pipers are probably the most sticky. The Ovations are intermediate but have left a faint pattern on my saddle: hard to tell if it’s due to sweat (they’re exclusively my hot-weather tights) or the nature of their silicone. The pattern comes out right away with cleaning (standard saddle soap), so it hasn’t bothered me. If it matters the saddle I notice this on is a Black Country (I haven’t noticed it on my County but I don’t ride in that one as often).

      I recently picked up a pair of Horze Grand Prix breeches to show in and I LOVE LOVE LOVE them. Great fit for me, and the amount of “stick” from the silicone is perfect! No patterns on my saddle, and they even were sticky enough when I was doing a dressage show in the rain last weekend (so, wet saddle. And pants. And EVERYTHING else.)

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  3. I feel your pain, a few weeks ago I tried on my brand new show coat I bought in 2020 for the show season that never happened, and it was, ahem, roomy. So roomy that I brought it to the barn to show my trainer and she was laughing at how big it was on me.

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  4. Thankfully I had never accepted my weight gain, so all my show clothes finally fit again, and I don’t have to go through this (sorry…)! I have the same body type as you, so fully relate to the breeches problem. I have a bunch of size 30 breeches that need new homes, but I’m not ready to deal with the shipping all over the place.
    I’m a little sad about your Winston coat though. They are so beautiful!

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  5. It’s funny that a night of Indian food and ice cream resulted in the conclusion that you’ve gone down a clothes size 😂

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  6. Are tailors not able to work with Motionlite fabric? I’ve had tailors take in the waist on show breeches (I also have a gapping problem) for like $30 which has been amazing and well worth it for the perfect fit!

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    1. It’s a tough fabric to work with since it’s so thin and stretchy and holey. Not really worth it when it’s easier/more economical to just sell the old ones and buy new ones.

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