Millionaire Me

I dunno if she really intended for this to be a blog hop or not, but Olivia asked “What would you do if a long-lost distant relative died and left you a zillion dollars?” and this is a fantasy world that I cannot resist. Mostly because I think about it regularly. In excruciating detail. Even though I do not play the lottery or have any uber-rich relatives, nor am I ever gonna wrangle me a sugar daddy. But a gal can dream right?

Image result for money gif

First, I’m going to assume that the amount I have to spend is infinite, because although her post was titled “Millionaire Me”, she said “a zillion dollars”. And I can blow through a million or ten in a heartbeat, so I’m taking that “zillion” literally here.

Step 1: buy a farm. This 115 acre eventing facility in Aiken, for a cool $1.8 million, should do just fine. The price actually seems really reasonable, all things considered. Gallop track, two barns, cross country courses, and a log home? Sold.

As soon as the ink is dry on that deal, my ass will be on a plane (first class, of course) to go horse shopping. First thing a girl needs? How about an experienced and yet very forgiving 2* or 3* horse to show me the ropes through Prelim and 1*? I’ve never owned a schoolmaster type in my entire life, but I would love to have something very experienced so I could learn from it. Let’s go ahead and see what that’s about. Bonus points if it’s a mare.

something like this would do

The second horse I’m buying is a good broodmare by Heraldik. They’re hard to find these days, but since I have a zillion dollars, I’m sure it’s not impossible. As soon as the mare gets here I’ll do a few embryo transfers usingΒ Leprince des Bois, Upsilon, Ramiro B, and Contenda. Maybe even Sea Lion. And Cevin Z and Diarado and Diacontinus. Shit, better hire a breeding farm manager, we’re gonna have a lot of recip mares and babies. Also I may as well buy a nice Mighty Magic mare while I’m in Europe so she can keep the Heraldik mare company. Look at me, thinking ahead.

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This Mighty Magic mare is already a 3* horse… maybe she’d also fill my schoolmaster requirement? #twobirdsonehorse

You know what, lets throw in a world-class youngster for my trainer, too. I wouldn’t mind having a VIP owner’s pass at LRK3DE or Burghley one day. I’m picturing something like Astier Nicolas’ Alertamalib’Or (his Mondial du Lion 7yo winner from last year). Guess we could just go to Mondial du Lion and let her pick out which one she wants. Because ZILLION DOLLARS.

Image result for Alertamalib'Or
I don’t see why not

Clearly we’re gonna be in Europe a lot, may as well buy a house there too. Somewhere around Namur, Belgium, I’m thinking. In the middle of everywhere I want to go and near a main train line. Perfect.

Henry and Presto would benefit from all this money too. Aside from their beautiful new farm, I’d be flying in the best farrier I could find, getting monthy chiro/acupuncture, weekly massage, maybe a nice solarium in the barn, a pool so the horses could swim for fitness, a nice salt water spa to soak their legs, why not throw in a PEMF blanket, etc. Henry would still get to show and do cross country and pack my butt around, until he decided he didn’t want to anymore. And since he’d be living on a farm with XC courses, he could have way more fun way more often.

Image result for horse salt water spa
Henry said he wants one. Okay he would never say that, but he’s getting one anyway.

I’d definitely have to buy the two miniature donkeys that Presto lives with now, because I can’t imagine him going anywhere without Dudley and Bob. They’re a staple.

May as well go ahead and buy a fancy air ride trailer while I’m at it, too, to haul all these creatures around. And all new totally custom tack with all the upgrade options I want. Which means navy piping EVERYWHERE.

Image result for devoucoux navy piping

Better make sure there’s a big closet in the house, I’m gonna need it for all the breeches and custom boots and helmets I’m buying. It’s gonna be like a Stacie situation up in there.

I think I’d also want to start an OTTB retirement program, so maybe a whole separate farm for that?

Yeah even with infinite dollars I feel like I’d be broke pretty quickly.

28 thoughts on “Millionaire Me

  1. I laughed as soon as i got to you flying “first class, of course”

    your last line is very true though. can I stay at your aiken farm over the winter? thanks!!!


  2. That’s my favorite stuck in traffic game to play “what would I do if x amount of money fell in my lap right now?”

    And honestly that Aiken farm seems like a steal, if anyone has a few mil sitting around.


  3. Great minds think alike! Both on how this NEEDED to be a blog hop, and also on buying the trainers something UBER talented. Who doesn’t want to get the best seats at KY3DE, Burghley, and Badminton while sipping on Grade A KY Bourbon, Champagne, or whatever else fancy people drink?!


  4. You need to think this through a little better. ;o)
    Obviously, you need to invest some of that money so you can live off the interest.
    And – I think you should just hire a personal chiro, massage therapist and farrier for your horses. Vets, too. You need a good repro vet and a lameness specialist? For your performance horses and the OTTBs.
    What is your stance on cloning animals? I think itΒ΄s iffy but cloning Henny would bring in some top dollar…


    1. Well now, re clones, is that Henry the way he was when Amanda got him for $900, or the way he is now? You might have to clone Amanda, too. πŸ˜‰


  5. Everyone is having such good ideas, I wanna go back and edit mine to include stuff I didn’t think of haha. I’d use my zillion dollars to buy one of the fancy babies that you bred using your zillion dollars #zillionaireteamwork


  6. dying laughing at the Stacie Situation. I dont think there are enough boots in the world for you when you have money πŸ™‚ HA HA HA

    This is great I thought about doing a blog hop as soon as I read Olivia’s too. SEE what she did there? She fed into our all I WANT TO BE A MILLIONAIRE VIBES (Or zilliionaire whatevers).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pfffft I’m gonna have an air ride semi for the horses (with box stalls… and put an AC in that bitch) and then a pimped out RV for me. I’ll hire drivers for both, naturally.


  7. It’s hard to get rid of that lifetime habit of thinking in terms of economy and efficiency, even while spending a zillion dollars, but don’t want to overpay for anything, and if we can get two goods from one thing, that’s the way to go. LOL

    I could blow through a zillion so fast, I probably need 10 x zillion, I think that’s a kazillion dollars. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Because I don’t care what it costs, if I want it, I’m buying it! There is a chunk of rural land that, right now, is actually several contiguous properties owned by different people. My first go-to. I don’t feel bad about offering those people whatever it takes to get them to sell to me. If it’s 5 x market value, fine, enjoy the money and move on your way. πŸ˜‰

    Then, just wait till you see the fantabulous new horse facility that is going in … with the rescue section, the retirement section, the eventing section, the horsemanship teaching section, the rehab section …

    … and I’m going to get the best dang farrier and the best dang vet to both move their businesses to my property, with the agreement is that they are available on call to the horses living on my place at all time. Of course those businesses will need to be fully staffed so that the main farrier and main vet get some time off – sometimes. πŸ™‚

    There’s a lot more but that’s a start. πŸ™‚

    That’s my North Texas facility, btw. Then we zone in on the Central Texas facility …


  8. OMG It’s Jumping Branch!!!!!! They use to run recognized events there through the Prelim level and now she just runs schooling HT when she feels like it. It’s got such lovely footing even when the temps are below freezing and my trainer always talks about the time she was competing there and had to warm up for dressage while it was 29 degrees. It may not be the fanciest place in Aiken but it certainly has a lot of history and is a beloved venue that people still talk about with fondness. Become a Zillionare and buy it please!!!!!!


  9. This is pretty much my zillionaire fantasy as well.

    Nice eventing property, nice schoolmaster, fancy babies, someone to turn me into a decent rider and I would throw in a Thoroughbred retraining facility over breeding because as a zillionaire, I would rather just buy in the ones I want than have to fuss around with breeding them.

    That being said, I was super surprised to see Contenda on your list of stallions. Not because he isn’t to the most wonderful stallion ever (I have two Contenda progeny), just because I didn’t know many people had heard about him outside of Aus.


      1. That’s so incredible. I can’t speak highly enough of him, or his owner because she was an absolute dream to deal with during our first breeding season (we were using chilled and the first collection got left on the tarmac at the airport – not only was she tracking it meticulously and told us about it before we even knew what had happened, she managed to do an emergency collection AND get it to us on time). When you become a zillionaire our weanling colt by him is for sale πŸ˜‰


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