So I’m sure anyone that’s been reading this blog for very long can vividly remember the story of that time Michelle thought Manny was a Maddy. In her excitement after his birth she didn’t get a very good look under the tail and he was a very pretty foal, so it took a few days for her to notice he had a ween. Hence the story that she will never live down (not as long as I have a say in it, anyway) and the occasional nickname of “Two Holes”. Because ya know… you gotta count the holes under the tail. Colts = one. Fillies = two. She’s been an exceptionally good sport about it all.

But anyway, she’s been waiting for a filly out of Stormie in particular. Last year’s foal was a colt, and obviously Ollie this year is also a colt (and he’s been dangling his bits since day 1, so there’s no room for doubt on that one). She was a bit bummed about that, because she was reaaaaaally wanting a grulla filly by Usandro out of Stormie, and she got SO close. And despite her extreme love for and devotion to Ollie, I think he must have sensed the minor twinge of disappointment somehow, because he did a thing. A real yucky thing.

No one is totally sure what he did or how (best guess maybe he was rubbing his butt on the fence or something and ended up with a poorly placed splinter? Who knows. Babies.) but he came in one day with a really really swollen… uh… under-the-tail region. Like at first it looked like a super big bad impaction trying to force it’s way out.

Here’s where you stop scrolling if you don’t want to see horse bumholes.

There is literally nothing cute happening in the rest of this post.

It starts out cringey and quickly devolves into horror movie status.

You were warned.

I’m not kidding.

Ok you asked for it.

Obviously that’s horrifying. Cue panic. Immediate veterinary assistance.

It took a little time to determine that it was actually an abscess. A really really big disgusting deep one, right under his tail. It must have been seriously painful, but Ollie was tolerant of all the poking and prodding and attention. And finally, they got it to open up to drain. And it was NASTY.

Look I already warned you to stop scrolling.

You should be questioning all your life choices right now, you sicko.

Ok fine here it comes.

And once there was a drain hole, drain is indeed what it did. It just kept going and going and going and going.

Clearly it was extremely important to keep it open and draining but also keep it clean, so Ollie had to go stay at the vet’s. This was just too big of a job, and closely monitoring that extra hole was going to be very important. So Ollie has been gone, hence why there isn’t a better, cuter, tremendously less traumatizing Foal Friday to share with you this week. Without Ollie, things are a little dull.

But anyway, as most disgusting drainage abscess holes do, it got worse before it got better. Like… so much worse. But all the puss that was stuck deep down in there finally made it’s way out and holy crap it was like Dr. Pimple Popper on steroids.

I seriously implore you to NOT continue scrolling.

Like you might not ever come back from this.

If you’ve eaten anything recently you should stop right here.

This image will be seared into your brain forever.

I might need you to sign a release.

Wow you’re disgusting, you know that right?

I KNOW.

I KNOW.

IT IS EQUAL PARTS HORRENDOUS AND AMAZING.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Poor Ollie, you know that thing really has GOT to hurt, especially being right under his tail. That drainage hole is like the same size as his little pony baby bumhole. He’s been a super good patient though, which says a lot about his character. He’s charmed his caretakers and added to his already large fan club.

And luckily, things are going well. The drainage looks to be pretty much finished now, and the hole is starting to close up now from the inside out. It seems much less painful for him, too.

He’s been given the all clear to come home, so that’s a huge sigh of relief. He’ll be happy to get back to his friends, I’m sure. Being stuck by himself is no fun, especially for his poor mother.

Hopefully it continues to heal well and poor Ollie can keep himself out of trouble. Valiant effort on his part to appease Michelle and convert himself to a Two Holes, but that just didn’t really quite work out.

For everyone who’s made it all the way to the bottom of this post, I’m not sure if I should commend you or be concerned about you. Probably both. But um… happy Friday? If that’s even possible anymore…